Husband getting married

[Grassisalotgreener]

Separated 13 years, no contact since children came of age, separated as a result of dv. I was informed today that he is getting Married next week .
Should i inform someone in authority?
Aibu if i report him, i was delighted when he moved on so not upset he is getting married,but im astounded because we are not divorced!

If he is like this and left you and your children with trauma as you said in a prev post, why on earth are they going to his wedding and still even in contact with him?

Absolutely this. Don’t blow the whistle until he does commit a crime.

Baguettecat
I have clearly missed a trick, regarding changing name. I am going to look into this , if it is something i can do then it will be done asap..

I might be evil, but I would leave it and not say a word. You can inherit from him if he dies one day maybe, especially if he screws your dc over.

Yes, when married in Ireland you can use your maiden name or your husband's surname without having to do anything. You'll need to show your birth certificate (or other evidence of maiden name) to change name on your passport and possibly bank too.

I have no idea what the rules are over there, but would him committing bigamy help I. Getting a divorce over there in anyway? I mean why would they expect you to go through mediation if this is what he has done? Just a thought.

however beyond the divorce and whether his illegal action could benefit you, given the dv past, like you the do/say nothing option is probably the best bet

She isn't divorced. Seriously stop.

Yes, your maiden name is still legally your name, you can revert to it at any time.

Marriage and divorce records are public so you will be able to obtain that information directly from the relevant civil registration service. Contact information of the service will depend on where the person is located (which county)

You can look for the relevant civil registration service here - www2.hse.ie/services/births-deaths-and-marriages/find-a-civil-registration-service/

It's possible he filed for divorce without you knowing. My BIL did it. His wife was none the wiser! Until he told her and showed her 3 years later because she called asking for a divorce...

Definitely report otherwise his poor wife to be isn't getting any of the protection she is signing up for.

ByQuaintAzureWasp

And what does half of nothing equal these days?

No it isn't.

There was a case a few years ago of a Latvian woman in Limerick who was fined €100 for a bigamous relationship. Even if your husband goes ahead with the new wedding it is unlikely he'll be worse off.

Your ex husband could still have a claim on the family home, your statement that he'll get half of nothing is untrue. Unless you have a fully watertight judicial separation that sorted out finances and child arrangements at the time. You can revert to your maiden name at any point.

You could also represent yourself in a divorce case once you have filed the appropriate paperwork. If he contests the divorce it will cost him more money than you to contest it fully given the passage of time. He will have to file a statement of means and a defence among other paperwork. If you apply for a divorce you are the one in charge. If there is evidence of domestic abuse mediation is not acceptable.

If you want to be shot of this gobshite forever you can take control.

OP you said you pay a mortgage ,have a car to run etc..somewhere her you have assets that need to be ring-fence against his ex getting his hand on them.
Can you get free legal advice from the Irish equivalent of citizens advice or pro bono centres? I understand there's a financial barrier but there is also an incentive for him to warrant a divorce finalised otherwise his assets are maybe also open to you. But what you need to prioritise is you ,your mh and clean break if you can.
You say legally sepersted what does that mean you have some sort of order in place?

There's to many what ifs in this situation to just leave it you need to sort it out or at the very least get solid free legal advice on your financial position and what's at risk should you die/ I.e. if house is joint tenants then he still has a claim to your home even if a will is in place in England so check the Irish equivalent law etc.

Absolutely this!!

Part of me would take great pleasure in shopping him to the authorities and making him pay for his actions, as some sort of justice for what he had put me through.

But the greatest reward is him not being in OPs life and for that I would stay well out of it.

I would try and see if I was still married somehow but leave it at that and hope he gets found out some other way.

The last thing I’d want is someone like him back in my life, especially if he were to blame me for the failure of his marriage.

Cucy
All correct, my decision is made, i was regretting my decision to post as clearly a lot of respondants came off topic and didnt read my post properly.
But reading through advice and opinions now i am happy to let it go, not my problem.

Seriously?

Im sorry but I can’t believe you genuinely thought that.

If only it were that simple

Please don't tell me there are posters on here that think that after five years apart, a divorce is automatic without actually having paperwork!

I think you have come to the right decision. I am so sorry, this must have been quite a shock for you and your children.

Marriage is public for sure, but I’ve never heard of divorces being published. Are you sure about this?

LBFseBrom

Thankyou, i think the realisation that i could have comitted myself to someone who has no respect for either of his "wives" or children is upsetting.

Nazzywish

Nothing I'm worried about , already have all this taken care of.

I agree with @Nazzywish

@Grassisalotgreener - you may have 'nothing' now (though i wonder about home equity, seeing that you have a mortgage)........ but this may change - inheritance, promotion, more adult children becoming independent...

In your shoes I'd seek a divorce. If you have a legal separation agreement, entered into after mediation, I wonder whether most of the costs associated with divorce may already have been incurred. I suspect you'd feel much safer after a clean and final break.

Is there an equivalent of Wikivorce in Ireland, and/or a Republic of Ireland version of Divorce for Dummies or other divorce guides? An Irish equivalent of Citizens Advice Bureau or Women's Aid?

Edit: Sorry - cross posted. Though I still wouldn't leave things unresolved.