Page 20 | Mini eggs for Mother's Day.

ChicMiss · 2025-03-30T08:51:14+00:00

I get a bag from my child. Who then asks to share them. No. Absolutely no. AIBU for a bit more thought? I don't like that I'm expected to share, they've gone off in a huff and my OH is also in a huff.

ForestFox44 · 30/03/2025 22:27

Iiquidsnake · 30/03/2025 14:58

My advice to your child would be to LTB (you).

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

MumAsYouAre · 30/03/2025 22:31

I didn’t get a gift but got a couple of homemade cards from my two (6 and 3). Of course, I threw them back in their faces, shouting “where’s my gift? Something that’s just mine, I mean. That you bought from a shop!!!” 😂

Difficile · 30/03/2025 22:34

ChicMiss · 30/03/2025 10:00

6 years old. I'm just miffed that it's a gift I have to share. Yes it's mother's day but I'm having to share my gift. It would be nice to receive something that is just mine.

I had this argument last year when DH bought me some fancy chocolates and then opened the box that evening before I'd even had chance to! I really lost my temper.

YANBU, no you don't have to share everything with everyone. It's your present. I do, however, think YABU to question mini eggs as a gift, they are clearly top tier chocolate.

SouthLondonMum22 · 30/03/2025 22:43

AthWat · 30/03/2025 22:17

Why do you argue in this obtuse way?
It's not about anyone being entitled to your things. It's about an adult choosing to keep mini eggs to themselves. Fucking mini eggs. Yes, they have the right to. Nobody disputes that. If they want to, they have something wired wrongly.

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You can't seem to argue without throwing around personal comments.

It doesn't matter what it is, it still belongs to the person and others still aren't entitled to them.

AthWat · 30/03/2025 23:09

SouthLondonMum22 · 30/03/2025 22:43

You can't seem to argue without throwing around personal comments.

It doesn't matter what it is, it still belongs to the person and others still aren't entitled to them.

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You've just repeated what you said, paying absolutely no attention to what I had said, which shows why you shouldn't have just repeated it.

I'll say it again - nobody is saying anyone else is entitled to it.
People are saying you ought to want to share it.

You can't reply to my point just by restating nobody is entitled to it, over and over again.

AthWat · 30/03/2025 23:10

Difficile · 30/03/2025 22:34

I had this argument last year when DH bought me some fancy chocolates and then opened the box that evening before I'd even had chance to! I really lost my temper.

YANBU, no you don't have to share everything with everyone. It's your present. I do, however, think YABU to question mini eggs as a gift, they are clearly top tier chocolate.

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Your husband opening a gift he gave you and your six year old asking if she can have one are poles apart and call for entirely different responses, don't you agree?

Difficile · 30/03/2025 23:16

AthWat · 30/03/2025 23:10

Your husband opening a gift he gave you and your six year old asking if she can have one are poles apart and call for entirely different responses, don't you agree?

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I would use a kinder tone, but no, I think the response can be the same... No it's not OK to ask someone for their gift, or take it without asking, regardless of what it is.

You wait to be offered, and if the person doesn't feel like sharing, you accept that as it's their present.

I'm a Mum, not a martyr. I'm entitled to things that are just mine, especially when that's a gift and children (and husband) should be able to acknowledge that.

SouthLondonMum22 · 30/03/2025 23:21

AthWat · 30/03/2025 23:09

You've just repeated what you said, paying absolutely no attention to what I had said, which shows why you shouldn't have just repeated it.

I'll say it again - nobody is saying anyone else is entitled to it.
People are saying you ought to want to share it.

You can't reply to my point just by restating nobody is entitled to it, over and over again.

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I paid attention to what you said which is why I added that it doesn't matter what it is because you keep talking about the fact that in this case it is mini eggs.

Mums don't always have to share their gift no matter what it is.

AthWat · 30/03/2025 23:22

Difficile · 30/03/2025 23:16

I would use a kinder tone, but no, I think the response can be the same... No it's not OK to ask someone for their gift, or take it without asking, regardless of what it is.

You wait to be offered, and if the person doesn't feel like sharing, you accept that as it's their present.

I'm a Mum, not a martyr. I'm entitled to things that are just mine, especially when that's a gift and children (and husband) should be able to acknowledge that.

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Your husband is old enough to know better and you'd be quite entitled to call him all sorts of things for doing it.

Nobody has once suggested the child shouldn't be told it's wrong to ask; just that after they have been told that, offering them a mini egg would seem to most people to be an appropriate thing to do.
I don't know why people arguing the "it's ok to eat all your mini eggs yourself" side keep on about entitlement. Nobody suggests there's any entitlement. Just that most parents would happily offer their six year old a mini egg, and it seems odd to most people that such a number of parents apparenlty wouldn't.
Of course you don't have to. You don't have to do anything much more for your kids than keep them alive and healthy. Most people want to do more.

AthWat · 30/03/2025 23:28

SouthLondonMum22 · 30/03/2025 23:21

I paid attention to what you said which is why I added that it doesn't matter what it is because you keep talking about the fact that in this case it is mini eggs.

Mums don't always have to share their gift no matter what it is.

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This is the case we are discussing. It does matter what it is, because not even the most self-centred idiot could argue that the "pleasure" they were looking forward to in eating those cheap children's sweets in any way factors into the decision.

AthWat · 30/03/2025 23:29

SouthLondonMum22 · 30/03/2025 23:21

I paid attention to what you said which is why I added that it doesn't matter what it is because you keep talking about the fact that in this case it is mini eggs.

Mums don't always have to share their gift no matter what it is.

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Also, why are you always saying "mums", as though that's any different. Parents. Adults. People. Same rules apply to everyone. Again you are trying to contruct a narrative where people are arguing "only mums should do this" which again, nobody has remotely suggested.

SouthLondonMum22 · 30/03/2025 23:32

AthWat · 30/03/2025 23:29

Also, why are you always saying "mums", as though that's any different. Parents. Adults. People. Same rules apply to everyone. Again you are trying to contruct a narrative where people are arguing "only mums should do this" which again, nobody has remotely suggested.

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Because mums generally have a habit of putting themselves last the vast majority of the time and we are talking about a gift for mothers day.

PilotFish · 30/03/2025 23:41

To all the Mini Egg enthusiasts (or the M&S ones which are better but sadly sold out near me…) I highly recommend the insta trend of sticking them in an air fryer for two mins.

Difficile · 30/03/2025 23:45

AthWat · 30/03/2025 23:22

Your husband is old enough to know better and you'd be quite entitled to call him all sorts of things for doing it.

Nobody has once suggested the child shouldn't be told it's wrong to ask; just that after they have been told that, offering them a mini egg would seem to most people to be an appropriate thing to do.
I don't know why people arguing the "it's ok to eat all your mini eggs yourself" side keep on about entitlement. Nobody suggests there's any entitlement. Just that most parents would happily offer their six year old a mini egg, and it seems odd to most people that such a number of parents apparenlty wouldn't.
Of course you don't have to. You don't have to do anything much more for your kids than keep them alive and healthy. Most people want to do more.

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But why is that the most appropriate thing to do?

Most parents absolutely do do more than just keeping their children alive, including the ones you disagree with, and are constantly put their child first, which is why it's important to have some things that are just yours every now and again rather than being continuously guilted into sharing everything.

I find it unfathomable that people genuinely seem to think you have to be a self sacrificing martyr who allows their children to have whatever they want of their own things, in order to be a good parent.

AthWat · 30/03/2025 23:46

SouthLondonMum22 · 30/03/2025 23:32

Because mums generally have a habit of putting themselves last the vast majority of the time and we are talking about a gift for mothers day.

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"Mums" still need to behave like adults, and the only person drawing a distinction is you. Any adult should behave in the same way with a six year old child.

AthWat · 30/03/2025 23:48

Difficile · 30/03/2025 23:45

But why is that the most appropriate thing to do?

Most parents absolutely do do more than just keeping their children alive, including the ones you disagree with, and are constantly put their child first, which is why it's important to have some things that are just yours every now and again rather than being continuously guilted into sharing everything.

I find it unfathomable that people genuinely seem to think you have to be a self sacrificing martyr who allows their children to have whatever they want of their own things, in order to be a good parent.

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Giving a six year old a mini egg from a packet they bought you is not turning yourself into a self sacrificing martyr.

If you want mini eggs, buy a packet and eat them . I have no issues with you doing this.

If your six year old gives you a bag as a present and looks expectantly at you, let them have one. After telling them they shouldn't ask, if they ask, which I will repeat just so nobody feels the need to say that again.

SouthLondonMum22 · 30/03/2025 23:52

AthWat · 30/03/2025 23:46

"Mums" still need to behave like adults, and the only person drawing a distinction is you. Any adult should behave in the same way with a six year old child.

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Teaching a 6 year old that they can't always get what they want, especially when it is someone else's gift is behaving like an adult.

Difficile · 30/03/2025 23:58

AthWat · 30/03/2025 23:48

Giving a six year old a mini egg from a packet they bought you is not turning yourself into a self sacrificing martyr.

If you want mini eggs, buy a packet and eat them . I have no issues with you doing this.

If your six year old gives you a bag as a present and looks expectantly at you, let them have one. After telling them they shouldn't ask, if they ask, which I will repeat just so nobody feels the need to say that again.

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No, but it's the thin end of the wedge isn't it. Well it's just a mini egg, well it's just some makeup, well it's just a dress, well it's just the car... Where do you then draw the line as they get older? Well it's just her body, I've always been allowed to have whatever I ask for, no ones ever said no before.... Well he's asked me, I don't feel comfortable saying no because no ones ever modelled it for me, so I'll just go along with it...

No, good parenting is teaching them from an early age that they can't always demand what they want and get it, that they have to respect other people's wishes and other people's things, and that we will do the same for them.

Why would you tell them they shouldn't do something, and then reward them with exactly what they wanted?

Motheranddaughter · 31/03/2025 00:05

Difficile · 30/03/2025 23:58

No, but it's the thin end of the wedge isn't it. Well it's just a mini egg, well it's just some makeup, well it's just a dress, well it's just the car... Where do you then draw the line as they get older? Well it's just her body, I've always been allowed to have whatever I ask for, no ones ever said no before.... Well he's asked me, I don't feel comfortable saying no because no ones ever modelled it for me, so I'll just go along with it...

No, good parenting is teaching them from an early age that they can't always demand what they want and get it, that they have to respect other people's wishes and other people's things, and that we will do the same for them.

Why would you tell them they shouldn't do something, and then reward them with exactly what they wanted?

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Sorry but I think 99.99999 % of the population understands the difference and the stuff you are talking about

Motheranddaughter · 31/03/2025 00:07

should have said between a mini egg and what you are talking about

Difficile · 31/03/2025 00:24

Motheranddaughter · 31/03/2025 00:05

Sorry but I think 99.99999 % of the population understands the difference and the stuff you are talking about

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Which is why almost 800,000 women in England and Wales are raped or sexually assaulted every year, right? Because 99.99999% of the population understand that they can't just demand something from someone else and expect it, even if that person doesn't agree?

You might think it's ridiculous to teach a child that no means no, and that if someone doesn't want to share, or if someone doesn't agree to something, you respect their wishes. I don't. It might be a mini egg now, but it won't always be.

SouthLondonMum22 · 31/03/2025 00:34

Difficile · 30/03/2025 23:58

No, but it's the thin end of the wedge isn't it. Well it's just a mini egg, well it's just some makeup, well it's just a dress, well it's just the car... Where do you then draw the line as they get older? Well it's just her body, I've always been allowed to have whatever I ask for, no ones ever said no before.... Well he's asked me, I don't feel comfortable saying no because no ones ever modelled it for me, so I'll just go along with it...

No, good parenting is teaching them from an early age that they can't always demand what they want and get it, that they have to respect other people's wishes and other people's things, and that we will do the same for them.

Why would you tell them they shouldn't do something, and then reward them with exactly what they wanted?

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Exactly.

Well said.

B1anche · 31/03/2025 00:34

Difficile · 31/03/2025 00:24

Which is why almost 800,000 women in England and Wales are raped or sexually assaulted every year, right? Because 99.99999% of the population understand that they can't just demand something from someone else and expect it, even if that person doesn't agree?

You might think it's ridiculous to teach a child that no means no, and that if someone doesn't want to share, or if someone doesn't agree to something, you respect their wishes. I don't. It might be a mini egg now, but it won't always be.

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Oh please! 🤣 Sharing sweets with kids will turn them into rapists? Ive heard it all now!

AthWat · 31/03/2025 00:43

SouthLondonMum22 · 30/03/2025 23:52

Teaching a 6 year old that they can't always get what they want, especially when it is someone else's gift is behaving like an adult.

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How many times are you going to say that and refuse to countenance the fact that giving a six year old a mini egg in these circumstances can be done in a way that doesn't lead to them assuming they will always get what they want?

AthWat · 31/03/2025 00:48

Difficile · 31/03/2025 00:24

Which is why almost 800,000 women in England and Wales are raped or sexually assaulted every year, right? Because 99.99999% of the population understand that they can't just demand something from someone else and expect it, even if that person doesn't agree?

You might think it's ridiculous to teach a child that no means no, and that if someone doesn't want to share, or if someone doesn't agree to something, you respect their wishes. I don't. It might be a mini egg now, but it won't always be.

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Ignoring the idiotic comparison, the OP didn't decide to take this opportunity to teach the child a lesson about sharing. She just didn't want to share.

And once again, don't you thnk any halfway intelligent adult could have worked out a way to let the child know demanding things was not polite, and also managing to give them a mini egg after they had had that discussion? Or do you think kids are like dogs, and you have to withhold reward for them to learn a lesson?