Mother's Day - should school do more?

[inquisitiveinga]

Disclaimer: I am absolutely not going to complain regarding this matter, I understand that teachers may have completely valid reasons for the below. My child's teacher is also FANTASTIC, she doesn't have children, and I can't help but think that due to this she perhaps doesn't understand the value of a handmade card?

My child has come home from school today and it's very clear that nothing has been prepared for Mother's Day, at least where their class is concerned. Usually a "beautiful" card comes home and it really makes my day.

Personally, I'm not bothered. I'm fortunate enough to have a husband who will not doubt ensure I have something from my 7 year old, and 1 year old (although I'm not really sure anything from her is warranted!). However, I can't help but think about single mothers in the class who may not receive anything (and who absolutely should).

AIBU to even be having this thought process?

Most 7 year olds are creative enough to make 1 for their mum themselves. That’s If they have arts and craft supplies at home.

The thing is schools are meant to educate and 'more learning' does not take place in KS2 - they are all learning all the time from EYFS onwards. It's just that in EYFS they may learn about families, or celebrations or daffodils or kindness, and a mothers day card MIGHT fit in with the theme or it could be a fine motor skills activity.

Possibly in KS1 it could be a writing task to say what their mother does for them - something familiar for them to write about.

Whatever, no child should be making a mothers day card at school with the sole purpose of pleasing the mothers.

It’s a partner’s job to facilitate this. Grandparents, Sunday school or clubs like brownies and beavers at a stretch.

Teachers have enough on their plates with all the challenging fallout from the increasing societal inability to actually do any parenting these days. They can’t also be held responsible for the feelings of women who made the unfortunate decision to have kids with useless men.

This is one of the most bonkers threads I’ve read. You are being absurdly unreasonable OP. Teacher doesn’t have children therefore she doesn’t realise the preciousness of a homemade card. Fucking hell 🤣.

Buy your kid some crayons and a piece of card and you’re sorted. You can stick it in the fridge once they’re done and treasure it forever. Shame on that teacher 🙃.

My DD is Y5 and they all made a card in class for the mums. I am a single mum and appreciate the gesture. Though DD being nine already asked me to take her to the shops so she could buy me a card as well, and says she was also planning to make a home-made one at home.

I don't think it's a big ask of the school, and can be done as an art class, surely? Only downside I see if having the class make a card for the mums when some children might not have a mum.

I personally would rather a grown adult be upset/offended for not getting a card, than a child who has no one to make one for.

I used to dread Father’s Day because they would make the kids make a card for their dad but my DDs dad wasn’t involved at all.
They then changed it to any male family member but my DD had none of those either.

I can only imagine how painful Mother’s Day must be if your mum had died.

I don’t think it should be spoken about in schools at all.

Yes, I think that is the point, really.

Wow I hadn’t realised our school are so in the minority here, I got a card and a plant from one child and a lovely card and poem from the older one, all organised by the teachers. Then today all classes did a 10 minute zoom call where they say something nice about their mum and do a song!

That's lucky that all the children have a mum, then.

I don't think it should be expected but it's lovely when they do.

Dd (year 5) has told me that she's made a card and she's really excited to give it to me because she's designed it herself and is really pleased with how it's turned out.

After reading this thread I realise how fortunate I am that our primary school allows the children to make cards, they do Christmas, Mothers and Fathers day.
Dh always buys ones for them to write in too but it's the handmade ones that I keep.

Don't forget the snide implication that because this teacher doesn't have children she's a lesser professional.

You’re not understanding. This isn’t an activity where you can just usher the children who can’t or don’t want participate into another classroom to do something else like you would a heart dissection or something if they were squeamish. This is not an activity where the children who can’t or don’t want to participate can just do something else at the back of the classroom whilst everyone gets on with making cards.

Children who have had mothers who have passed away, who have a life-threatening illness, children who have been taken away or separated from their mothers are going through I assume unimaginable pain. It would be utterly cruel to have the rest of the class participate in a nice but non-curriculum activity to celebrate having something that they yearn for or miss deeply. The trade-off isn’t remotely worth it here. This is absolutely a time when the minority should be considered. Can you imagine how painful it must be for a small child who has lost their mother to watch their classmates full of glee making cards for their own? Their pain isn’t going to lesson by giving them another activity to occupy them instead. Utterly cruel. I have three boys in my tutor group alone who have fathers who have died. The teacher who has more information than you will most likely have made a judgement call.

Also, it’s your husbands job to get your child to make a beautiful card for you. Why is it the schools responsibility?!

If it was only your child's class I would imagine there is at least one child who has possibly lost their mum recently and/or has been removed from an abusive mum. Making mother's day cards would therefore be traumatic or triggering.

When a girl in my DDs year lost her mum to cancer the school asked her dad whether they should ban mother's day cards/gifts that year.

It could be because there were no resources in school to actually make them due to budget cuts and the teacher was unable to afford to buy the card and craft materials from her own money or was unwilling to do that any longer. Every time I do cards with my class it involves some sort of personal expense on art supplies.

That’s not school’s responsibility!

Jesus!

I'm a teacher and honestly I just don't have time to fit things like this in. The curriculum we have to cover is huge. I know is sounds ridiculous but I don't have 10mins extra anywhere in our week.
I wish we did as there is lots of little things I'd like to do but we can't.
Also as others have said these things are a minefield, I know other teachers who are ky friends, have had complaints because they did mothers day and fathers day cards, comments if they didn't. It's never ending and at times feels.luke we can't do right for doing wrong.

Sorry I should have said they did say it was for mums, grandmas and female caregivers. I think we are fortunate though as I don’t believe any children have lost their mums in my kids classes (we’re a very small village primary).

Oh I see. Yes, that's a better idea.

This is really heartless. The 'minority' you're so keen to disparage includes children who have lost parents in tragic circumstances, or who have been removed from their parents and into the care of social services. It's more common than you might think, and as parents you don't know the full picture.

As teachers, we put the wellbeing of all of our children above the demands of tantrum-throwing parents. I appreciate the point about single parents, but they are still adults who are more capable of handling tricky emotions than children are.

My Mum is a primary school teacher and at one point taught Year 1. She normally made Mother's Day cards with her class but one year one of her pupils had lost their Mum to cancer a few months previously. That year she didn't do cards with her class.

My daughter used to make things at primary (she is 12 now) - I actually still have a red clay heart she made me for Mother's Day one year hanging on my bedroom door now! It was nice and appreciated but I don't think i'd have minded if it had happened - as others said, maybe their are kids in the class who don't have moms who would find it upsetting/awkward (tho I think the standard thing is to encourage them to make something for a maternal figure - and as there are now lots of carndmother cards for mother's day that isn't too much of a stretch.....)

OP, as you mentioned single moms in the class and how it would be nice for them to be celebrated, might be something you could organise via the class parents WhatsApp if there is one? It would be a kind thought.

Oh for goodness sake 😂😂

I don’t recall getting anything from school in Y3 or later. Not sure about Y2. It stops pretty early.

There are also the complicated families to consider. I’m a grown woman and lost my mother years ago. I would still sting to have someone suggest I make a card for someone in my life that is like a mother.

Oh fuck off!
We already have to brush their teeth and wipe their backsides, god forbid we try and teach!
Full disclaimer, I'm EYFS so have been able to do cards as it's incorporated into my planning. But year 1 and up struggle to fit the curriculum in as it is.

In our school only nursery and reception have made something (decorated biscuit in an Easter themed paper basket) and no-one has made cards at school.

As someone who has previously taught in schools I imagine this is due to 1. Absolutely no time in the curriculum for this. 2. Lots of parent complaints about cards been made - you would be amazed at what some parents will complain about. 3. A sensitive issue (parent loss/ separation/ emergency foster situation ect) for a few children in the school.