Mother's Day - should school do more?

[inquisitiveinga]

Disclaimer: I am absolutely not going to complain regarding this matter, I understand that teachers may have completely valid reasons for the below. My child's teacher is also FANTASTIC, she doesn't have children, and I can't help but think that due to this she perhaps doesn't understand the value of a handmade card?

My child has come home from school today and it's very clear that nothing has been prepared for Mother's Day, at least where their class is concerned. Usually a "beautiful" card comes home and it really makes my day.

Personally, I'm not bothered. I'm fortunate enough to have a husband who will not doubt ensure I have something from my 7 year old, and 1 year old (although I'm not really sure anything from her is warranted!). However, I can't help but think about single mothers in the class who may not receive anything (and who absolutely should).

AIBU to even be having this thought process?

I hated having to do mother's day cards. My mother decided to leave and not give a damn about me (she claimed sick so didn't even pay anything towards my upbringing). I can't remember a single good memory about her. Your DH could easily help make a card for you, but instead it's the schools fault that you haven't got a card.

Yes I saw that after!! Poor kids

My children's primary never did mothers day or fathers day cards or anything linked. There are children without mum's or dad's or being cared for by someone else. They don't need extra upset by schools celebrating these days

My DS's school haven't done mother's day cards. I most likely won't get anything as I'm a single mum. But I guess that's life. I remember classes making father's day cards at school after my dad had died. It was more awkward than upsetting, it was clear the teacher didn't really know what to do with me.

In an empathetic and caring society sometimes the minority should be catered for.
My best friend is a single parent and every year I make sure someone has covered mother's day, birthdays and Christmas, more for the child's benefit than hers. Maybe friends and family can step up more for the single mother.

Aside from the issue of cards and sensitivities around family circumstances, is it not more important that children - all of us in fact - treat each other kindly and with respect every day, rather than making a big fuss for one day and then just carrying on?

@inquisitiveinga I teach Y2 and we don’t make cards (no year group in our school does either). Not because we don’t want to make time (although time is very tight) but because we have children whose mums have died or who they have no contact with (as an example). We don’t do Father’s Day cards for the same reason.

Obviously Mother's Day cards are a nice thing to receive but it really isn't reasonable to expect schools to be responsible that mums, single of otherwise, are happy on Mother's Day. It just isn't. That isn't what a school is for.

Yeah sorry, I forget we live in a society that carers to the minority, not the majority. Silly me!!!!

Single mothers who have nobody to sort out a card from their kid aren't the majority either.

I'm not really sure why you're so angry. You asked 'AIBU?' and got the answer 'No'. If you're certain you're right, why bother to post and ask?

You just said making a card is educational. Surely that's about achievement?

This thread is called AIBU not ‘Tell me what I want to hear or I’ll get cross and be rude’.

Who’d be a teacher. Seriously.

What a minefield.

As a teacher (and mother), in my class last year I had 2 out of 26 who had recently deceased mothers and spoke to SLT who agreed I shouldn’t have to make the class do
Mother’s Day cards. At the age of 7 or 8 they can tell if they’re different because they’re making one to their nana. I also hate that Father’s Day isn’t celebrated in the same way!

This ⬆️. My children lost their dad when they were very young, they did not need to be reminded of this when it was Father’s Day and to have to make a card for grandad etc. I am pleased if teachers are finally realising how upsetting this is for some children. Also, I am obviously a single mum!

There will be reasons for it, many other posters have already brought up.

I am sure all the single mothers you are so worried about would much rather children who have suffered trauma weren't put through making cards or being segregated just so they could get a card.

My eldest is in year 3, I have never received a card made during school time. Last home made card was made when she was in pre-school. I'm actually slightly surprised any schools do it even in reception I had assumed that they had too many things to cover already. I agree that single mums deserve recognition too but I don't think its the school's responsibility. I'd happily help any child I knew make their mum a card but to me its not a school thing.

Just as an example...one class I worked in had 2 children in the care system, a child whose mother was dead and a child being brought up solely by a father.

It's too difficult for those children- too much potential for hurt.

Ok - I hear you!

I lost my dad aged 8. I remember doing cards for dad's and I just did one for my brother instead. It wasn't as traumatising as people on this thread are making out. Would it have been easier had we not done it? Who knows. But I genuinely think I realised that the world didn't revolve around me. People are entitled to feel differently, obviously.

Are you always this dense and selfish? In this case, yes, the minority should be catered for, because the minority are likely to be bereaved young children. Can you, from your happy family situation, imagine what it's like for young children whose mother has died?

When my now adult children were in primary school, tragically 3 pupils had mothers who died. After the first died the children never made mothers' day cards again in school.

I was one of the single parents your refer to. I was widowed at 31. After my children went to school the school stopped making Fathers' Day cards, I was eternally grateful to the headmaster for making that decision, so that my bereaved children didn't have to have even more reminders of what they had suffered than they already did.

It isn't the school's responsibility to ensure you get a mother's day card. Your husband could easily supervise your child to make one, if he can't he's a pretty shit husband.
My parents used to help my children make a card for me and take them to get me a present, why on earth do you think schools should ensure single mothers get a card, it isn't their responsibility at all.

This is one of the funniest posts that I have ever read. OP, are you for real?

I can't help but think that due to this she perhaps doesn't understand the value of a handmade card

To be fair I can’t either. They’re mostly useless. I like them every now and then but here in the UK they give them out far too much.

My DD is year 1 and they didn't do cards. They did in reception.

It comes more down to your family members than the school to acknowledge you as a mother.

You have a husband, if you didn’t get a cute drawing/ handmade card that’s on him not the school teacher.

I'm not an angry woman, but I am an exasperated retired teacher.

I used to see so many children who no longer had contact with their mothers. Many schools now avoid referring specifically to mothers, fathers because life nowadays can be complicated.

On my first teaching placement, I was told that that particular school no longer asked children to draw up family trees following a complaint from a parent.

When I think about the things I DONT have time for as a year 2 teacher, and all the ways that our children are failed in our education system day in and day out, the idea that someone is getting pissed off there isn't a mothers day card is just insane.