Married but want a relationship with someone else

[schoolie258]

I know I’ll get hate for this probably. I’m married but recently met someone new online. We’ve sort of fallen for each other.

he lives in a different part of the country and of course I’m married. Not necessarily happily.

do I meet up with him and see how it goes? Or just accept the fact that my life is here with my husband?

we both have kids which makes it slightly more complicated and of course we don’t live that close to each other. Is this just a fantasy or is this something that could realistically work if we really wanted it to.

has anyone been in a long distance relationship with children. How did it end or end up?

🙄😂

Don't do it. It's all fantasy. Grass isn't greener. It's fertilised bullshit.

Your real husband, As to what??? A fantasy figure or real life rescuer. This is about the daftest thing I've read on MN.

Yes - I’ve just checked whether OP had returned as this has all the elements of a ‘Wind-em-up-and-watch-em-go’.

The vicar, who married my parents (married for over 60 years) and christened me and my siblings, gave our parents some sage advice.
You can always stay married to someone you would marry in the first place.
If you are not happy or content in your marriage, what can you do to improve the situation?
If you cannot or are unwilling to improve things, then make a clean break and live "alone" for at least a year before embarking on any new relationship.
A fantasy is exactly that, something secret in your mind. Most fantasies do not become reality.

I know I’ll get hate for this probably. I’m married but recently met someone new online. We’ve sort of fallen for each other.

Sort of fallen? You make it sound like an accident, you poor love.

It's funny, but in all the years I've been married I've never accidentally met a single man online, let alone accidentally fallen for one.

The fact that you are asking this shows you have no morals.

Leave your husband and THEN go off with long distance guy. Your husband will be better off.

I don't understand how you can make a commitment to someone and then be so casual about the idea of sneaking around to betray them. It also surprises me that you would even fall for a man that is also in a relationship and betraying his wife.

If he will do it to her, he will do it to you. Don't you find his lack of conscience disgusting and a turn off? I suppose not, as you are both egging each other on in your lies.

Nigerian prince by any chance? Online. Or a spy undercover? On a dangerous assignment? Or a Polish count?

Seriously, how old are you?

Well you’re both cheaters so may as well give your spouses the opportunity to find people better than you and Mr Online. Then you and your new beau can live in paranoia for a while knowing that you’re both cheaters and that at some point one of you will do the same thing again.

Oh dear OP. I think forget the Internet bloke, he’s bad news.

Do think about leaving your husband. There isn’t coming back from this.

One of my friends did this years ago, "met" someone in a chat room. Her dh found out she was chatting to him. She promised to stop so he forgave her. Don't think he trusted her for a long time though. Anyway, she still met up with him for sex. He was nothing like he said he was. He was at least 15 to 20 years older than her, complete with old men's large ears with the hair sprouting 🤮 she still did the deed with him cos she "loved" him. Then he dumped her. She was distraught, telling him she'd risked her marriage for him. To this day she has no idea if he was really who he said he was or if anything he said about himself was true. It's all a big game to most men online & not worth it. Luckily her dh never found out & they're still married. She learnt her lesson the hard way.

I think the OP means the real life she has with her husband

If you aren't happy with your husband then you don't anyone else as an excuse.

Clear your decks then see if you want that other person or any other person. My bet is that it won't stack up. They won't be who you think they are, or they won't be as committed as you.

You're asking alot from this relationship to hope that it will work...will you even like each other once together...long distance one of you will have to commute at least for a period of time..and if successful a move to a different area .... and at least one of you will have to commute to see your children.

It's a lot of hurdles. It doesn't augur well.

I don’t think there’s any ‘accepting’ of the life you have if you feel this way about someone else, if your eye has wondered once, it likely will again in the future. Regardless of how long you’ve been in contact with this man or whether you’ve met up or not, betrayal has already taken place. You should communicate with your husband and decide mutually whether to work on the marriage or not. Either way there’s no going back to normal after this

You're crazy. Youve never even met him.

Could've a scam. He knows you're married. Wait for the emails asking for money cos hes struggling. Or theblacknail and if you dont pay then he will send the screenshots to your husband.

You sound very young and incrediblynaive. Of yiu are that unhappy then speak to your husband and leave him.

Not necessarily looking for someone is actually very possible.
iam an active Song pop game player and I played with a various people online and this bloke I played for few months just one day texted me that I’m hot! ( we got our profile pics) and since that we started talking…

At a guess I'd say 14.

From someone who has been cheated on don’t cheat if you want this new guy then do the right thing and leave your husband first, nobody deserves to be treated in that way we make our choices. How would you feel if this was your husband thinking of doing this

This.

It's lunacy. This isn't some guy you've met through work and it's grown into some intense passion. Not that that would be right.

But jeez have some common sense. Thus bloke is probably not who he says he is. Prob has receding hair bad breath and is crapin bed. Get a grip

Yes. As in crushes are imaginary boyfriends and what you feel is not real, so people should concentrate on their real life. Not sure what about that statement is so daft or hard to understand, thought it was pretty straightforward myself, but it takes all sorts!

Or Brad Pitt?

Morals aside, do you really think its fair to your kids to jump out of the frying pan and into the fire?

You chose to have them so your first responsibility is to do no harm.

Don't be so weak that you can't end a marriage because you're unhappy but instead need a man.

Surely, some questions must be 'not on' to ask? Like this one by OP? Have we fallen that low that it is OK to ask a question like that and to receive answers? To deliberate (v)? What questions next? Is it OK to send copies of top secret papers from my work to a hostile power? Can I euthanise my gran (she really wants to)? Whatever you do, OP, you have no moral compass and I think you should divorce your dh and leave your dc with him - if a person with your morals stays around your dc for long, what their future will be like?

Yes, like why I wasted even 0.000000000004% of my life even seeing and engaging with this thread ie beyond me tbh.