Married but want a relationship with someone else

[schoolie258]

I know I’ll get hate for this probably. I’m married but recently met someone new online. We’ve sort of fallen for each other.

he lives in a different part of the country and of course I’m married. Not necessarily happily.

do I meet up with him and see how it goes? Or just accept the fact that my life is here with my husband?

we both have kids which makes it slightly more complicated and of course we don’t live that close to each other. Is this just a fantasy or is this something that could realistically work if we really wanted it to.

has anyone been in a long distance relationship with children. How did it end or end up?

Step 1: stop texting this man
Step 2: go to therapy with your husband
Step 3: do your best to fix whatever problems you have in your marriage.

If you try steps 1-3 and you still want to cheat, then step 4: separate from your husband - move out, start divorce proceedings.

There are no shortcuts here. If your marriage is actually dead, move out before starting a new relationship. Having your cake and eating it is weak and cowardly. A decent, emotionally healthy man will wait for you to be ready - only damaged people want to be the OW/OM.

You don't meet someone online by accident. You must have been looking.

Sending each other passionate messages online is one thing but what do you think will be the reality of breaking up your family, living with this guy or not, sharing custody of your children and then blending your family with this new guy.

If you're not happy with your husband then leave him but I don't think is going to turn out the way you imagine. Have you even spent much time with him in person?

You seem to have no moral standards for yourself. Perhaps try to change that before changing anything else.

Yes, you should definitely rip your life apart for the sake of a quickie in a Premier Inn with a total stranger.

It's the stuff all the great love stories are made of. Anthony and Cleopatra, Solomon and Sheba, Romeo and Juliet, Paolo and Francesca, Nigel and Barbara meeting up for a leg over in a hotel on an industrial estate.

exactly, and when it does go wrong, just blame your husband for what you did.

If you are both married with kids, you are both being a bit cunty. If you are unhappily married, end your marriage and then start looking for someone else.

if you met someone online then you were looking so you must feel the relationship is over.

the right thing to do would be to tell your husband and give him the choice to forgive you or not. then you can either work to make your marriage happy like two adults or go your separate ways, the kids will have no benefit from unhappily married parental figures, and you'd be better of co-parenting.

With the best of intentions OP it’s probably because you haven’t had to live with this guy yet and seen how he leaves his dirty boxers on the floor or shouted at him a thousand times for leaving the toilet seat up or not putting dishes in the sink😕

However if you are genuinely unhappy do something about it.

He isn't even her friend though
He (presumably) is someone on the internet OP hasn't even met yet

Any need for the bitch?

OP, you know the answer to this deep down. Don’t be a fool. As many have done before you, you’re about to put a grenade under your life and your kids lives. Don’t fall for the seemingly shiny new object.

Talk to your husband. Stop communicating with this man. You need to get your house in order before even thinking about being in another relationship. Monkey vining from one man to the next will likely end in disaster.

Hmmm, what do you think response would be to a man asking that?

Hint - mumsnet's favourite 3 letters...

Do your husband a favour and leave him

Of course its a fantasy.

Work out what is lacking in your life/ marriage to make you fall for an online stranger, and make you feel this is actually the answer to your problems.

Either fix the marriage or end the marriage.

You are not stuck with your husband if you don't want to be. I'd take action and start separation procedures to ensure a healthy hopefully amicable break up for your children's sake ....once they are settled then seek another partner. Or is this something you can discuss with your husband about an open relationship??? I think this is fantasy and can go horribly wrong for all involved if you follow this path

Too add , either separate from your husband or work together to fix any problems. Don't get with this man from the Internet 100% fantasy

Wow you sound quite heartless. You need to talk to your husband if you aren't happy. Not just run away because youve experienced fanny tingles from reading some emails.

Its a bad idea.

You've no idea who he is really.

I'd start by separating from your husband before considering a fling with a stranger.

First thing that I thought too. I see these romance scams and think "how could anyone possibly fall for that?" Then I read stuff like this........

This is a fantasy. And the grass always looks greener on someone else's patch.

Yes you absolutely do ‘accept the fact that my life is here with my husband’
instead of trashing yours and your families lives by acting like a free prostitute for a random fella you’ve ‘met’ online.

Are you still there @schoolie258 ? You have approximately 88 replies telling you it's a daft idea and haven't posted since your OP. How many more replies are needed before you thank us for our time and make a decision?

You haven't actually met him in the flesh? I think you need to develop some maturity ...

👌just perfect

I work with someone really nice looking, who happens to be a really nice (married) guy too. If I were single would I sleep with him - ooooooooh yes. But then if he's such a nice guy he wouldn't cheat on his wife, would he? This is all academic as I could never imagine him being interested in me, but there's no harm day-dreaming ....... But that's as far as it will ever go!!! I've been cheated on in the past, its horrible.

If your marriage is over in your eyes you should ideally be brave and decent and tell your husband. It's tempting to leap into what seems like an amazing escape but it's unlikely to last if based on the fact you are that desperate to get away from your H that your vision is clouded. So it's not fair on either your H or this new guy really unless you're honest.