Calling my unborn baby they/them

[Irish24]

I am keeping the gender a surprise and the amount of people that are confused when I refer to the baby as they/them’ is starting to aggravate me. I don’t like referring to them as ‘it’ or just ‘baby’. They/them is a word and has been going around for centuries. It also is a singular pronoun and does not always mean multiple. My friends say they can’t get their head around it. I don’t understand. I know they/them is a controversial topic these days and more people are perhaps finding out the gender. I still don’t find it confusing at all and it never even occurred to me that it would be. Anyone else experienced this or am I being over dramatic here? It’s just tiresome having to constantly explain to people, I don’t know the gender so that’s why I’m calling the baby ‘them/they’

I'll hazard a guess that OP wouldn't say "I can't wait until they arrives" or "I can't wait until them arrives" either, seeing as neither make sense.

I started my own thread last year and used it over and over again it infuriated a lot of posters. I must have given them a lot of excitement that day. Overwhelmed the poor dears.

The grammar police would say different.

But they don't make sense. "I can't wait until they arrive" however is perfectly correct.

https://www.oed.com/discover/a-brief-history-of-singular-they?tl=true

The ops friends wants to know the sex that's why they don't understand her. Grammar has nothing to do with it she is trying to intellectualise foolishness.

Well as OP doesn't know the sex her friends will have to wait.

And if grammar had nothing to do with it why did you say the grammar police would argue the sentences were correct? That's what I was replying to so now I'm confused.

Yes that's the whole point of the thread it's ops friends who wants to know. I was making a bad joke that's all. The they/them had nothing to do with it they want to know the sex.

They want to know the sex so they can buy gifts according to the unborn babies sex. Op is getting flustered about it because she doesn't want to know the sex. It's as basic as that. You can't intellectualise foolishness.

Oh right, gotcha. The friends will just have to buy gender neutral gifts, or wait until baby is here then!

Like everyone used to in the days when nobody knew the sex until after the birth.

Yup! Didn't know what either of mine were until they arrived. Everyone managed, we had loads of lovely gifts. Some people thought I was odd for not finding out, but as it was my pregnancy it was my choice.

Best advice to give the op tell them to buy gender neutral clothes.

Another nice gift would be teething toys or little teddies. Young people are not very imaginative they expect it to be given to them. They want to know the sex so they can buy a gift because they have no imagination.

I didn’t know the sex of either of my babies so just referred to them as “it”. If someone referred to their unborn baby as “they/them” I’d assume they were having twins!

And yet you, in your short post, have used “they” to refer to one person!
“If someone… I’d assume they…”

Exactly. Actually all the examples posters have used to show they/them are wrong involve them using it incorrectly, such as "them has been kicking" or something equally ridiculous. It's bizarre.

Did they buy any gifts for your babies because the ops friends wants to buy her unborn baby a gift. Can you give any ideas?

None of that helps the op or her friends buying baby gifts.

Goodness. People have been buying neutral coloured baby gifts for generations. It's not hard.

I mean, any gift that isn't dependent on either a penis or vagina to operate or wear feels appropriate tbh.

That’s simply not true.

It has been demonstrated repeatedly on this thread that singular use of they is well established correct use of language.

That fundamental fact doesn’t change if I encounter ten people who do not know or understand that.

How did your friends and family get around not knowing the sex of your baby when buying gifts?

They/them is a word and has been going around for centuries.

No, it isn't. No, it hasn't.

As a separate words, yes.

It also is a singular pronoun and does not always mean multiple.

Yeah, but that's new. I mean, there's precedent. 'You' used to be only plural, but now serves as both plural and singular. But I don't think that 'they' has become that established as singular yet.

Also, if you use 'they' as singular is the verb singular too? Would you say...

There's only space for one. They is alone.

or

There's only space for one. They are alone.

What kind of gifts have to be gendered for a baby?