Calling my unborn baby they/them

[Irish24]

I am keeping the gender a surprise and the amount of people that are confused when I refer to the baby as they/them’ is starting to aggravate me. I don’t like referring to them as ‘it’ or just ‘baby’. They/them is a word and has been going around for centuries. It also is a singular pronoun and does not always mean multiple. My friends say they can’t get their head around it. I don’t understand. I know they/them is a controversial topic these days and more people are perhaps finding out the gender. I still don’t find it confusing at all and it never even occurred to me that it would be. Anyone else experienced this or am I being over dramatic here? It’s just tiresome having to constantly explain to people, I don’t know the gender so that’s why I’m calling the baby ‘them/they’

I have got no time for the use of 'they/them' in the pronoun shenanigans (am GC).

But I also didn't know the sex and used 'they' singular, and experienced the same. People it turns out are pretty thick and/or incapable of listening - from I was saying it would be easy to determine it was baby singular, but I had a lot of people shout out with an hysterical "THEY?????? IS IT TWINS?????????"

It drove me up the fucking wall.

non gender conforming people

That would be almost everyone. No one conforms to their gender stereotypes 100% of the time.

Which is the really bizarre thing about 'non binary'. Being non binary is actually the default human setting. Everyone is non binary in reality.

I know but best to say 'my baby', or 'he or she'.

It's not the feminists on FWR that are the ones so worried about pronouns that they have them on their emails and fucking socio media bios and and say 'misgendering' them is literal violence...

Mumof2girls is not saying the OP did!

The surprise is for me and my husband not for others as I’ve specifically said in the post and numerous times in this thread that I do not know the sex of the baby. Therefore im
not surprising others

Exactly! I don’t know why people keep saying you know! All to either been mean or to make a rubbish (incorrect) point about pronouns

Saying ‘he/she’ and ‘him/her’ all the time is quite clunky though. It’s not something you hear much in everyday conversation.

It’s amazing how no one is allowed to keep their private business to themselves or want a nice surprise for themselves without being called ‘precious’ or an ‘attention seeker’

Yes I know....... Adult human female.... Blah blah blah.

There's a whole board for this argument. This is a thread about a pregnant woman and how she talks about her baby. So buzz off with the FWR party line.

This! Even if you did know, it's still perfectly fine to keep it to yourselves 🤷‍♀️.

It's just the "you're not the only person in the world ever to have a baby, you know" brigade coming out in force. You're bringing a new human into the world, heaven forbid you might feel a little bit special 🙄

I used They/Them, until I had my gender scan. It’s not hard to get your head round it. It makes sense if you don’t know the sex. It’s much better than calling baby “It”.

Fucks sake. Why this thread ever turned into anything to do with trans people I have no idea. Singular 'they' has been around for aeons. Over keen anti-woke folk (I am GC FWIW) jumping on a grammar thread and getting it very wrong. Really doesn't help the cause, you all just look thick 😂

Why did you say “ they are being over it”?

Why not say “ the Op is being over it”?

Your use of they seems unnecessary and confusing.

Basic reality is not just confined to one board, no matter how much you want to run away from reality or being made to actually think about something that makes you feel uncomfortable. Sorry that you feel the need to avoid reality and want it secluded elsewhere so you don't have to think. But since life is all about reality and sexual politics, to expect it not to pop up in general issues is simply not realistic.

This thread has NOTHING to do with this though. It is about the grammatically correct usage of ‘they’ about a person of unknown sex.
On this occasion it isn’t that deep. The constant harping and derailing isn’t a good look.

Edit: to correct a typo. Just finished a run!

It has to mean the OP is more than one person or that poster is of these blue haired woke weirdos, or maybe it’s both and they’re 3 penguins stood on each others shoulders under a mac.

Because obviously it won’t be that they’re just using the English language correctly.

But you do actually understand that another, very very long-established, use of ‘they’, is to reference one person? Right?

Just listen to people talking in daily life and it will definitely come up. Then come back and apologise for being so off topic on this thread

Someone else brought up 'gender woo', I was responding to that poster's comments. So I have nothing to apologise for.

It doesn't make me remotely uncomfortable. I find the FWR vitriol repulsive. Many of us hide the board because we don't want to see it.

Again. This has nothing to do with your gender wart hat you are desperately trying to shoe horn in here. This is a thread about a pregnant woman and her baby and grammar and the fact that people are too thick to understand basic grammar.

The fact that MN posters get their knickers in twist over anything to do with pronouns to the point you and many others are literally banging on about trans people and gender critical bullshit on a pregnancy and grammar thread says everything about them/you and nothing about the rest of us being uncomfortable with the truth.

Yes, I'm aware there are a lot of people that hate the idea of women having basic human rights and can't bare to read feminist information.

See that's the problem with your lot, they read one basic sentence and extrapolate it to something extreme that no one meant.

I hate the vitriol spewed on the FWR board and don't want to see rampant transphobia = hating women having basic human rights

It's so pathetic people can't even take it seriously, all we can do is laugh. It's too stupid to even get worked up about because there's no point having a debate with people who can't comprehend basic sentences. Even an idiot can see those two sentences aren't remotely the same. Have a day off!

Touché!

So women having basic human rights, fair sport, and rape survivors like me having safe single sex facilities is now 'transphobia', is it? Have you ever stopped to consider your internalised misogyny? Isn't it convenient that men can now violate our spaces and instead of being called 'manhaters', we are now 'transphobes'. Interesting how convenient that change of narrative works in their favour.

I can see how you might think they/them was ok but it is a bit jarring to my ear

we referred to our unborn child as “the bean” or he; in the first instance I was convinced he was a he and in the second we found out fairly early on that he was a he.