Calling my unborn baby they/them

[Irish24]

I am keeping the gender a surprise and the amount of people that are confused when I refer to the baby as they/them’ is starting to aggravate me. I don’t like referring to them as ‘it’ or just ‘baby’. They/them is a word and has been going around for centuries. It also is a singular pronoun and does not always mean multiple. My friends say they can’t get their head around it. I don’t understand. I know they/them is a controversial topic these days and more people are perhaps finding out the gender. I still don’t find it confusing at all and it never even occurred to me that it would be. Anyone else experienced this or am I being over dramatic here? It’s just tiresome having to constantly explain to people, I don’t know the gender so that’s why I’m calling the baby ‘them/they’

Yeah, I'd probably drop in the odd 'they' if I were having a conversation where we had to keep on referring to the baby. But only in the context of also using 'he or she', or it, because I actually don't and didn't have any issues with saying 'it' about the baby I was carrying, before I found out he was a he. What I'm saying is that ONLY saying 'they or them' is a bit loopy.

Not trying to be hilarious, but I'm so glad I've lightened your day!

In those cases no-one knows the sex of the person they are referring to. If they knew the sex of the judge they would use ‘ she or he’ not they

As others have said, people will think you mean twins. I didn't know sex either time and think I just said 'baby'.
You do you though, there's nothing wrong with using those pronouns if you want to, but expect people to be confused re the twins thing.

To be fair, most people are confused by how magnets work or what makes a plane stay up in the air. Most people should be open to being educated and being told they are, in fact, quite wrong and quite ignorant.

Sorry the sex of the neighbour not ‘the judge’

That’s hilarious exactly because the OP does not know the sex of her baby. So you have, in fact, agreed with me then. It is normal and appropriate for the OP to use they/them in discussion of her baby because she does not yet know their sex.

If you don’t like using baby (I found it a bit twee), choose another word, Bump or It.

I used to refer to mine as Alien and Alien 2 (as they were both c-section babies I wasn’t too far off the mark).

I bet you are putting emphasis on the they because it’s such a big deal to you and that’s why people are reacting the way they do. Or you’re imagining it.

Exactly! So an unborn baby of as yet unknown sex can also be referred to as they

Do you genuinely never have conversations that develop, or hear other info from others relating to said conversations, therefore changing what you might think?

I think that's quite unusual tbh

You could equally say ‘she’ll have one ‘ or ‘ he will …’ because you know what sex they are. They in this instance is only used because you don’t want to disclose their sex or because they don’t accept their sex for what it actually is.

But OP doesn't know the sex of her baby. So 'they' is perfectly fine for her to use as well.

Well in the case of the judge or the neighbour or the person fixing the printer we know it’s one person singular. But if you use they in the context of a pregnancy, it has immediately and quite logically raised the possibility of more than one babby - which is what the OP is objecting to.

OP making a huge fuss about nothing.

See my answer below. Quite clearly it is causing confusion and OP isn’t happy about that . But it is what it is. Language is a funny fish

Above not below.

Well she may think so but clearly it causes confusion because we know there is only one judge etc but there can be more than one babby.

Not the ‘Gotcha’ you were whooping about!

People who get het up about using "they" as a singular pronoun are either bigoted or thick. Or both.

A fair response. You’re being a bit less ridiculous now 😂😉

She’s not made a fuss about that has she? She just acknowledged in her first post that they/them could mean more than one baby but that it’s not weird/incorrect when there’s just one baby.

But are sex and gender not two different things now? Sex meaning whether you are female or male, and gender meaning...something else..?

Some of these comments are bananas!

Op I didn't find out the gender of my baby either and I used a mix of baby or they/ them. Noone was confused. Everyone knew what I meant, no knickers or boxers were in a twist.

If anyone is being this irate about it, I'd say it's either because alternative gender pronouns have become a major point of conflict or because they're irritated you are keeping it a surprise.

I personally found overuse of baby multiple times in a sentence tiresome as its not how anyone normally speaks about other people in a sentence. Names are only usually stated once or twice in a sentence before we move to he/she otherwise it sounds overly repetitive/ robotic. In this instance they/ them is completely appropriate.

Wait - you'd use "they" for your baby? Clearly you support "gender woo woo".

Tbf everyone I know who didn’t know the gender yet or didn’t want to find out called the baby, either baby or bump. I’d probably ask if it was twins if someone said them.

How many times does it have to be repeated! Both the OP and many other posters have said that the baby's sex is UNKNOWN. The OP does NOT know the sex of her baby. I don't know if this type of repeated bullshit is the standard level of comprehension these days or wilful and goady twatism.

Haven't RTFT, just OP's posts.

I didn't like saying "the baby" all the time either. Dunno why. Felt a bit impersonal maybe? Anyway we just gave ours nicknames. First baby was "Pam", chosen by by my nephew. Second baby was "Bob", chosen by first baby.