Calling my unborn baby they/them

[Irish24]

I am keeping the gender a surprise and the amount of people that are confused when I refer to the baby as they/them’ is starting to aggravate me. I don’t like referring to them as ‘it’ or just ‘baby’. They/them is a word and has been going around for centuries. It also is a singular pronoun and does not always mean multiple. My friends say they can’t get their head around it. I don’t understand. I know they/them is a controversial topic these days and more people are perhaps finding out the gender. I still don’t find it confusing at all and it never even occurred to me that it would be. Anyone else experienced this or am I being over dramatic here? It’s just tiresome having to constantly explain to people, I don’t know the gender so that’s why I’m calling the baby ‘them/they’

So using grammatically correct language is attention seeking? My god what is the world coming to. 🤦‍♀️

No-one (apart from you and possible your parents) cares that much what sex your baby is, to be honest. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I think that poster you quoted was defending you @Irish24 I could be wrong.

People are stupid OP. You are absolutely correct.

Everyone understands they as a singular pronoun when you don’t know or want to announce someone’s gender. It is not a new thing, it is not a trans specific thing.

Why do they keep banging on at her to say 'he' or 'she' then?

I didn't know that using the English language in the correct context ie "baby" and "it", are considered 'cutesy nicknames. What was it about not enough facepalms again?

I don’t see anything wrong with using them/they. You’re correct, it’s a singular as well as plural pronoun. Though I guess some people may wonder is you’re having a multiple pregnancy.

I have three DC and didn’t find out the gender of any of them until they were born, as nature intended. I don’t recall needing to use a pronoun for them. I referred to them as ‘the baby’ and the eldest DC referred to them as ‘new baby’.

I also know two people who were told the wrong gender and were quite badly affected. They’d imagined a whole life for the boy they thought they were expecting and it turned out to be a girl. They’d also spent a fortune on the ‘wrong colour’ 🙄 items.

The only one making it complicated is you

I am guessing you have found out the sex (gender reveal is bullshit as it conflates sex with gender) or are simply making a song and dance about not finding out and it's driving everyone else nuts.

I didn't find out what the sex of my baby. It wasn't a big deal. I did not dictate what pronouns other people used. I wasn't precious about what pronouns I used.

I'm guessing you are literally saying they/them and asking others to rather than just naturally talking about the baby. Which is the problem and tedious in the extreme.

This used to wind me up too, mainly because people I’m really close to would go ‘They?? Is it twins??’ either like they were trying to catch me out on a big ruse or as though it might have slipped my mind to mention it, despite my completely appropriately sized bump.

Weird and attention seeking for using grammatically correct language??

No. Making a big thing of ‘ we know the sex of our baby but we aren’t telling YOU”. That’s the attention seeking. No-one cares. Why would they? Whichever sex it is they are going to say ‘ oh how lovely’.

WTAF? 😂

I think the people who claim to be 'confused' have their own axe to grind.

Some answers on here are peak batshit! 😆

They/them is fine.

So is baby/it.

Careful OP, you are running the risk of isolating yourself from your support system.

Exactly.

You asked if it were reasonable to do something you know that is very unusual. Usually people who use they/them do so out of a need for attention and a belief in Gender Ideology. The same people that put 'she/her' or 'he/him' or 'she/they' in their social media bios. They/them is "non binary".

The OP has already said multiple times now she doesn’t know what she’s having.

It’s no coincidence that the posters on this thread with difficulty reading the thread are also those “confused” about the correct use of language.

Who is banging on, in the real world?

Good job OP doesn’t know the sex either then isn’t it!

OP has said that she hasn't found out what the baby's gender so she isn't being annoying by not telling them. She doesn't know it herself as she wants it to be a surprise.

I don’t know the gender as I’ve said at least 10 times on this thread. Therefore it’s hardly attention seeking when you don’t know the facts. Also if I did know and decided not to say to anyone then that is my choice to do so whether people like it or not. It’s not attention seeking

What both those posts say.

There are other options open to you. The terms that we all used back then, and that your own mother will have used (unless your mum was in the first tranche of mums who got to know what they were having in advance).

But you're consciously choosing to use words that can cause confusion because of the possible plurality, and because some stupid people link them to trans issues. I don't know why you're wedded to doing that, and then complaining that people are confused.

Are you using they and them correctly? Well yes. Are they the best/only terms you can use? No. So why set yourself up for frustration?

Is "baby" not grammatically correct language?

I simply don’t believe people who claim to have never heard of the singular form of they. It’s absolutely standard English and has been for hundreds of years.

Do people really not understand ‘Someone has left their laptop at reception’ or ‘Someone must still be in the office. They left the lights on’?