Calling my unborn baby they/them

[Irish24]

I am keeping the gender a surprise and the amount of people that are confused when I refer to the baby as they/them’ is starting to aggravate me. I don’t like referring to them as ‘it’ or just ‘baby’. They/them is a word and has been going around for centuries. It also is a singular pronoun and does not always mean multiple. My friends say they can’t get their head around it. I don’t understand. I know they/them is a controversial topic these days and more people are perhaps finding out the gender. I still don’t find it confusing at all and it never even occurred to me that it would be. Anyone else experienced this or am I being over dramatic here? It’s just tiresome having to constantly explain to people, I don’t know the gender so that’s why I’m calling the baby ‘them/they’

The pronoun police have been out in force this morning fuck me I didn't realise they were quite this batshit though the poor woman is just referring to her unborn baby 😂😂

They/them sends people batshit. Triggered, you could say.

Of course you can use they/them in this context. It's a non-issue and anyone who objects is either thick or has been sent unhinged by the political discourse.

Your OP was a little ambiguous. "I am keeping the gender [sex] a surprise" suggests that you know and you are keeping the secret.

Which is kind of ironic on a post all about correct grammar.

Why is this even an issue?

You and anyone can call the baby anything you like

baby
sprog
it
they
them

I didn’t know the sex of any of my babies, they were called peanut, half pint and twinkle, they are now 30, 28 26 years old and are still called it sometimes by close family.

they / them yes I would assume twins but I understand what you are saying and your reasons. But to stop confusion why not just something like apple or spud

I'm guessing you are literally saying they/them and asking others to rather than just naturally talking about the baby. Which is the problem and tedious in the extreme.

Yes that is what I sense too, given how dramatic they are being over it, hence my attention-seeking point. And it is easier to say "baby" or "it", it flows easier. It's more work imo to have to say they/them.

Because that’s absolutely bloody cringeworthy.

That’s not what the word ‘precious’ means in the context that they used it. It means’ you sound a bit up yourself’

They/them is absolutely the ungendered (in the latinate, grammatical sense of meaning for which ‘gender’ was used until the 1950s) singular pronoun form for use where the sex of the sentence subject (ie a person) is either not known or being shielded.

Anyone nitpicking at it is both ignorant and uneducated… and they are simply being a dick (derived from the latinate, Monty Pythonesque term, ‘Biggus Dickus)’ if they not accept a correction to their misunderstanding,

ETA, prinouns are usually used to refer back to a previously stated noun - ie ‘My BABY is due in three months. We cannot wait to meet them’. No reason whatsoever as to why anyone would misconstrue this as referring to twins.

We didn't use Norse and old English in this country anymore. I speak as a proud pedantic,who cannot abide the use of "hoovering" meaning to vacuum.

It's sex. Not 'gender'. So you mean to say you don't know the sex of the baby.

Or, should I say, since you seem to not like the grammatically correct term "baby", you don't know the sex of "They/Them".

If you read what I actually said then I said we are keeping the gender of the baby a surprise. Therefore that means I do not know the gender and therefore I will not be telling anyone???

You're not keeping it as a surprise.

What you meant was it's going to be a surprise FOR YOU (and everyone) because you don't know it yet.

Keeping it 'as a surprise' means you know and are keeping it secret.

Do people have sex reveals for their baby?

Why did you post this in the middle of the night?

I’ve enjoyed reading some of the comments here to be honest 🤣🤣🤣🤣

No but using ‘they/them’ clearly is attention seeking. Because you immediately get people’s attention ‘ oooh is it twins?’.

isn’t that why you keep doing it, really?

The level of stupidity on here is astounding. They/them as a singular pronoun is fine and has been for centuries.

“I know when I like a person directly I see them!" Virginia Woolf

“‘A person can’t help their birth’, Rosalind replied with great liberality” William Makepeace Thackery

“There's not a man I meet but doth salute me/As if I were their well-acquainted friend” Shakespeare

People are so up their own arse and confident in their incorrectness.

So using they/them is attention seeking but calling your baby twinkle, apple, peanut or jellybean is absolutely fine?

got it.

You're not being unreasonable, it makes perfect sense. Some people can't speak English very well.

I think this may be the most gaslighting I’ve ever seen on Mumsnet 😂 people actually adamant that ‘they’ has never ever been used to refer to a singular person until trans issues arose. I’m honestly flabbergasted, I don’t believe people think this way.

I sincerely hope this is a piss take and you're not being serious. Although hard to know these days.

I've always used they/them if I don't know the sex of the person or animal I'm referring to (it being for inanimate objects, plants and insects.) I wouldn't call a baby it. Pretty sure I referred to mine as they/them before I found out his sex. My friend used it which I hated.

How can anyone reveal the ‘gender’ of anyone else, esp before birth? Only the person, once sufficiently mature, knows their own gender and can choose to reveal it.

Do I have eyesight problems here or did I just say I don’t know the gender myself? I’ve already explained what I meant but it seems like I really need to repeat myself to a lot of people

Yes, they do. Even if they refer to it by the wrong term.

We only ever used ‘they’ when we didn’t know the sex of the person. Now it’s used when the sex of the person is clearly known. That’s the difference.