To be creeped out by people who make a huge deal out of celebrity deaths?

[TealDreamer]

I don’t mean the normal “Oh, that’s sad” reaction when a famous person dies - I mean the people who act like they’ve lost a close family member. The ones who post long, emotional tributes, talk about how “devastated” they are and make the whole thing about them.

It just feels… off. Like they’re using someone else’s deaths to fill a gap in their own lives, feeding off the drama in a way that seems performative. I get feeling sad about someone whose work you admired but the extreme reactions just feel weird and attention-seeking.

AIBU to think this is creepy?

I still cry now sometimes when l listen to George Michael. 😪

Not creepy more weird and a bit pathetic in my opinion. I always think they can’t have lost anyone they loved in real life.
My grandad was fairly well known in our local area (think along the lines of ex local councillor) and the number of people who told us, his actual family who really knew and loved him, how upset they were! It was really insensitive - so I always think these celebrities have families and friends who are really grieving for them and must find the public attention upsetting at times

I expect they were trying to be kind @maw1681 and were probably genuinely upset - not on a par with your family obviously, but I doubt they said or implied that.

My grandad was a popular local 'character' and people said similar to us - I took it on face value.

How is that insensitive? I think that's lovely that they thought so much of your Grandad .

I've only ever felt really moved by two - John Smith and Gary Moore. Both people I admired in different ways, but I don't know why I reacted to them more than other people who meant about the same to me when they were alive. I found the hysteria over Diana difficult to deal with because it felt like there was some pressure to fake feeling something. Nowadays there are lots of people saying they weren't much affected, but I don't know where they all were at the time.

I think at the time many people felt awkward about not being 'in step' with what seemed to be the public mood @EmotionallyWeird and so didn't want to speak out and potentially appear insensitive.

My side of the family aren't particularly pro-Royal, but DP's side are, but neither side were 'hysterical' over it and found the intensity a bit odd - obviously they weren't totally indifferent.

I remember being in a town (possibly Godalming) about two weeks after Diana's death when a grave woman with a very sad expression approached me holding a bunch of flowers and rather earnestly and breathlessly asked me where the memorial was. I said I had no idea and she went off looking disgusted. I was with my best friend at the time and we asked each other whether the World had gone a bit bonkers.

“Saw her every day on money & stamps” - that’s hilarious 🤣

I didn't cry but I did find the deaths of Doddie Weir and Rob Burrows really sad. What those two did for MND was exceptional. And what a cruel disease.

I cried when Kurt Cobain died but I was 16 (it affected me quite a bit).

I can't watch any film with River Phoenix in without a hint of sadness as he had so much talent and went way too young.

But I find the public outpourings of grief ott.

I remember being a little more affected by Robin Williams’ death as it was so close to a friend’s very suicide but I didn’t cry. He was such a funny guy and it struck me how we really don’t know what’s going on inside a person’s mind a lot of the time. So I’d say it made me think a lot and did sadden me.

Very shocking*

The Queen dying was weird for me because my Dad died three days later. There wasn’t the crazed hysteria that there had been around Diana but quite a few people made a fuss about people not “showing proper respect”.

What was weird was that a few shops (mainly estate agents near me) kept up the black portrait of the Queen in the window for weeks afterwards - even when her family were back to normal Royal duties.

Re Diana's death. Yeah, I believe most of the hysteria was fake and people felt they had to go with the flow. I didn't but accused of being unsympathetic. I am not going to be dictated by anyone who I mourn or not.

I was wondering how to express what I saw when Diana died. Performative grief is a good way to put it, I think it can also be competitive.

I wasn't a Diana fan, but when her children went to see the flowers it was like a competition to get one of them to take the flowers from a 'mourner' to put them down.

I thought that was awful.

I think there is a difference between mourning someone who has made a real difference to your life due to their artistry (such as David Bowie, Meatloaf, Freddy Mercury, who provided a large proportion of the soundtrack to my life from early adolescence onwards, and whose music instantly takes me back to times and places from my past) and someone who you have heard about only because the papers have devoted millions of column inches to them (Princess Diana, people like the Kardashians Etc. who are famous for being famous).
The first example, I believe, just seems more authentic to me than the second - I remember the day of Princess Diana’s funeral, and being astonished at the number of people (most of whom couldn’t possibly have ever met her, or been personally affected by her actions while she was alive) who were doing their best “sackcloth and ashes” performative grieving that would have seemed over the top even if she had been related to them. It was as if people felt that they had to join in - hive mentality - while I don’t recall anything like the same type of reaction for Bowie, Freddy or Meatloaf when they passed away…

Diana's death was awful the newspapers went from virtually calling her a slut to a saint overnight they whipped up a frenzy of epic proportion at one point I thought the people would tear those children apart it was mania fueled by the press

The whole Diana thing was absolute insanity. The shameless competitive public grief was disturbing.

I was sad when David Bowie died. It felt like the end of an era.

I was quite sad and nostalgic yesterday when Richard Chamberlain floated off to that great big puffy champagne cloud in the sky.

One of my first crushes. I remember 6 year old me angrily demanding to know of my father why HE couldn’t be as handsome as Dr Kildare. I regarded this as a moral failing. Will need to go watch lots of reruns of the show now to see if he still stands up so well now I’m in my 40s. 😍

When you look at all the people struggling with their real life relationships it doesn't surprise me that some will transfer that need to a celebrity. I mean it's easy to follow one, know lots of detail and follow what they're getting up to on social media. Compare that with that old friend who can't be bothered with you more than once a year it's far more fulfilling.

I don't think that the grief displays are a good thing though.

This.

Competitive mourning. More grief shown than if a relative, very odd.

Caroline Flack, she was rightly investigated for assault on her partner whom needed treatment for an injury to his head. She had many problems. If a man had potentially hit his partner around thd head? The mourning was ott

People need to start to start admitting that they went OTT with Diana or was a sheep

On reading the OP I agreed until I remembered how saddened I was by the loss of Alan Rickman and Victoria Wood. They were both relatively young and we lost a lot of talent. Maybe OP means OTT media coverage and social media ‘tears’

Perhaps but at the time it was extremely shocking. People couldn’t believe it had happened.

@XxSideshowAuntSallyx the tribute for Rob Burrow that was shown when he passed was beautifully done.

Paula Yates, George Michael, Amy Winehouse, Kurt Cobain, Taylor Hawkins and Matthew Perry are the ones that struck me most, probably just because they were sudden, and people whose work I liked.

Did he?
Was that a sign of MJs guilt ot innocence?!

It was just so embarrassing.
Woman killed in car crash.
Happens every day, sadly.