To be creeped out by people who make a huge deal out of celebrity deaths?

[TealDreamer]

I don’t mean the normal “Oh, that’s sad” reaction when a famous person dies - I mean the people who act like they’ve lost a close family member. The ones who post long, emotional tributes, talk about how “devastated” they are and make the whole thing about them.

It just feels… off. Like they’re using someone else’s deaths to fill a gap in their own lives, feeding off the drama in a way that seems performative. I get feeling sad about someone whose work you admired but the extreme reactions just feel weird and attention-seeking.

AIBU to think this is creepy?

And Terry Pratchett, his last book came out around the time my dad died. The loss of a fiction character I had loved since I was 11 was so incredibly helpful in processing my grief.

I haven't and don't plan to finish reading Snuff though. I will not finish the series.

I did laugh a few times NGL!

When liam payne died I thought oh that's very sad, because now his son will grow up without a father.
But there were people buying Christmas baubles with his face on to feel close to him.. I seen a post about it and commented that's a bit weird

For me it mostly seems disingenuous. And often it seems like a race to announce it on your own socials as soon as possible. I get that it's sad when someone you genuinely loved and admired dies. But I rarely think that is when people post. It's just when it's someone they've heard of.

Agree, you hear about it and you are sad, that’s it.

I always wonder how these people operate when someone they reallly know and care about dies, it must be horrendous for them. Is it a trauma response the overreaction to a celeb death ie something missing? I think about my dad who couldn’t show affection to his family but could to the dog, a kind of safe space?

I can understand when you follow someone, it feels like you know them so it can feel somewhat like losing a friend. I had been following someone and they had talked about their pregnancy struggles and when they had their baby, I felt like my friend had a baby. It was a weird feeling.

But I also think that people should understand they don't actually know them and it isn't the same as losing a friend. And I do find it weird when it goes on for a long time and then they go on as if they knee them and tell how so and so would be proud of their child etc.

But that just proves the point. The Matthew Perry you’re grieving for never existed. The Matthew Perry people mourn essentially died when friends was canned.

It’s incredibly sad that someone as talented as Robin Williams felt the need to end his own life. But it’s sad for him and his family. Not because of the characters he played who already didn’t exist any more other than in the films they appeared in.

It's sad and I was a bit upset by some of the deaths but it's the performative grief that does my head in. All that be kind after Caroline Flack. My ex neighbour was all about that and she was the most vile person to everyone.

It's like they've replaced all the gods and emperors.

Yes, Liam Payne dying did upset me a bit .. He was so young, and I also knew him by association. My DC had friends about a decade ago (at college) who went to school with him. So he felt 'familiar' and was a 'local' lad. And he was so young, and so troubled, and struggled with his mental health, and seemed so lonely and sad at the end. And yes to how sad it is that Bear is growing up without a father, and will find out eventually that he died in tragic circumstances. Very sad. 😢

Urgh that's so mawkish and grim.

That's it. The performative grief. That's what's annoying. Not sure why people do it, but it's really irksome!

@TorroFerney

I always wonder how these people operate when someone they reallly know and care about dies, it must be horrendous for them. Is it a trauma response the overreaction to a celeb death ie something missing? I think about my dad who couldn’t show affection to his family but could to the dog, a kind of safe space?

I suspect a lot of these people really struggle with interpersonal relationships and don't know how to express human emotions in a healthy way.

We saw that on a national scale with Princess Diana (as the papers never ceased to tell us at the time), the catharsis of grief and projection bla bla bla ad nauseam. At risk of sounding like a cut-price shrink if you project so much importance onto someone you've never met and about whom you actually know very little, it tends to suggest you're channeling unresolved emotions about people you do know but can't process.

Exactly my first thought. It was so unexpected and we were big fans of her work. I still feel a little sad that there will be no more of her comedy.

So you didn't actually know him then? Did you?

Your children had friends who knew him from school?

OK then 🙄

The first time I ever saw people carry on like that was when Diana died, it was absolutely ridiculous. Fair enough to be a bit sad about a celebrity you admire dying, but to openly weep and wail and make a big scene - well, I felt the country had gone insane.

I cried a lot when Marc Bolan died, but I was six. Very sad about Bowie, Lemmy and Johnny Cash, but it didn’t disrupt my life in any way. I didn’t know them and they didn’t know me.

Other than when Diana died and the whole country went loopy I can't understand it either OP.

My sister spent the day after Michael Jackson died listening to his music.

When I mentioned that I didn't know she was a fan or owned any of his records, she had gone out that day and bought them.

Then spent the day listening to them and crying.

I kind of agree though I find the morbid posting on social media the most unsettling bit. I was really upset at certain celebrity deaths - Matthew Perry, Sean Lock - but I realise I can't be sincerely mourning them as I didn't know them at all. I think it's a mix at sadness at their passing but also a sort of mourning of a chapter in your own life closing - Friends was a massive part of my adolescence and it felt eternal when I was young, so Matthew Perry dying was like a symbol of my own sense of mortality and how life can turn out smaller then you hoped? I loved Chandler as a character and it's weird to think the actor died in such an awful way.

A few deaths have been by their nature very shocking and premature (notably Lennon and Diana for me) and I think some of the reaction is often down to that shock.

There are a celebrities in most peoples lives who have been significant to them for a long time, sometimes because their work was part of the fabric of their teens and feeling sad that they've died seems normal. For me it was Bowie, heightened by the fact it was out of the blue as he'd managed to keep his last illness secret (and good for him for doing things on his own terms)

However a few private tears is a very different thing to the sort of performative attention seeking that unfortunately social media seems to encourage and amplify.

When Bowie died I was upset but I kept it to myself.

When Maya Angelou died, I felt the same.

When Debbie Harry and Dolly Parton die, I will be upset. Definitely. But won't broadcast it.

It's personal reactions. Let people have their own personal responses.

I agree, but in general I don’t get the obsession with celebrities.

Same here. Dolly and Debbie are absolute fucking QUEENS! 😍

I got surprisingly emotional over Bill Turnbull, the BBC breakfast news presenter. He got me through the early relentless mornings when my newborn fed for about 3 hours, I would just switch on TV and he'd be there, calm, relatable and a sense of humour. I suppose i felt he helped me get through that tough period.

Oh and George Michael. I will never get over him . That voice. All the stories that have come out about him. 12 year old me in 1985 was going to marry him.

The reaction when Diana died was insane and massively OTT. I remember thinking at the time people were just performing for the cameras. Nowadays you can take that mentality and perform for your followers on social media.

As a child, seeing the public reaction to Diana’s death was the first time I realised adults could be just as ridiculous as children. It was a real eye opener

You may see it that way, I do not.