To be creeped out by people who make a huge deal out of celebrity deaths?

[TealDreamer]

I don’t mean the normal “Oh, that’s sad” reaction when a famous person dies - I mean the people who act like they’ve lost a close family member. The ones who post long, emotional tributes, talk about how “devastated” they are and make the whole thing about them.

It just feels… off. Like they’re using someone else’s deaths to fill a gap in their own lives, feeding off the drama in a way that seems performative. I get feeling sad about someone whose work you admired but the extreme reactions just feel weird and attention-seeking.

AIBU to think this is creepy?

The two news worthy moments I remember where/when/how I found out most clearly are Diana's death and Thatcher resigning. I always thought Diana was a bit of a narcissist though so wasn't particularly upset. I can't imagine getting upset beyond 'oh that's a shame' about any famous person I don't know dying though.

@BadLad
I think that started the trend

What trend? People getting upset at the death of a celebrity?

I was sad when Matthew Perry died. He was so funny on friends, but in his private life he was very unhappy, same with Robin Williams. I wasn't crying or anything like that though.

Performative grieving when ANYONE dies is fucking weird. I do understand feeling very sad when a celeb dies though - most recently I felt extremely moved when Matthew Perry died. Surprisingly so! I didn’t weep and wail in public though. But I wouldn’t do that if my husband died, either. I would feel sad and manage my emotions in private/with close family and friends.

I can’t bear people who gush and post about dead people for likes on SM. I particularly hate it when the contestants on strictly do the ‘dead Nanna’ contemporary wafting about with bare feet during their couple’s choice. Performative grief never ever moves me. I felt like I was losing my marbles during the 10 days of enforced mourning when the queen died. Hate hate hate.

I also did cry when Victoria Wood died as she was part of the language between me and my mum. So it felt closer to us somehow. My mum had Alzheimer's and wasn't always sure who I was until I said "Who's been telling you about guttering?" then her face would be wreathed in smiles of joy because the confusion was gone and she knew it was me. No other celebrity deaths have affected me like that though.

There has been lots of mentions of Diana's death and the intense public reaction - which there was. Just for balance, I remember at the time there were a lot of people (me included) who were quite baffled at this intensity. Obviously it was a shock and sad that a young woman, public figure and mother of two children had died - that wasn't lost on us, but some of the OTT reaction made me feel I'd stepped into another dimension

I think it depends. I had a little cry when George Michael died, and I was pretty devastated when Luke Perry and Shannon Doherty died. I never posted anything on socials, though. I think grief, however connected or unconnected to the person you are, should be private and has no place on social media.

I was very upset when George Michael died. One, because I was a huge fan and he died young and thats sad- but also, because I grew up listening to him with my mum, we would watch his videos together, went to see him in concert together etc. My mum and I don't see eye to eye on a lot of things, but he was a link between us. He was also nearer her age than mine- and him dying just really made me think about my relationship with my mum as well as her mortality. Sometimes it's about more than 'just' the person dying.

I am kind of glad that her death wasn't at a time when SM was about.

Some people did go rather OTT. It makes scared that I am 7 years older than her now when she died.

You are a spring chicken then @jbf19 ❤

I was upset when Chester Bennington died. His music was a massive part of my teenage years and definitely influenced me so I don't feel weird or ashamed that it upset me when the news first broke even though I was late 20s when he died. I was sad when Alan Rickman and David Bowie died, George Michael too. Admittedly I do find being upset to the point of calling off work etc a bit odd but I don't judge as celebrities put so much of themselves out there, and some people may get attached to the person they think the celebrity is.

... and marmite to line the route of the coffin when Jade Goody died because, she was like marmite, love or hate it/her. So stupid and wasteful.

Some people just have no brakes when it comes to being attention-seeking.

It depends who it is. If it's just a random celeb that you're not arsed about and you're going on about it for attention then yes I agree. However I have a thing for an actor and I absolutely adore him and have had a crush on him for years. If he died I'd find it hard to come to terms with and I know for a fact I'd be extremely upset. I'm sensible and realise it doesn't compare to how I'd feel about family members. But I'd still be valid in feeling sad.

Chester Bennington hit my DC badly too. And Chris Cornell from Soundgarden. And Amy Winehouse, Liam Payne, Paul Cattermole (from S Club,) and several other celebs around their age/who they grew up with. (They were born 1990s.) My DC burst out crying when Cory Monteith and Naya Rivera (from Glee) died too, and both were shocked when Peaches Geldof died .

One thing when some celebrity dies, always get someone who replies ‘who?’ If they never heard of them.

keep your ignorance from those posts please

That is batshit. Even moreso given he was a paedophile.

I lot of these people are attention seekers, revelling in grief by proxy, over people they didn’t know. And then throwing themselves in front of media cameras. 🙄

I think milestone celebrity deaths are coming around so frequently they’re becoming meaningless.
Where were you when Kennedy/John Lennon/Diana died? The Twin Towers were hit?
Most people can answer.
It would need to be someone very important for us all to stop in our tracks today.

And mournful tributes about people dying of old age just show the stagnation of show business IMO. Gene Hackman’s death (and his wife and his dog) was sad but no need for a film festival!

I’ve had a long-standing obsession with Jeremy Irons but he too will shuffle off this mortal coil with maybe a wistful smile from me when I hear the news.

I can honestly say the most saddened I’ve been recently was by the vandalism at Sycamore Gap.

Does it matter though? Ignore them if you don't want to answer maybe? I've often not known who the person is but get the gist from the thread if I've joined it later on.

Sometimes the 'Who are they?' question elicits some really poignant responses from some posters about what that person was famous for and what they meant to them.

I cried when she died too, and I’m not even from the UK. To me, it represented the death of that generation that were adults during WWII and valued duty and sacrifice. That, and because no matter what chaos was going on in the world, she always came across as so calm and made me feel like there was at least one “adult in the room.”

I have felt sadness when certain famous people died, not enough to post more than maybe a remark or two on somewhere like Mumsnet (I'm not really on other social media spaces.)

With one exception.
And that is Terry Pratchett.
Reading his remarkable books over the years opened up a a world of characters and scenarios that we came to know well, and to love. They also told us a great deal about his character and views.
The wise, sometimes warm, sometimes irascible, authorial voice was like that of an old friend.
And I do grieve the loss.

(Additionally, I met him frequently over the years at conventions, so maybe not completely unknown to me - he may even have vaguely remembered me)

I would never ever post about it on social media, but I have secretly cried over celebrity deaths before now. I don’t think I was being shallow (as someone upthread suggested). Sometimes they are shockingly young, or you’re thinking about the family they’ve left behind, or even just the fact that they’re not going to put anymore work out.

I cried when Elizabeth II died. My parents who were born in ‘48 (a month older than Charles) and ‘50 (DM was born 5 days before Princess Anne) have zero memory of George VI.

It felt weird on the first time the Royal Family went on the Palace balcony and Queen Elizabeth wasn’t there. Before that, every single time there was a BP balcony scene, she was always there