To be creeped out by people who make a huge deal out of celebrity deaths?

[TealDreamer]

I don’t mean the normal “Oh, that’s sad” reaction when a famous person dies - I mean the people who act like they’ve lost a close family member. The ones who post long, emotional tributes, talk about how “devastated” they are and make the whole thing about them.

It just feels… off. Like they’re using someone else’s deaths to fill a gap in their own lives, feeding off the drama in a way that seems performative. I get feeling sad about someone whose work you admired but the extreme reactions just feel weird and attention-seeking.

AIBU to think this is creepy?

YANBU

And people who are over invested in celebrities on general are just a little odd. But there is a whole industry thriving off it (Hello, Ok magazine, reality TV etc), so it isn’t unusual.

What do you mean "a mother of two young children whom she adopted"? She gave birth to them.

Ah seen your update. Sorry.

Anyone's death might be desperately sad but there's no excuse for the people who wait in the wings, practically frothing at the mouth to make it about them, tripping over themselves to write a status on Facebook either announcing it or weeping and wailing about it.

#rip #gonetoosoon #flyhighangel

Vomit.

See my later post, it autocorrected from adored.

I don’t get the hysteria when a drug addict or alcoholic dies. Yes it’s sad but nobody gives a damn when it’s the local heroin addict from the flats in town do they?

Right, but anyone who thinks they "know" Matthew Perry or David Bowie either has a tenuous grasp on reality or is just putting themself into the centre of the story.

You can feel that this person's art played a significant part in your life but feeling a "connection" with someone whose public image was so heavily curated is impossible.

Matthew Perry is a good case in point: his public image was so completely at odds with the reality of his life: a tortured alcoholic and drug addict. You'd think someone would triangulate this and realise that the "Matthew Perry" they are grieving didn't actually exist. Sadness and compassion for the reality of his life are completely understandable but identification with the fictional character (which didn't exist) is a bit nuts.

I was too. Am younger than you, but he was my first real music love.

It sounds like absolutely ridiculous but I was really upset when Victoria wood died

Me too. Had to pull the car over as I teared up. Not me at all. Also felt sad when Robin Williams died because of how he went and his mental health struggles.

Its not just a modern thing. I was annoyed with Elvis for dying on my 14th birthday because it distracted my mother all day instead of her focusing just on me!

Some people feel sad when anyone dies.
Especially of the person is young or it’s from suicide or tragic circumstances.

Most people feel sad when they feel a personal connection with someone.

If the drug addict was someone who they felt a personal connection with, even if it’s just seeing them at the same time everyday, then they will feel sad.

Many people feel a personal connection to certain celebs because they ‘see’ them regularly and may have grown up ‘seeing’ them.

If you told me an elderly person died I would feel sad for their families, same as I would a drug addict.
But I would likely feel sadder if it was a celeb that I am really into, just because they have more of an effect on my life.

But Matthew Perry died of a drug overdose, so I don’t get the thought that if it can happen to him then it can happen to anyone. Unless you’re a drug addict?

Obviously we’re all going to die, but a lot, in fact I’d say most celebrity deaths come about due to their lifestyles and choices. It’s almost second nature to think “drugs” when a younger celebrity dies.

Cried when prince died, I was stood in the post office when it came on the radio

I cringe when people behave like they’re personally involved.

Say, David Beckham dies. There would be “oh that’s terrible. Victoria will be devastated but her friend and make up artist Paul will be there today to comfort her. Her sister has just launched a new business in Manchester so hopefully she can make it down too.
Brooklyn and his wife are in Barbados, they booked an inclusive package but I checked Sky Scanner and there’s a private jet leaving at 1738 tonight, due to land in London.
Harper has her exams, this is just awful. She’s clearly a smart girl though, definitely had an aptitude for numbers and given it’s the maths GCSE that she’s most likely to miss, she should be ok.
Victoria is a very strong character with lots of support behind her, but nothing will replace her beloved husband. They were soulmates and were looking forward to grandchildren soon.”

I don't agree. If the person dies, particularly if they're young & it's sudden, it means no more new music from them so if you're a big fan it can be v upsetting. It's also the same reading shout any tragic death, it's upsetting

Yes. I knew a woman once who was obsessed with George Michael. (She had become a friend through an online game we both played. And I had her on facebook.)

She acted like he was a family member, and like she knew him. She would post photos of him EVERY day on facebook. Her husband grew a bit of goatee (and he had darkish hair) and she posted a photo of him and said 'I am so blessed to have a husband who looks like the love of my life George Michael.' It was fucking weird. I don't know how or why her husband tolerated it.

Then George sadly died in 2016, and people were messaging her on facebook saying 'are you OK hun' and 'thinking of you today.' etc etc. She posted a long message after a few days, saying she was utterly devastated and her life has been upended. She's not stopped crying for 3 days, she's having nightmares, she can't get him out of her mind, she's sobbing and shaking, and she's had to get meds from the GP to calm her down. And this was the killer... She said she'd be less upset if it had been her husband or a parent who'd died. Absolute fucking batshittery.

At that point, I unfriended her and blocked her.

Yes of COURSE it's OK to feel a bit sad and upset, and I was upset when Matthew Perry died, and Princess Di, and The Queen, (and probably a handful of other 'famous' people,) but it didn't affect my life one bit, and I was certainly not 'sobbing and shaking.' 🙄

But for me the fact that he was a drug addict and struggled with MH made it sadder.
Just like Robin Williams.

If a celeb died in a car crash then it would of course be sad but I think it’s a harsh reality that even someone with ‘everything’ are not invincible, which is why it hits people so hard.

I actually felt sad when the Queen died too because even though I’m not a huge fan, she has literally always been there.

I watched a video of her life of the war, 9/11 and covid etc and it made me tear up because all throughout my life and the big events she was always there.

It’s hard to describe but there’s something sad about someone always being there, suddenly not being there anymore.
And I think this is worse for celebs than a random person on the street, as you don’t see them as normal vulnerable humans like us and so it’s a shock when they die, even if it’s irrational.

People like this are fucking unwell.

I felt the same way about the Queen. I’m in my 30s so she’d been the only monarch I’d known in our country, she’d been consistent throughout. And although I obviously didn't know her, not a huge royalist etc, I still got a little teary for a couple of minutes. I think it was just this big ‘end of an era’ sort of thing. Someone who’d always been there, in a sense, that no longer was. It might sound dramatic but I wasn’t hugely upset nor did I post anything, it just hit me more than I expected it to but it was less about the person and more about what they represented. I think anyway!

I think this is spot on. I was surprised how sad I felt recently when Michelle Trachtenberg died. I am sure she was lovely but I knew almost nothing about her. But I transitioned into adulthood with Buffy, Dawn was the first child character in a show where I identified with the adults, so she was part of the landscape of a very different time in my life.

I remember my paternal grandfather (who was an awful parent) died around the same time as Senna. My dad cried for Senna and indeed never watched formula one again but was calm about his father. I know the shock of seeing it happen on TV made it worse but I do think it gave him a safe, simple outlet for a very complex grief.

Jesus. Freak.

I would have found it hard not to laugh at her batshittery.

I know what you mean, something like this...

I'm rather hoping that the British people will react in a similar manner when I 'pop-off'!

I remember hearing he had died and thinking it was sad and felt sorry for his family.

The presenters on the local radio station however, went on about his death constantly, i mean for weeks, crying when talking about him, they even got matching tattoos on their wrists (small ones), saying how everybody is devastated and the whole country is in mourning, i was just there thinking "what am i missing" as i wasnt devastated or in mourning. They were so over the top that i stopped listening to the station until they were both "let go" some time after and new presenters brought in. I had never experienced performance grief to that extreme before.

Signal One incase anybody is wondering.

@Cucy

But for me the fact that he was a drug addict and struggled with MH made it sadder.
Just like Robin Williams.

Of course it's sad. But does that realisation not at some level make people think: "Oh, maybe I didn't know Matthew Perry/Robin Williams"?

The sadness is reasonable, it's the clinging to the fiction that this person (who didn't actually exist) was part of your life.