To be upset a brothel has opened next door to my child's school

[OneJadeEagle]

Walking past school last week I noticed a shop next door that had been shut for ages has now turned into a 'massage' place. Curtains firmly shut, doorbell on, locked door, 'calling cards' left on the outside for people to pick up discreetly. Checked online and the gumtree ads and reviews from men leave no doubt the type of massages they are offering.

The school is a special needs school and some of the older children, whilst vulnerable with learning disabilities, do walk to school alone past the premises. The whole thing just really gives me the creeps, the idea of a bunch of creepy men being attracted to the road right by all these kids, possibly drugs etc.

Anyways I messaged the class WhatsApp to try and co-ordinate complaints to the council and the general vibe was I was overreacting. We are in a big city, there's always going to be something going on in the vicinity. Why put some ladies out of work when they're trying to earn an honest living and as long as they aren't parading into school what's the drama.

I don't know, AIBU?

I have friends that are escorts and happy. You cannot tarnish everyone with the same brush unless you can prove to me that they’re being raped?

you are not showing me a single thing spar t from assumptions and your own opinion. Show me the facts. The stats.

Yanbu at all

I have an adult daughter with a moderate learning disability (IQ of 56). Imo this is not OK. People with additional needs are particularly vulnerable and need to be safeguarded. But anyway it's illegal. There is no way it should be allowed near a school.

She does want to have sex with him…for a direct fee. People have sex for all kinds of reasons and not all of them are for love or attraction.

(Although based on what I have seen and been told there are some stupid men who delude themselves that a women sleeping with them for money actually genuinely likes them.)

Proof? Consent can’t be bought - that’s just a fact. If it’s transactional it’s not freely given consent. Ergo, it’s rape.

I’m sorry the “sex work is work” mantra has blinded you to reality of prostitution.

No she doesn't want to have sex with him. She wants money. The research that exists shows huge correlation between female prostitutes and disassociation from their own bodies. This is a coping mechanism from repeatedly allowing their bodies to be used for unwanted sex. Prostitution is not ' just another way to earn money' as you seem to be wanting to frame it.

I have put YANBU, because running a brothel is illegal and potentially a human trafficking issue.

But it is unreasonable to assume that men who pay for sex with adult women are a predatory danger to children.

So you would tell every sex workers they have actually been raped even if they fiercely disagree with you?

So what are the limited contexts in which you think it’s ok to have sex with people and have that count as “consensual”?

earning an honest living? The standards of this country really are in the gutter.

They are prostitutes, not sex workers. That phrase has legitimised the systematic rape of women and I refuse to use it.

I can’t help it if they refuse to see it. People do that every day of the week, deny the reality of their lives.

But please know that you are normalising having rapists purposefully, regularly and knowingly in the vicinity of a SEN school. That’s pretty amoral.

But you do you.

Right? I'm genuinely astonished at all the posts in the thread stating that having a brothel next to a school is absolutely fine because the kids aren't likely to know what's really happening there, and the women are just 'earning an honest living' and can't possibly have been trafficked or working there against their will, and the men who think they can purchase consent to use women's bodies are probably lovely and entirely non-dangerous people. Plus of course the obligatory, condescending 'be sensible please' to the OP for thinking that a brothel next to a school might be a problem. Just staggering to see so many apologists on MN.

That's not what I wrote. You're deliberately mis-paraphrasing me.

I'm saying when someone pays for something, that demonstrates very clearly that they don't believe they're entitled to it. Punter no more equals rapist mindset than customer equals shoplifter.

Rapists rape. They take without permission. They don't enter a consensual agreement trading money for sex. That's what people who understand consent do.

Oh ffs sake men who buy sex are also more likely to commit rape or commit sexual offences against women, how many times does it have to be said.

Of course it can. The definition of buying is a consensual transaction whereby money is exchanged for goods or services. If consent can't be bought all labour would be slavery.

And your evidence for that?

Yep on Lumb Lane the locals took all the kerb crawlers license plates and published them in a local paper. You don't see prostitutes there any more.

As opposed to gardeners who want to garden, masseuses who want to massage, plumbers who want to unblock drains, baristas who want to serve coffee?

Almost everyone works for money. That in itself doesn't invalidate the consent of the transaction. On the contrary, it defines it.

Where is this? Sounds a bit far-fetched.

In general I would agree with you. Though I can imagine a teenage girl/young woman being stared at by such men or asked sexually based questions. At any school.

Plenty of threads about sleazy men and MN members daughters.

Are you actually expecting the OP to tell you where her DC go to school? And it's not far-fetched in the slightest.

Perhaps the real world is safer than online in this case.

I already have…but seeing as you are either a man or a woman with a weird fetish I doubt it will change your beliefs much, however much evidence is presented, seeing as empathy is generally lacking in those who use paid for sexual services.

Apologists in this thread: Oh but the kind of men who pay to fuck women could never possibly be a danger to children! How could you even think such a thing? They are all so wonderful and completely harmless and trustworthy and they thoroughly understand consent and I just love dating them because I am so super cool.

The OP talks about 'older children' who attend this school. If 'older children' don't mean primary school age children, but girls of 14, 15, 16, 17, would you still be OK with claiming that men who pay to fuck women couldn't possibly be interested in them? And would never in a million years try to hit on the girls when they walk past the brothel alone?

I’d see a swingers bar where the attendees choose to go for their own enjoyment, and as long as they are considerate of locals and presumably children are not allowed, is not much different from any other kind of bar.

And NOT the same as a ‘massage parlour’ / brothel.

Presumably it is staffed by consenting adults and the clients are the same,

"Presumably" is doing a fuck-ton of heavy lifting there, @LBFseBrom. Far more likely to have ben trafficked, coerced, groomed or trapped by addiction. You only have to listen to the women who've escaped prostitution to know this.

Every man who buys a woman's body for sex is a predator by definition. The sooner the Nordic model is brought into UK law, the better.