To be upset a brothel has opened next door to my child's school

[OneJadeEagle]

Walking past school last week I noticed a shop next door that had been shut for ages has now turned into a 'massage' place. Curtains firmly shut, doorbell on, locked door, 'calling cards' left on the outside for people to pick up discreetly. Checked online and the gumtree ads and reviews from men leave no doubt the type of massages they are offering.

The school is a special needs school and some of the older children, whilst vulnerable with learning disabilities, do walk to school alone past the premises. The whole thing just really gives me the creeps, the idea of a bunch of creepy men being attracted to the road right by all these kids, possibly drugs etc.

Anyways I messaged the class WhatsApp to try and co-ordinate complaints to the council and the general vibe was I was overreacting. We are in a big city, there's always going to be something going on in the vicinity. Why put some ladies out of work when they're trying to earn an honest living and as long as they aren't parading into school what's the drama.

I don't know, AIBU?

I’m more worried about the possibility (over 80%) of underage girls and young women inside it being raped multiple times a day.

My understanding is that it is not illegal if there is only one woman working there at a time, as that does not make it a brothel. Does not affect the question of trafficking though.

Why do you imagine that men who are going to visit adult women for sex are going to be interested in the kids at your child's special needs school? They're no more likely to be paedophiles than any other man. Setting aside the rights/wrongs of sex work in general, the only sexual interest these men are demonstrating is in sex with adult women. They're no more likely to be a danger to a child than any other man who has sex with women.

Yes I see this point.

Correct. If it’s all legal and above board, then they won’t mind being investigated by the police.

Also true. But that's a bigger problem and not to do with the location of premises.

Oh interesting. One of the reviews online mentioned the walls are thin so customers could hear everything going on in adjoining rooms so I don't think it's just one lady.

@ItGhoul unfortunately the statistics don't support your statement.

So, what are you saying, that you are ok with sex trafficking of girls and women so long as it isn’t by your child’s school? Somewhere you see it? Why are you more concerned about your child seeing slavery on the way to school than about slavery itself?

I think I would report it to the police, incase it is girls/women being forced to do this.
I don't necessarily agree the locked door is a red flag (how do you even know it's locked)as it could be to stop random people or worse children from wandering in.
Get it checked by police and hopefully that'll put an end to it being by the school, although it will probably just reopen somewhere else sadly.

Sorry but seeing as men who pay for sex are more likely to commit rape or other sexual crimes against women, I’m not sure those sorts of people are the people you trust around vulnerable children either.

I would raise it as a concern with the headteacher and board of governors. Me personally, I wouldn’t necessarily have an issue as long as the children are safe and it’s discreet. I would want the school to review its safeguarding policy though just to make sure.

That said, at one point in my mid 20s, I both lived in a flat above a massage parlour (they were lovely quiet neighbours actually, can’t say as much for everyone else in the block) and worked in an office above a dominatrix’s dungeon. 😂 I live in a very staid middle class village now, but my 20s were good fun.

No. I'm very very much against trafficking and politically in favour of criminalising the buying of sex. And supportive of campaigns and write to my MP about it and all of those things. I guess my point was though, as long as these things happen, whether I should be concerned about them happening specifically in the vicinity of school.

In terms of what my kid sees - well he doesn't see any of it. The curtains are shut and he doesn't even know the facts of life.

Out of curiosity, would your view, as a person who is concerned about sex trafficking, be that one should report any and all such premises to alert the police to investigate? I'm trying to figure out my position on this.

So you're saying that

men who objectify adult people's bodies purely in pursuit of their own sexual satisfaction, with not a thought for another's welfare

are a totally different type of predator to

men who objectify minor people's bodies purely in pursuit of their own sexual satisfaction, with not a thought for another's welfare?

Is that what you're saying?

Then sit back and wait to be arrested for conduct liable to cause a breach of the peace.

While I probably wouldn't like it it doesn't necessarily mean there are men wandering about looking for sex, they will be inside getting it
There are a couple of places not far from me that I am pretty sure are brothels disguised as Thai Spas but they have never been an issue
I have clients from overseas and I was viewing a property with a lovely Brazilian lady recently and we walked past one, she wondered whether she should book in as she was having some back issues!!!

I cannot see how the brothel, if indeed it is one, will impact on the children at the school next door. Presumably it is staffed by consenting adults and the clients are the same, they will go in, come out and go home, won't even look at the school.

Honestly, what do you think will happen? Be sensible please.

Have you not spoken to the school? I would get their view before posting in the WhatsApp chat. Maybe they are already trying to do something about it?

A lot of people have been hoodwinked by the pro-sex work lot into thinking men who visit prostitutes are nice normal guys who just want to have sex. But of course nice normal guys who just want to have sex don't generally have to pay for it! They are creeps at best and actively abusive at worst, and yes probably exactly the kind of people who are more likely than your average man to want to take advantage of vulnerable children. Taking advantage of vulnerable people is the whole point for these men - it's what makes the experience enjoyable for them - and once that's your mindset then minor details like age become a lot less important.

The hypocritical nimbys on this post saying what’s the problem with this would react completely differently if it was next to their kids school.

I am personally not ok with this shit. Money doesn’t buy consent, and just because it’s being displayed blatantly (for the adults, not the kids to know what it is), it doesn’t mean no human trafficking or pimps are involved/women are being harmed/raped/abused.

We should never seek to normalise this abuse. The men who use these women are utterly disgusting, and I wouldn’t want them near my kids school either!

Presumably it is staffed by consenting adults

Huge assumption.

Men who buy sex have less empathy for women in prostitution than men who don’t buy sex, according to a study published online Aug. 31 in the Journal of Interpersonal Violence. The research, co-authored by UCLA professor Neil Malamuth, also found that men who buy sex are more likely to report having committed rape and other aggressive sexual acts.
The study of 101 men in the Boston area who buy sex and 101 men who do not indicates that sex buyers’ perspectives are similar to those of sexually coercive men.
“Our findings indicate that men who buy sex share certain key characteristics with men who are at risk for committing sexual aggression,” said Malamuth, a professor of communications studies and psychology. “Both groups tend to have a preference for impersonal sex, a fear of rejection by women, a history of having committed sexually aggressive acts and a hostile masculine self-identification. Those who buy sex, on average, have less empathy for women in prostitution and view them as intrinsically different from other women.”
In other studies, a lower level of empathy among men has been associated with sexual aggression toward women.
Whether prostitution is a job or sexual abuse has long been debated. The new findings support the view that prostitution is more like sexual abuse.
“We hope this research will lead to a rejection of the myth that sex buyers are simply sexually frustrated nice guys,” said Melissa Farley, the study’s lead author and executive director of Prostitution Research and Education, a San Francisco-based nonprofit.
Had the study found no differences between the views of men who buy sex and those who don’t, it might have given credence to those who advocate legalizing and regulating prostitution, said Farley, an expert on prostitution and human trafficking.
“However, given the significant levels of sexually aggressive attitudes and behavior found in sex buyers, a more progressive legal policy would be like that seen in Sweden and Norway, where prostitution is understood as a predatory crime against economically and ethnically marginalized women,” she said. “The Nordic model arrests sex buyers but decriminalizes those in prostitution and provides them with exit services.”

What do you think will happen? I don’t really see the issue. I have lived next to a brothel (it was a legal establishment overseas) and it had zero impact on the neighbourhood. Did not draw any seedy people or “drugs” (probably more drugs being done in the homes surrounding at dinner parties). I wouldn’t even have noticed it was there has I not looked it up due to the weird name.

I would probably have a bigger issue if a red light district built up around my kid’s school complete with kerb crawlers and street hookers. But not a discreet brothel.

I would also report this to the police. I wouldn't want the horrible men around the school but more than that I wouldn't want to stand idly by if there was a chance that the women were victims of sex trafficking - and obviously there is a pretty high chance of that.

Hummmm …. I understand it makes you uncomfortable but in reality those people will pretty much keep to themselves , so I doubt would cause much t trouble or want to call attention to themselves.
what’s your main worry ? That anyone speaks with the children ?