To be upset a brothel has opened next door to my child's school

[OneJadeEagle]

Walking past school last week I noticed a shop next door that had been shut for ages has now turned into a 'massage' place. Curtains firmly shut, doorbell on, locked door, 'calling cards' left on the outside for people to pick up discreetly. Checked online and the gumtree ads and reviews from men leave no doubt the type of massages they are offering.

The school is a special needs school and some of the older children, whilst vulnerable with learning disabilities, do walk to school alone past the premises. The whole thing just really gives me the creeps, the idea of a bunch of creepy men being attracted to the road right by all these kids, possibly drugs etc.

Anyways I messaged the class WhatsApp to try and co-ordinate complaints to the council and the general vibe was I was overreacting. We are in a big city, there's always going to be something going on in the vicinity. Why put some ladies out of work when they're trying to earn an honest living and as long as they aren't parading into school what's the drama.

I don't know, AIBU?

Have a read of the article. This isn't just a "report by police", Operation Pentameter Two involved all police forces in the UK raiding all known brothels over a period of 6 months looking for evidence of trafficking. They found almost zilch.

There's a question I asked no one has replied to yet, it is illegal to work in a brothel so is no one else here concerned that reporting this could mean these sexworkers being arrested and charged as well as their earnings confiscated? (because it's a brothel, the police can confiscate their cash, phones etc.)

I have no reason to doubt what you say about your life experience, and your work with homeless people and those with addictions. I'm sure that gives you valuable insight here.

But the 'proof' that men who use prostituted women is not quantifiable, it's definitional. You cannot fully consent to sex if it's transactional. Because sexual consent ought to be on the basis of totally free choice. That's what we teach children in school, right? Or do we say 'it's totally ok for someone to touch you in the area of your underwear if they've paid you'? Consent is not something that can be bought, Cerealkiller9000. If you have to pay for the 'consent' of a woman so you can do various sexual things with her, you have side-stepped the entire issue of whether she actually wants to or not. She needs to, therefore she does. Do you think that's ok? Would YOU be happy to have a sexual experience on that basis? I'm not trying to offend you, and certainly don't intend to judge anyone who has had to resort to selling their bodies in order to survive. That's why I think the Nordic Model is the only way to tackle this abusive industry.

All of them.

Consent can’t be bought. Therefore they are raping these women - yes, even including your happy hooker pals.

@Christinapple i have also posted far more recent links that shows that sex trafficking is a problem in the uk .It is the owners or managers of the brothel that are acting illegally, and all those those profit by exploiting women , it’s not illegal for a woman herself to sell sex. Do you think that punters do their “ due diligence” and check that the money isn’t going to a pimp or organised crime gang?

@Meadowfinch has the right idea. You don’t need other parents to collaborate, just find out who at the council deals with business use and email them. Or contact your local councillors. Have you asked the school and the governors what they think?

I would be surprised if the shop was even open during school hours but I don’t know much about them. So you might be worrying about nothing but don’t let other people’s opinions or apathy stop you doing something you think is right

I was in this exact position OP. In fact there were two, both same business, opposite each other and within 30 yards of school gate where I was a school governor. Literally men coming out of the doors pulling their trousers up every 20 minutes, both my daughters noticed.

I reported it to the police and the local authority, I had the local MP come round, put it on our village Facebook page etc. You know what they did? Well, the local councillor said "it's private business and nothing to do with us", the local Facebook group admins refused to publish any posts about it, and then police raided the places and arrested some of the women for IMMIGRATION OFFENCES. Fuck the prostitution, possible trafficking, whatever, just arrest some brown people (even more points for them being female) and job's a good un, builders can continue to get wanked off in their lunch break. Was double handy as there was a chippy next door. The Facebook group would lose their minds if there was a parking issue or a dodgy looking leaflet delivery man walking around, but prostitution opposite village school, well, its only a bit o' fun eh?

I've left that area now but that was 10 years ago and they're still doing a roaring trade. Interestingly (disgustingly?) my friend in the area was a beautician, and actually did therapeutic massage, been practising for years, she said most of her business calls each day were from men wanting sex. Anyway, obviously my efforts came to nothing, so I do admire you for trying to do something OP but not sure what on earth you can do?

They are rapists. They think they can buy consent.

I personally wouldn't be happy because it's attracting a group of guys wanting to get their rocks off. Who on earth wants those kind of guys hanging around the area?!

If you don’t get anywhere with the council or police try the modern slavery hotline. That worked for one near me.

Meh, where I live they built the school next to a knocking shop (not massages but swinger) here then tried to complain and have it shut down.

The knocking shop clearly pointed out they have been their for decades and its hardly been a secret. They showed they keep the premise locked and inaccessible to the general unbooked public and argued providing a place for consensual adults to shag isn't illegal or they would have to out law all hotels as well.

The sex bar won their right to stay are still there and from the cars outside (many with no subtly, always hilarious for creative rude private number plates though) at the weekend I would say they still do great business and in the decade since the school opened no kids have been effected by there being a building they walk past but can't get into.

@Christinapple

There's a question I asked no one has replied to yet, it is illegal to work in a brothel so is no one else here concerned that reporting this could mean these sexworkers being arrested and charged as well as their earnings confiscated? (because it's a brothel, the police can confiscate their cash, phones etc.)

Perhaps the lack of answers to your question is an answer in itself ?

Yes of course trafficking can and does happen, but a 6 month surprise raid on all known brothels by all police forces all across the UK which found almost nothing may suggest it's not as prevalent as claimed by some.

"it’s not illegal for a woman herself to sell sex"

Yes but as long as she (or he) is alone. Sexworkers are committing a crime in all of the UK and ROI if they work together at the same premise, even if it's on different times or days.

When people with a learning disability are at the highest risk of abuse, I'd be very concerned by the type of people this place would attract. My Daughter has a learning disability and it's something that would really concern me.

You are not being unreasonable at all.

As a society we should not be normalising men being able to purchase intimate access to women's bodies. Nor should we be turning a blind eye to women being forced into prostitution. I can't think of anything that normalises this abusive attitude to women, that is inherent in prostitution, more than placing a brothel next to a school.

Its not about whether a man will attack a child. Its about the type of society we want to live in and what attitude we want society to have to women, and what attitudes to women we want society to condemn.

Because the place purports to be a massage parlour, which is legal.

Why put some ladies out of work when they're trying to earn an honest living

Or possibly funding organised crime 🤷‍♀️ I’d be very unimpressed as well.

We had one in my small town and I once got chatting to a business acquaintance whose tongue was loosened by a couple of beers and he told me he was a customer. With my enouragement he waxed lyrical about the "gorgeous young Chinese girls" that were "on offer", and how vocally they "enjoyed" the activities they got up to with him (a man of 55!) Afterwards I called the police and told them everything. They firstly watched and then one day raided the place and those concerned were jailed for sex trafficking. The girls were barely legal age and had been brought into the UK specifically to be sold for sex. Their passports were confiscated and they were told they had to "earn" the cost of bringing them to the UK. And that all took place behind the "front" of being an "innocent" massage parlour.

There are men who “use women’s bodies as wank socks” and men who don’t.

Whether they are willing to engage in a transaction with a sex worker or not has no bearing on that.

Not all men who engage sex workers see the experience as “wanking with a woman’s body”.

Plenty of men who are in non paid for sexual experiences wank using a woman’s body. It’s not black and white.

Lots of different people use sex workers for lots of different reasons. There is no reason to suggest that these people are either disgusting or predatory.

Nope. But I wouldnt assume.

id want the proof

Everyone who uses a prostitute knows he is having sex with a woman who does not want to have sex with him. If she wanted to have sex with him, he would not be paying.

Having sex with someone who you know is not attracted to you and you know does not want to have sex with you, is a really, really disgusting thing to do.

Absolutely this!

Sorry. Show me proof. To back up what you’re saying?

Sorry. Proof again please? To back up what you’re saying?

YANBU to be upset OP, but the reality is that it will have very little impact on the school dc. I lived in a flat and the shop underneath became a 'massage' place. Description absolutely as you describe it, and I had to go in one day to deliver mail and the receptionist was wearing a negligee (a small part of me believed it was a legit Thai massage place with no happy endings) which affirmed it for me. Anyway, the worst part of it was that I was very concerned about the women working there, I used to see women with suitcases coming in every so often, but never, ever saw women coming out. They definitely had some sort of bunkhouse in there because I would see a man bringing in shopping, bedding etc but no women were ever seen leaving. The police said it was all legit