Massive overreaction to a TV show

[Kilroyonly]

I have watched Adolescence but don’t feel it was in any way relevant to my life nor my children It’s a very good show but it doesn’t resonate & I don’t understand the hype

That's so sad to read. Your poor DD.

Thank goodness for this thread, couldn't agree more OP. Tired of reading about it, tired of all the usual man-haters using it as an excuse to post about how all boys and men are awful. Such a lot of divisive and unhealthy discussion about this series and Andrew Tate (a person that my sons and all their male friends assure me they know is a complete idiot).

There was a story in the news yesterday about a young man who had lost his life whilst saving 3 women. I felt very sad when I read it to think of all the negative discussion towards men that this series is causing and the posts I have seen from mums feeling 'terrified' of raising boys after watching this series.

YANBU in some ways: it reminds me of the reception to "We've got to talk about Kevin" - people were saying "Oooh was a tragedy!" and "That poor mother!" - forgetting it was fiction.

It's great art I suppose - extremely well acted and directed. That camera work is incredible! And it's a great reflection of current society and issues with social media. So that makes us suspend our disbelief.

But the government commenting on it is weird - it's like the government responding to Independence Day. Guys it's made up.

Puts the fear into middle England and creates a narrative of ‘it could happen to anyone’.

Also deflects from really important issues and political choices affecting young people, that should be debated. As you say, overstretched and failing public services, including almost total collapse of youth services since 2010. Plus, parents having to work long hours just to afford basics, growing child poverty, record family homelessness, impact of the pandemic, racism etc.

The kid murders someone and the implication is that it was because his parents didn’t monitor his social media or check on him much. The murder story gets people’s attention but makes it completely unrealistic. It also makes people think it isn’t their problem because their son isn’t about to stab someone.

No, that was one part of the issue. I also highlighted the family dynamic, which wasn't the loving home some people are suggesting.
Clearly it's a multifaceted issue but if it manages to highlight some of these issues and get people talking then that's a good thing.

Whenever you hear children talk about Andrew Tate, they don't think much about him, but the media are obsessed over him.

I find it suspicious that he flew back to Romania at the weekend, and there was trouble at Heathrow. Perhaps he was also in Ukraine in January 2022?

He's a convenient villain, he's also a grifter and a nasty person, but all the publicity just heightens his brand.

It really comes down to the same moral panic society has had for years, of normal people being seduced by the devil. The actual devil in biblical times, to rock music, video nasties, computer games and now to Andrew Tate videos. Much easier to blame that than society.

I don’t have sons, only daughters, so acknowledge I cannot fully understand your frustration, but I do have two absolutely wonderful nephews who I’m sure will grow up to be like your sons hopefully. But for every story like the one you read yesterday, they are lost among the ones of far less heroic men. It’s not being negative to point this out. It’s true.

Ok. I watched a really good show about an old school comedienne and her Gen z side kick in Vegas. Didn’t really have much to do with my life or my children’s…

But the government commenting on it is weird - it's like the government responding to Independence Day. Guys it's made up.

Are you suggesting incel culture, toxic masculinity and misogyny are made up?

This.

dont be so damn ignorant.

I think this is a bit unfair. There is a long history of fiction being used to draw attention to, and even drive action on, real societal issues, including in TV (e.g. Cathy Come Home). The story is made up, of course, but the issue isn't. Similarly, We Need to Talk About Kevin was very clearly drawing on - and trying to bring some nuance to discussions of - the very real issue of school shootings by teens in the US.

Surely the point is, whether you feel it’s relevant to you specifically or not, the program highlights what is becoming a very worrying trend amongst, particularly, adolescent/ young men, I would rarely agree with Gareth Southgate, but he was so right in his comments about young men and role models

I do agree with that point, and think it's great when art stimulates discussion - but bringing it up in the house of commons feels a bit ... odd.

OP you are being exceptionally naive. You have teenagers that live in 2025 and have access presumably to the internet and perhaps social media. Algorithms are poisonous and exceptionally insidious.

The point isn’t just about misogyny and knife crime. It’s also an opportunity to speak to all of our children about the dangers of dangerous rhetoric online. Whether that’s about misogyny, terrorism, racism, conspiracy theories etc.

the whole point is that’s it’s an opportunity for you to have an extremely important conversation with your kids about being safe online, taking everything you hear from others with a pinch of salt and critical thinking skills.

totally lost on you.

man-haters? Really? You’re going to boil down real and significant issues in today’s society to people hating men? 😂 wow.

I look forward to the threads on here from your future daughters in law in a few years time.

Indeed, most kids see him as a grifter and a joke. He’s the latest media Bogeyman corrupting teens.

Used to be Elvis, then Jagger, then Lydon, then gangsta rap. Now drill.

It is very frustrating (thank you for understanding).

Andrew Tate has become a catch-all word for the “manosphere” and red pill community online that is absolutely not just a
bogeyman. Tate may be falling out of fashion now, but I can’t promise you that these incel communities are still alive and kicking. How many teenage boys have you worked with recently? This way of thinking is endemic in schools and has a scary grip on children of all backgrounds.

Obviously wasted on you. This is happening sadly.

My friend thought it was rubbish, rubbish acting,no action,boring etc. LOVES the new Snow white movie 🙄😲Go figure 🤦

Is adolescence the only series you’ve watched that isn’t relevant to your life?
It is actually potentially relevant to your children, their friends and even your grandchildren in the future.
Young incels grow into older incels. Remember what happened in Plymouth a few years ago? That rampage killed people with no connection to the incel culture. When that happened it was the first time I had heard of the term.
It’s a horrifying and eye opening series.

How long have you been on MN that you are not aware of the negativity towards men from some posters? Not long, obviously.

You won't read any negative posts about my daughters-in-law in future because I have great relationships; love my sons female friends.

This is such over dramatic nonsense. You give parents no credit at all.

How long have you been on MN that you are not aware of the negativity towards men from some posters?

Do you think it's completely unjustified?
Do you think the issues being discussed on this thread and others aren't real?

I think the biggest problem with it is that it is deeply flawed and the writers were afraid to address the real problem. There have always been dangerous boys. They existed long before the invention of social media and the smartphone.
Men have been killing 2-3 women a week for decades and that number has remained stable throughout. It hasn't suddenly spiked with the introduction of the smartphone. Adolescence couldn't explain anything and offered no solutions, compared to something like Curfew.

The show hinted at intergenerational violence but was afraid to really go there.

The female characters were entirely male gaze and given no room for depth at all. Katie as a victim was entirely ignored. And they also managed to throw in girls are as bad, by having a girl assault a male pupil while everyone just stood around and watched, including the adults.

It was suggested that Jamie was spending all his time online and alone, and yet he was out for hours until late at night with his friends, so not online and alone at all. It was suggested that he was decent and normal and no-one had a clue, which doesn't ring true with what is known about boys who have done this IRL, where they've had contact with multiple agencies in the months prior. It was suggested that he was a lone wolf, but his friend gave him the knife, and that wasn't explored at all either.

Almost all boys are online now, and almost all of them don't go on to kill anyone. It's incredibly rare.

Thorne has fixated on the idea that it's all about the phone when it's not, presumably because it seems to offer a solution that makes parents feel better. It's obvious that social media and the way algorithms work is having an effect on boys with a certain disposition, but they have to be that way inclined in the first place. It encourages them but it doesn't create them from scratch.

Part of the point of the show is you don’t always know what’s going on and that’s why it could, in theory, be relevant to anyone. I do understand why people don’t like it but I think the point is often missed. Things like a lack of a definitive “ending” is because that’s how it would be in reality.