Massive overreaction to a TV show

[Kilroyonly]

I have watched Adolescence but don’t feel it was in any way relevant to my life nor my children It’s a very good show but it doesn’t resonate & I don’t understand the hype

Yes I agree, but I'd of preferred more detail than action, if that makes sense.

I wondered if the vagueness was intentional, because in real life we rarely know exactly what caused someone to commit a crime like that, and because his parents didn't know?

The specifics will change, so whatever words, emojis, memes, sites etc were involved for Jamie will likely be outdated soon and replaced by something else; but there remains an insidious "something" out there filling minds with hate and bitterness 😔

100%. Highly unlikely (can’t think of a single case) a kid from a good, loving, comfortable home murders someone out of the blue. It’s usually after months and years of involvement (and contact with the parents) from the school, social services, mental health etc.

I don't think most parents of teenagers were relating and worrying about their child becoming a murderer, but more about knife crime in general and the issues with phones and what their children are using them for and being exposed to.

100%. Highly unlikely (can’t think of a single case) a kid from a good, loving, comfortable home murders someone out of the blue. It’s usually after months and years of involvement (and contact with the parents) from the school, social services, mental health etc.

But it doesn't have to be completely accurate to generate discussion.

And the family portrayed did have issues. The dad had anger issues and had very specific ideas around masculinity which he tried to force onto his son. The women in the family spent a lot of time regulating the dad's emotions.
They allowed Jamie to be out on the streets until 10pm and didn't check on him when he got home.

The question is how many teenagers are influenced by ‘the incel narrative’ and Tate? Compared to, say, the Sidemen.

Most serious youth violence is nothing to do with Tate.

This surprises me a LOT.
Unless you are members of the royal family, I can’t believe that some of the serious issues raised weren’t recognised by your children at their ages.
Did you talk about the themes with them?

If parents did these decades ago long before social media existed, then society would not need to fear social media because society would already be better.

@ProfessionalPirate Incel and far right ideology, misogyny is shown to be growing across the globe (not just the UK) so while you could argue that lax parenting played a part in this story this could happen as it has in many parts of the UK. Not only knife crime but sexual attacks and gun shooting. I think the story should be told and if you deny it could happen in your part of the UK you are naive. I have spoken to many secondary school teachers asking if that school on Adolescent is typical and sadly it appears it may be and not just in city and deprived areas.

This x100!

I’m so fed up of seeing all these posts “my darling little Johnny isn’t like that at all!”

Yeah, right, 2 women die each fucking week in the UK because of domestic violence. All these men didn’t fall on earth from the sky, right? These are your baby-faced Johnnies who “weren’t like that at all”.

The question is how many teenagers are influenced by ‘the incel narrative’ and Tate? Compared to, say, the Sidemen.

Most serious youth violence is nothing to do with Tate.

But it's all part of the same problem though isn't it?

Unregulated access to the internet, misogyny, violence.... doesn't matter who is saying it, it's the fact it's being said and listened to.

If this programme has made people more aware and had created a discussion then that's a good thing.

If we did not have the mass media, hardly anyone would even know about tate. Society would also be better without half of the mass media eg bonnie etc again without the mass media etc

Yeah, right, 2 women die each fucking week in the UK because of domestic violence. All these men didn’t fall on earth from the sky, right? These are your baby-faced Johnnies who “weren’t like that at all”..

🙌 spot on.

It made me think of this really powerful ted talk

m.youtube.com/watch?v=bCFZQcaIgDM

I’d love to live in the world you live in! Where are you from? Outer Mongolia? Siberia?

There was a poster on MN the other day who called other posters 'Karens' because they disagreed with her. She saw no issue with her own 10 year old son calling her a 'Karen' because she nagged him to tidy his room. There are many many parents who are completely oblivious..

Absolutely this.

I enjoyed watching it and thought the acting was good but the story was unrealistic. Kids murder other kids when they have very complicated and deprived family backgrounds, there are warning signs and red flags for years and there is always a context of failed public services who fail to work together to help the family, chronic issues remaining unresolved and much warning behaviour from the child. It is never a shock in hindsight and the same story comes out afterwards about a lack of action by services and a failure of services to work together.

This story about a very nice lad who gets corrupted online is what the public perhaps want to hear and its more palatable, simple and easier to hear than the truth.

That’s exactly what I thought - the whole point of the show was to get parents to take their heads out of their arses.

This is a very good point.

OP, even if you assume in your rarefied part of this world that this isn’t an issue, I can assure you that it is in the country at large. Please speak to your children about this issue and do not brush it off. This is a problem for all of us in modern society unfortunately.

And the family portrayed did have issues. The dad had anger issues and had very specific ideas around masculinity which he tried to force onto his son. The women in the family spent a lot of time regulating the dad's emotions.

These are common themes with many male murderers and then said men often blame the women for not doing enough even when they watched their mothers and sisters being physically abused. Doesn’t matter the class either.

The kid murders someone and the implication is that it was because his parents didn’t monitor his social media or check on him much. The murder story gets people’s attention but makes it completely unrealistic. It also makes people think it isn’t their problem because their son isn’t about to stab someone.

There is certainly plenty of out of control kids, misogyny and homophobia in schools though.

They did. And teens climbed out of their bedroom windows (or said they were staying at a friend’s) to go to parties and raves, have underage sex, and partake of drugs and alcohol. Even at private schools.

Teen pregnancy was a huge issue in the 1970s. Violence was everywhere: in the home, from teachers, football crowds, gigs etc. In 1950s London, knife crime (e.g. Teddy boys with flick knives) caused tons of debate.

I’m so impressed with young people these days. They’re much more socially aware and respectful of others than when I was young. They can speak much more openly about issues like mental health, sexual health, grooming. Schools have done a great job. The internet is of far more benefit than harm.

I’m not saying there aren’t still challenges and risks. And it’s good to discuss them. But there always are.

Well who would have guessed the baby faced adolescent would have stabbed a girl to death?
I was absolutely hoping the police had got the wrong kid. Average kid doing averagely at school, average home life etc
Unfortunately children are being influenced in ways that were impossible a few years ago and children are stabbing children.
Incels? Never heard of that until a few years ago but many males feel validated by their (unacceptable) views.
I hope it’s a wake up call for parents to protect their kids from internet shite.

I agree with this, but would also note that the majority of those men also won't have been raised on smartphones and Andrew Tate. There's been no shift, either way, on the rate of women killed by men since 2009, and that figure is considerably down on previous decades, though clearly still far too high. Pinning the blame on what the kids are watching on Youtube is, I think, only part of the point: this is the most recent manifestation of a deep-rooted societal misogyny, not something wholly new.