Massive overreaction to a TV show

[Kilroyonly]

I have watched Adolescence but don’t feel it was in any way relevant to my life nor my children It’s a very good show but it doesn’t resonate & I don’t understand the hype

THIS. This a hundred times

The response is weird in that it lacks so much of the nuance and ambiguity of the show itself. There's a whole load of factors that go into the murder, and I'm not even convinced nasty videos on the Internet is all that high up the list.

I do think these videos are something of a problem in real life, and one society probably ought to pay more attention to, but the actual message of the programme is a lot more complex than that.

Most parents out there fail to have these conversations with their young people. That’s why there are such raging problems like this.

For you to think otherwise is incredibly ignorant.

As a psychotherapist in London mental health services it stares me in the face daily and has become a wildly increasing problem for the last 15 years or so. I speak from vast experience.

Are you a bit dense? Not every life portrayed on TV is the same as yours? It can then be informative and perhaps give you some (obviously much needed in your case) insight into other people's lives.

There are good and bad people around, some kids are vulnerable to idiots like AT, some men AND women were not taught respect. The issues are nothing new.

There are good and bad people around, some kids are vulnerable to idiots like AT, some men AND women were not taught respect. The issues are nothing new.

But there is a societal issue of male violence against women and girls. Highlighting that doesn't make you a man hater. It's fact.

You have a skewed perspective because of your job. You are incredibly ignorant to think otherwise.

'But there is a societal issue of male violence against women and girls.'

Where do you live that this is happening?! You need to move if that is the case.

Secondary teacher here and a mother to a teenage son and a teenage daughter. Thought the drama was really interesting and I do see parallels with things I've encountered professionally and with parenting my own children. I think a conversation needs to be had and as Richard Bacon said on Question Time recently perhaps we should equate teenagers with mobile phones and teenagers with cigarettes. Pastorally you won't believe the stuff we see at school in terms of students' social media 'conversations'. Vile, sexualised language, cruel bullying and all the rest. The culprits are by no stretch the 'bad uns' but it is becoming a social norm. The battles I've had with my own two and taking phones up to their rooms at night illustrates to me how dependent and dare I say addicted they have come to this relentless communication. It is their social world. I'm now trying to model with my own phone usage and it's interesting how I too feel the pull of doom scrolling and all the rest.

I keep posting this but misogyny is a huge issue in Secondary schools and ever growing in Primaries. This cannot be ignored. It is not just children being dragged up by dysfunctional families

But there is a societal issue of male violence against women and girls.'

Where do you live that this is happening?! You need to move if that is the case.

My mum was murdered by her partner.
2 women a week are murdered by a current or ex partner.
Over 90% of women claim to experience sexual harassment or abuse at some point in their lives.

Where you live doesn't fucking matter.

I thought it was brilliant and very thought provoking.

My DDs are mid 20s now and have left home, but I still found it relevant. I have young god daughters/sons and hopefully I may become a grandparent, we all need to keep in touch with this sort of stuff.

My DDs weren't allowed phones/computers in their bedrooms until they were 16 and had done their exams, it caused a lot of rows some evenings but I'm glad I stuck to it. This was nearly 10 years ago, I imagine it would be even more difficult these days. With hindsight I wish I had stuck to it until 18!

This proves the point that the issue is humans themselves, as proven then, no internet or social media and still .......

If you don’t think what the programme shows relates to you, maybe read this report or many others like it. These youngsters are the adults of the future, living in your society.

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/review-of-sexual-abuse-in-schools-and-colleges/review-of-sexual-abuse-in-schools-and-colleges#what-did-we-find-out-about-the-scale-and-nature-of-sexual-abuse-in-schools

The age-old game of pointing fingers. Social media is the latest villain in town, but let’s not kid ourselves entertainment has been shaping minds long before algorithms started serving up outrage on a silver platter.

If society truly wanted to fix delinquency, they wouldn’t just shake their fists at Twitter and TikTok. No, they’d take a scalpel to the entire entertainment industry movies, music, television, even the so-called "news." Because let’s be honest, crime didn’t start with viral trends, and bad behaviour didn’t begin with influencers or even the internet.

It's not relevant to my life my i thought it was fantastic, the acting and they way of filming was amazing.

Also if social media is the new big bad, then what was society thinking when :

To wonder WTF is wrong with Catherine Cookson | Mumsnet

I’m also one who was underwhelmed by the series and thought it was wildly over-hyped.
The issues it explores are relevant and important but the show didn’t really go much into the whole incel thing, or what exactly Jamie was watching online, or the events leading up to the murder - why was he meeting Katie, was there an argument between them that evening etc. It was all just hinted at and quite vague. Big chunks of the show were just people walking up and down stairs, down corridors, opening and closing doors, making small talk and conversations not really relevant to the plot. At times I was bored and wondering when we’d get to the point.
Also don’t get why people are so shocked about the school and what’s meant to be so horrible about it - it was just kids acting up and teachers being a bit shouty, surely this has always happened everywhere, it didn’t seem that different to my school in the early-mid 00s. None of this is new, even back then there were badly behaved kids, girls being slut shamed (though no nudes as phones didn’t have cameras), we got up to all sorts on social media (though it was Bebo, MySpace, MSN messenger and chat rooms rather than Instagram), we had mobile phones, there was inappropriate and gross stuff shared online (anyone remember 2 girls 1 cup??), we had access to porn and all sorts.
Most of us are now normal 30 somethings with jobs and families. The incel stuff has been going on for ages, I remember first hearing about the blue pill/red pill stuff around 2008/9, though it was limited to certain online forums.
I thought the show could have delved more into how this stuff has gone from niche corners of the internet to mainstream and how the likes of Andrew Tate/pick up artists/incel ideology has gone more mainstream and is radicalising young people. But it all get very surface level, we didn’t get to see the journey of how Jamie went from normal sweet boy to being radicalised.

It hasn't made me worried that my son (8) will be radicalised or anything, but it has made me worried to send him to secondary school in a few years time.

You are right to be worried. Stay vigilant and keep talking to him, even when he gets to the age where he may not be as forthcoming about what is going on in his world.
Keep an eye on who he’s spending time with too, irl and online.

Chatting to a friend with a 14yo boy, misogyny is absolutely rife in his school. It's very sad.

It is a dramatic portrayal of a very modern problem of the influence over young minds.

This is a common theme to all parents.
Yes it was extreme, yes it was filmed intimately.

If your teen is truly not affected by online/screen issues then that is more unusual right now than not.

Body image, bullying by shaming with photo/video messaging, feeling of being left out of an event when you are getting photos of everyone else at a sleepover but you, feeling less adequate because your parents didn't take you skiing or to Paris because you were studying the Impressionists. Social media for teens is a way to show off, exclude, influence. How many kids try to suck up to the popular teens to be in that inner circle?

The questioning of modern parenthood especially pertinent to fatherhood I thought was subtle but clever.

We, as parents, and our children, are guinea pigs in this teens and online world.
It's opened up many discussions that other culture tries have not. Which isn't a bad thing.

I thought it was good. Not happy tv but good.

@MarmaladeBagel and have these chats before he goes to Secondary. Some of the Andrew Tate behaviours/influences etc are being seen in primary schools

Our eldest was in class when some horror male student told their chemistry teacher (who is a female phd Dr) that "she should be at home in the kitchen looking after her man".

Well, isn't it ironic? They claim that TV and films don't shape our behavior, yet every time someone scrolls through TikTok or binge-watches the latest viral trend on social media, they start acting like it's their new reality.

The real question is: Who controls the narrative?

Who decides what gets viewed, what gets liked, and ultimately, what gets followed? You see, power doesn't just lie in the hands of the creators it lies in the hands of those who shape perception. And whether it's a political speech, a viral meme, or a scripted drama, the effect on behavior is undeniable. So, they may call it entertainment, but it's more like a masterclass in influence.