Massive overreaction to a TV show

[Kilroyonly]

I have watched Adolescence but don’t feel it was in any way relevant to my life nor my children It’s a very good show but it doesn’t resonate & I don’t understand the hype

Don’t let your children use the internet in their room. Mine don’t age 14 and 15 year old boys. I would rather they watch their YouTube crap in the sitting room than me not knowing what’s going on in their lives.

They barely sit in their room at all. We have a very open home. I find it strange that some young teenagers have whole YouTube style computer set ups in their bedroom and their parents think nothing is going on because they are being quiet.

Isn't a major theme in the show the absolute disbelief of the parents that it could be their child?

If your child has access to the Internet in any way, it is relevant to you.

Then I think you’ve missed the point? It resonates with me because my DD will definitely come across ‘Jamie’ type boys soon in her life and the fact that it’s now ‘out there’ about this type of behaviour/upbringing means hopefully more people are aware.

How old are your children?
I suspect if it doesn’t resonate yet, it soon will.

Well, good for you.

Unfortunately, it is relevant to lots of people so it's a good thing it's being discussed.

It was very relevant to me (teen sons) but also barely touched on the real issues as we spent a lot of time going up and down stairs and across playgrounds with the actors and everything had to be synchronised so you could ‘seamlessly’ transfer to another scene. I watched it with aforementioned sons and we thought it was a bit crap tbh. We’ve had more interesting and enlightening conversations after reading news articles, I was hoping this would be topical and raise opportunities for discussion, but one son said ‘why does everyone keep saying it’s about toxic masculinity but you wouldn’t know unless you read a review of it?’ (I know he’s missed some subtleties, but it didn’t dig deep enough in my opinion. I liked Steve Biddulph’s write up of it explaining it was essentially missing some of the other underlying factors of toxic masculinity and violent situations.

It isn't hype. It's fiction which has touched on very real and frightening concerns the effects of which could affect any young person. Obviously people want to discuss it especially if the manosphere and Tate is new to them.

Not sure why you deem it as being a “massive overreaction” to the programme on the basis you don’t think it has anything to do with your life or your children? I don’t think if a programme lacks relevance to one persons life that it therefore means others are overreacting if they respond differently.
Also, I do think you are naive if you think it all has nothing to do with you and your kids. They will no doubt be exposed to some things you’d prefer not and the kids they interact with will too. Don’t dismiss it all as being “other people” or those people you do not think parent as brilliantly as you do. That just contributes to the problem.
I think you posted to be deliberately provocative as otherwise there wasn’t really any point in saying don’t understand what the fuss is about as it has nothing to do with me as surely it is beyond obvious that we all have different life experiences and are all potentially vulnerable to harmful things.

Couldn’t agree more.
We’re going to watch it again, with DD this time.

My children are all adults now but I do think it's an issue that we all should be thinking about as a society. How children are being influenced by social media and the incel culture is relevant to everyone. Your children might be fine but there will be children in their school that are influenced by this insidious misogyny. If you don't think it's a big problem, you should read Men Who Hate Women by Laura Bates. It's an eye-opener 😕

Same here.

If your children have smartphones or they have friends with smartphones who they spend time with unsupervised by you, then it is relevant to your life. You are free to ignore it. But bear in mind that one of the underlying messages is that there is a generation
of parents (us) sleep walking through this new age of “kids with phones” where technology amd the dark side of the web is moving faster than we can keep up with.

I am almost afraid to watch it but I think I should. I have a 7 yo DS and the thought of him ever having unrestricted internet access scares the daylights out of me. Even if I am strict with it, all it’ll take is for one of his class mates whose parents don’t give a shit to show him something I don’t want him to see when they get to that age

What’s with all the threads about this show? Starting to think it’s deliberate.

Are you a deeply unimaginative person?

IMHO if you don't think it's relevant the storyline went over your head.
My Y8 DD was sexually harassed today by a Y8 boy and has had 3 months + low level harassment/bullying by a group of Y8 boys. Head of Year tells me their parents are all deeply shocked. It's a "good school" in a "nice" area. Head of Year suspects Andrew Tate style internet influence - boys lack any positive response to school interventions, which are continuously escalating and will likely end in suspension/perm exclusion. The boys believe the girls are the issue when they report the boys' poor behaviour. Lacking in insight and accountability for their actions. This TV programme subject matter may not be impacting OP, but it sure as hell is impacting too mmany other people every day.

Yanbu. It was good, but not great imo. The first episode was by far the best. The rest were a bit boring and I didn't really understand some of it.

OMG I know right!! I remember when Friends came out, so much hype!! I don’t have any friends so totes didn’t resonate with me.

I absolutely get the point of the show but it’s just not something that I can relate to at all. My children watched it & said that it was good but they didn’t connect with it

I’m absolutely not promoting the show I’m just astonished that anyone finds ot remotely relevant

I thought the exact same. It barely scratched the surface. I assumed the whole show was about incel culture and the impact phone use had on teenage kids, but I really isn’t. There were about 4 conversations about it. Maybe that was the point, his parents had no idea what he was doing online and this world he was immersed in, and neither did the viewer.

It highlighted so much that we normalise: family dynamics that feature unexpressed emotions, which leads to misdirected anger (not even necessarily violence or overt abuse), and that perpetuate traditional gender roles, while leaving children and teens to their own devices - literally - all which unintentionally contribute to children's view of the world, which is then exacerbated by the horrific and toxic rise of online influencers who are able to reach children who parents think are "safe" in their bedrooms. It doesn't just affect parents that "don't give a shit" - the point was that the parents in the programme did give a shit about their children, but they were so entrenched in their world view that it was all just normal to them. As it is to many many "good" families out there. It is an eye-opener and should be discussed. So, I would argue that if it doesn't seem relevant to you, that is much the point of the whole drama, because it's probably more relevant to you than you think.

I think that’s always the risk if you watch something a little late to the party and have heard all the hype. You would have probably found it more interesting/impactful if you’d watched it cold, not knowing anything.

It isn’t directly related to my life, I checked with my teens, they had never heard of the term “incel” and I did a little pop quiz on emoji’s and they had no clue. My DD ended up watching it herself and said it felt like a different country that she was watching and couldn’t relate at all.

That doesn’t mean I/we didn’t find it powerful and interesting and worried about the vast number of kids that this is reflecting. It was hugely eye-opening.

But what I personally loved about the programme was the way it was shot. All in one take. I found that added so much to the intensity. I’ve never seen anything shot that way before.

I don't understand why you're telling us this?

Emmerdale doesn't particularly resonate with me but it's never entered my head to tell everyone.

How old are your children? I can see skme
of your points but not to see the relevance of the online influences baffles me and how we don’t know was surely the point