Do you remind your partner about their own mother on mother's day?

[Laiste]

Or do you just leave them to it?

Do you actually buy the card for him?

Do you feel he should do more but you don't get involved?

Just interested 😊 In our case i remind him, but leave him to it AND think he should do more ...

My daughter does this with her brother. This year she was delighted he already had it sorted. He's 30 in September so we are getting there 😂

Jesus Christ, no. Why would I? He's an adult, and his relationship with his mum is between them and not my business.

You sound like the nicest person on Mumsnet, @TheatreTraveller.
I see so many threads where MILs are treated with disdain, including a Mothers Day thread where posters were queueing to say MILs have had their day and it's not their turn anymore. That made me sad but your post cheered me up that not everyone hates or resents their MIL. I wish you and your MIL a lovely day on Sunday.

I used to yes but not now, I was unwittingly papering over cracks

Yes, I do. Because I’d hate for him to forget, I can only imagine how sad that would make her — and my husband can be forgetful. I also bought her a present this year, and had the kids create drawings for her. I don’t do that every year but for some reason, this year, I did. I don’t mind.

I don't need to remind him and he sorts her card but I'll get her flowers just because I will be going to the shops and DH won't. We are a team and they are from all of us as a family so why not.

Nope. I haven't bought a Mother's Day card for over 30 years so it's not even on my radar.

Besides, he managed well enough before we got together so 🤷🏻‍♀️

We're going out for dinner with his family for Mother's Day on Sunday, but he contacted his sister to see if she was available and then he booked it. I'll just make sure I'm ready to go at whatever time he tells me to he ready for.

I think that the issue is that some women are sad that their husbands don’t value their mums and are trying to manage their mum in laws feelings by pretending that the son is thoughtful. You can’t manage others feelings like that, nor is it your responsibility.

I recognise the 'trying to manage other people's relationships to save feelings' thing. It's a can of worms.

MIL doesn't want a card/flowers from me she wants to think he remembered. But i'd rather her feelings were saved.

It's not my responsibility but i feel bad about it otherwise.
For info. DH is a kind man, but disorganised.

It's his mum, so no. I do remind about birthdays from time to time but he sorts it all. It's his family.

Completely agree with Laiste. It's a small kindness I do for her, one that she won't know about, but it makes me happy to know she will feel loved by her son. And yes, it does sadden me a bit that my husband does not care for his mum that much in general, but that's not something I can do anything about.

I do remind him, but he buys and sends her card. I do it more because his Mum has a really tough life and I want to be sure that she'll get something. She's the sort of person who would never want to be a bother to anyone so she wouldn't complain if she didn't get a card but I know that getting one would make her feel happy.
But DH also reminds me of loads of stuff, so I feel we both help each other in different ways and in the end it works out about equal. He's oblivious to 'occasions', I'm oblivious to when the house insurance needs renewing and many other things. We work as a team to divide and conquer all the things that need doing, rather than be two totally separate individuals who happen to live in the same house.