Do you remind your partner about their own mother on mother's day?

[Laiste]

Or do you just leave them to it?

Do you actually buy the card for him?

Do you feel he should do more but you don't get involved?

Just interested 😊 In our case i remind him, but leave him to it AND think he should do more ...

This post nails it. Same here

That’s not what the OP was saying though. I think most couples are like this, it’s the partners who have to be reminded every year, not the ones who bring it up and talk about things.

No I don't remind him. He usually remembers and gets sth last minute. I might ask him what he has sorted out. Mother's / Father's day is between that parent and their child, don't know why anyone else would get involved, unless the children are very young.

DH's family have never celebrated Mother's Day or Father's Day, which I find a bit strange. Initially I thought he was making it up because he couldn't be arsed, but his siblings confirmed it.

I've never once had to remind my partner about mother's day, fathers day or any of his mum's, dad's or brothers birthdays. His mum reminds him about his grandparents and SIL but he's a grown up and capable of using online calenders to remind him to do things when necessary

I can’t really get on board with that reminding your partner about birthdays and Mother’s Day is being part of a team. There are things that are household that affect everyone and things that are personal. Birthdays etc are personal, they are about me remembering my family members. The only time it would come up
in conversation if it was a big birthday or family gathering.

I’m quite surprised that a couple in a family know all family birthdays, discuss what to get for Christmas, Mother’s Day etc. Must be just the men I know but none of them are like this. I often get the impression however that women do it because they think it is expected and they will get blamed by the other persons family. I’ve never cared about that as I think it’s a reflection of their son, brother etc not me.

I'm a let down. I've bought the card and bought the gifts. My excuse - a friend has a gorgeous card/gift shop and I like spending money in there, I saw something my MIL will love. I love my MIL - I like buying things for her.

DP will get her flowers and he's travelling to see her for the day (not local) and taking her out. He's booked a table. MIL will love an afternoon out with him. (I can join them but I'm on med treatment and not up to meals put)

I like buying gifts so to me it's not a hassle. DP is utterly shit at buying gifts.

I'm low maintenance on those things.

ill take any of the following; hugs kind words/ a card /small gift /washing up done /plate of toast etc...

I sort of like my MIL (she can a pita though) and I wouldn’t want her to be sad on Mother’s Day, so I would always remind him and help him think of something thoughtful. He’s great at being thoughtful for me, but no one else so if I didn’t remind him then she would get nothing, which wouldn’t make me feel very good!

Nope. I don’t do anything for DPs side of the family, entirely up to them to remember sibs or parents b’days or write them a Xmas card or sort out their parents. Just as I do in my side.

both our parents passed many many years ago... so not something we have to worry about.

he does not remind my kids to sort something out for me, they are adults and can think for themselves. however, as they are now parents themselves, we are doing my mothers day lunch on thursday, so they can enjoy whatever their own families have arranged for them on the day.

i would probably have a heart attack if his kids even realise what the day is? i've not received any form of anniversary acknowledgement from his kids in the 13 years we've been together so i wont hold my breath for sunday

I buy two cards one for my mother and one for his, if he wants to get her presents that’s up to him. If we see her I buy her some flowers from our children…she loves that.

Nope. My MIL even asked me what I had planned for Mothers Day and I said 'nothing because my mother is dead'. That wasn't the answer she was expecting!

Why is that weird? Mothering Sunday in its original form is about your church, not your mother. If you’re not Christian it’s just pointless shite invented by card companies. I don’t even know when it is, I’ve never done it with my mum and she doesn’t care for it. even if I did celebrate it I wouldn’t remind my partner - his mum, his responsibility

When my mother was alive and in years I wasn’t going to see her so ordered online, I would order my MIL whatever I was sending my mum.

”I’m getting Mum a bowl of spring bulbs from M&S, do you want me to send some to yours as well?”
That kind of thing.

Beyond that, I would leave him to it. Not my job. If DP and his mother didn’t have a close relationship, that is their thing, not mine.

My DH reminded me this morning! He's very organised with things like this.

My dad refuses to celebrate FD because he says it's a made-up date created by card companies. Whereas MD is Mothering Sunday and celebrated at church so bunches of daffodils are given out. That's all it is to me too. Not a day for presents or days out or anything so I don’t think your DH's family are weird.

No, I don’t.

Was just going to say the same. And also what @BrieHugger said.

He does a lot more practical running around for our mums than I do - lifts, DIY, gardening etc - and I like shopping for lovely gifts, so it’s just sticking to our strengths really.

My DH does a million and one things for me that I don't think of / don't know need doing so why would I not help him out??

As for the comments saying that these men are "giant man babies" (😂). Am I a "giant baby" because I don't know how to change my AdBlue or put new windscreen wipers on?? We work well together as he picks up what I can't / don't want to do and vice versa.

My DH knows it's Mothers Day, birthdays etc. He sorted an amazing trip away for my birthday last year and is extremely thoughtful and caring. But he has a very physically demanding job, commutes 60 miles every day and is currently renovating our house in his spare time. Whereas I'm the one who can WFH so have a bit more flexibility. I love shopping, buying nice gifts and booking days out and holidays so we stick to what we are best at!

What's wrong with that???

No , but I may mention it conversationally as in “ Mother’s Day next Sunday , we need to book the pub”

I’ve bought a card before but only because I was in a boutique shop that my partner would not have time to travel to visit and the wording was unique to that year and what’s we’d been through

his family = his admin

I don't remind him specifically, although his mum and dad have really helped us out with something recently, and DH said we should invite them for a meal to say thank you, and I suggested it be on Mother's Day since that's coming up.

He would not need reminding it's Mother's Day I don't think, though he'd absolutely leave both his mum's present and sorting something for me from DD till the last minute, which is fine as neither of us expect a massive fuss really.

He wouldn't think to get DD to make a card for her though, which is the thing she'd probably like most, so I will do that.

More generally - i.e. not just Mothers Day but other occasions - I do think the gifts he gets for his parents are a bit crap, and with very little thought. My mum is no longer around (nor my dad) but I would always organise quite thoughtful gifts, a really nice card, and make sure the emphasis was on things she'd really appreciate and spending time together. DH is not like that. I don't usually get involved though - there was one time I did actually try to organise something nice for them and it wasn't particularly appreciated and seemed to stress everyone out more than they enjoyed it so I just leave them to their last minute generic gifts and they seem happy enough.

I sort my own mum out, I do ask DH what he wants to get his mum so it's 'his idea' his response yesterday was 'urgh don't even worry about it, ill just get her a bottle of wine'

I did pick her a card up though when I got one for my mum.

DH has a rocky relationship with his mum though so I don't get overly involved.

I sort it. Not because I have to but because I want to. I absolutely adore my MIL so couldn’t imagine standing in the shop choosing a card for my own mother and leaving her out. The same with choosing a gift. DH works very long hours, I don’t work, so I have a lot more time to do these things.

MIL was widowed in January, so I have arranged to take her out for afternoon tea this weekend. That needed to be booked just after FIL died, otherwise we wouldn’t have got a space, and there was no way DH was in a fit state to do that or even think about Mothers Day.

I also absolutely loved my Mother in law RIP and we also would get her a card and gift together. Yes I might have to remind my DH but I would have hated for him to forget. Even now I will say about putting flowers on her grave on Mother’s Day. Mother’s Day for me is about spending some time with my children and my mum, and when she was alive my MIL. Precious memories

I have no involvement. I don’t do anything for my mother on Mother’s Day (her request), so I basically ignore it until my DC give me a card they’ve made at school/nursery.

Yep. I get all the cards, gifts, organise the meal usually (not this year as I’m going away). I’ll get DM’s and leave DH to it.