Do you remind your partner about their own mother on mother's day?

[Laiste]

Or do you just leave them to it?

Do you actually buy the card for him?

Do you feel he should do more but you don't get involved?

Just interested 😊 In our case i remind him, but leave him to it AND think he should do more ...

Misogyny and ageism in one post… you sound just charming. 👏🏻👏🏻 👏🏻 🙄

I do (and also of her birthday etc), for a few reasons.
He personally doesn't care about birthdays etc
He doesn't go to shops much so wouldn't see the displays
I love his mum
Once reminded he is grateful and will make a lot of effort, eg her recent birthday he arranged for them both to go to a show with live music and readings from her favourite poet. So I don't feel like he doesn't care I just think he's shit at remembering.

But I won't remind him of stuff like taxing his car or making appointments because if he misses them then he suffers. I don't want his mum to suffer cos she's nice, and it's not her fault she has three nice but slightly useless boys.

I adore my mother in law, but it’s not my job to sort Mother’s Day for her. My husband also adores her and spends ages thinking about what to get for her. We’re abroad rn, but he has left a card and a gift for our kids to give to her.

I remind DH about mother’s day and his mums birthday cos she’s a wonderful woman. He still ends up ordering her flowers and nothing else at 11pm the day before and they don’t arrive until too late. i don’t remind him of his dad’s events cos i don’t like his dad, so his dad gets nothing from us.

i remind DH to send a text to his nephews and nieces on their birthday. have to remind him a million times and actually watch over him while he does it or it doesn’t get done. Since I told him to take care of their presents/cards a few years ago they don’t get any from us.

Weirdly he is very thoughtful about presents for me and puts loads of time and energy into planning them, keeps a list of things i’ve mentioned liking throughout the year and so on.

But for anyone else (including our own DC) he simply will not do it. I believe if I told him one year he was in charge of DC’s presents he genuinely just wouldn’t get them anything.

I hate it. It’s a huge turn-off as others have said.

I pick her up a card, when I get my mums .. takes about 30 seconds, it really doesn’t bother me.

One of us picks up cards for both mums, usually on the Saturday or even on the Sunday itself.
He buys his mum some flowers or a plant for her allotment or some pots, I order my mum some skincare she likes.
He cooks for all the mums on Mother’s Day, our house has about 25 people sitting down to a Sunday dinner and him and the dc clear up. Win win!

No I don’t remind him.

No I don’t organise anything for him.

I may ask him what he did for his mum after the fact but that is all. It’s not a deliberate act; it’s just not my radar as I’m sorting my own mother out and got enough other stuff on.

No I don’t even though I know he won’t remember/buy anything. It’s not incompetence on his part, it’s very selfish and lazy, it shows a lack of respect and is a reflection of him.

I don’t like the fact that this seems to still, in 2025, seen as what women do. The fact I might like/love my partners family is irrelevant, he knows when their birthdays are and what they like etc. I’ve never heard a man say that they remind their partner of Father’s Day or of their family birthdays however much they may like them. It’s all about some men just not caring, normally about anyone but themselves.

Never in my life reminded Dh to do anything for his family. I’ve never bought a single present or a card for any of them. At most, if I happen to be at the shop, he might message and ask if I can add a bottle of something to the shop for them. He sorts all gifts and cards and wrapping for his family. He also sorts probably 60% of dc’s birthday and Christmas presents, does at least half the wrapping, gets most of the stocking stuffers. Generally, in our family division of labour, I am food, cooking and entertaining, and he is more gifts and wrapping. I’d be shit at gifts anyway. Everyone would get an Amazon voucher and it would almost certainly be late if left to me.

I just did and I'm the bloke! The good lady had no idea........

No. Not at all.

my mum died when I was a teenager and I find it a tough day still.

I’ve asked if we could have a bit of time together this Mother’s Day and go out for a good walk together. Dc are late teens so this is very doable.

DH has said today that he thinks he’ll invite his mum and dad round for lunch. I will still be going out for my walk even if that happens.

I do but only because I adore her and I'm nc with my own mother
He wouldn't forget to get her anything,but I enjoy browsing and choosing her present and card
I'm the same with birthdays and Christmas
He's more than capable of doing it,I just enjoy it more than he does

There would be no way my DH would know Mothers Day was coming up unless I told him. Same with Fathers Day and those pesky pointless May Bank Hols.

He does remember birthdays and Valentines though

No, 11 years together have never done that

I got presents for both mums at the same time. MIL will know it’s me who sorted it but that’s ok as I generally quite like her and she’s a brilliant granny.

Usually I remember, thanks for this…

I hope my own son will remember to send me a card, not his wife...

This thread is a little depressing. It's nothing to do with him being competent or an adult, or this being woman's work, but completely about being a team.

I may ask him if we should do something nice for the mothers for Mother's Day and he'll arrange it or he might be the one to ask me and I'll sort it but regardless, we work as a unit and play to our strengths and weaknesses. I love the sentimentality and ritual of gift-shopping, he does not so may ask me for ideas, I don't like driving, so he will do that.

We are both well-educated, capable adults with demanding jobs and lots of things going on...helping each other in this way does not infantalise the other, it's about sharing the burden of busy and sometimes chaotic lives because we actually love each other.

I used to order the flowers and delivery for Mil in our first few years of marriage.Never a thanks or acknowledgement from her or him, neither cared and I felt like why bother myself? She is very different as a MIL and Grandma,seemingly not interested in either roll so I guess I don't know her really. I don't mention it at all . If nothing happens then nothing happens.I don't care enough .

It’s really depressing that people have to justify their partners forgetting about milestones by saying they are a ‘team’. Teams work together, but they also support each other. My husband and I are a team, we support each other and care for each other. I’m not sure he’d feel that cared for if I needed to be reminded of his birthday. Same with having to remind him about Mother’s Day. I’m a mother so I would be essentially reminding him to make me a card with the children too.

No

My DH reminds me as I am terrible at remembering dates even though I’m a mother myself. I’d hate to be married to some of you from the way you are going on. It’s not just a ‘man’ thing, you know

Nice that this works for you but can you comprehend not everyone's circumstances are the same as yours. Not everyone loves the ritual of gift shopping, for many it's a chore to buy pointless tat that no one actually wants.

My own mum is dead, I am a mum and to be quite honest I don't think MIL has been a very good mum to DH or his siblings so no, I don't get involved. Luckily DH is also a well educated capable adult with a demanding job and yet always manages to remember mother's day and organise gifts by himself. I have never needed to remind him.

I do remind him , his mother is lovely I buy a present when I'm picking my own mothers usually a plant or something small. She buys me a mother's day card too .

Have you met her? She abused my husband throughout his childhood and is an alcoholic. Sorry that I don’t love her!