Sister in law using same baby name

[Funinthesun20]

My sil has just given birth to my beautiful niece she and my brother have practically named the baby the same as my daughter 7.

Im talking close naming, think Grace/Gracie, Sophia/sophie, Rose/Rosie, Isabel/Isabella, Ella/Ellie….

Now, I know no-one has a right to a name and I know I don’t, that’s not what I’m saying, and I’m not even mad, just really confused! Surly when they were looking at names, they thought that one’s just like our nieces, not that one then? Like my husbands nephew is Theo and we liked Leo, but we thought that’s too close so moved on to other names.

Mine and my family’s reaction probably should have been better. But I was in complete shock when they told her name. I wasn’t rude, but my face said it all!

But the way they (sil and brother) are now acting as if they don’t have a clue why anyone would comment/react. As a lot of people are, as in family friends, wider family, even my work colleagues. Even my daughter is a bit confused “why does the baby have almost the same name as me?”
My mum is now laughing about having to list her grandchildren and say two with practically identical names!

I don’t know the point to this post I’m just…. Venting.

My Great Nan had eight children - five of them have a son called John, two have a son called Michael and the other was child free. It never caused any problems - it was just accepted - though as I got older and thought about it it did seem weird. Maybe that was just how it was in the 50s/60s.

It’s not even the same name! And the fact you think Theo and Leo are similar makes me think you are not reasonable.
You also sound very rude about it all, you say they could see your reaction on your face and you clearly have been discussing it in a negative way with your mum and even your daughter. The glimpse this gives into your family dynamic is quite unkind.

Really? You think there are currently multiple new baby ‘Gracies’ whose dad’s sister has a daughter called ‘Grace’?

I'd tell your Mum not to worry. I often have to point at the grandchild I mean because I've given up, trying to remember, after saying the wrong name for the third time. You know, what's-her-face, the eldest one? It comes to us all.

I mean, I wouldn't do it myself but it's not the end of the world, they are still 2 separate names.

The part that makes me eye roll is always the faux wide eyed "confused" child in these stories - in reality a 7 year old would probably say "hey that's like my name!" and then think no more of it but no, they're always so "confused" as if this adds weight to the horror of the 'crime' 🙄

My cousin and I have the same name with the same spelling and growing up had same surname. I don't think my dad's brother ever caused a stink or worried about it in the least. I like having the same name as her and we were called big notmydaughter and little notmydaughter by the family at events when we were together.

Why does the title blame Sil but not db?

When I was young 30s this would have annoyed me.

But now I’m older? Not at all. I don’t see the big deal and I’d take it as a compliment.

i understand where your coming from OP my SIL/BIL did the same thing, one letters difference and a rhyming name between my DS and DN’there’s 1.5 years age gap between the oldest 2 and 2.5 between the oldest and youngest (mine being the oldest one), also we’re a very close family so see each other on average 2/3 times a week socially and all 5 children are in the same school within 3 school years. Same surname too 😅 it’s complex shouting the three girls put it that way 🤣 obviously we never said anything but plenty of other friends and family made comments.

I don't know. We have no idea what the name is. If it's Wren I'm guessing thousands.

Don't understand the issue at all.

A name is just a collection of letters.

They've probably always liked the name so why shouldn't they use it

I'm baffled by people saying it's no big deal - genuinely can't believe people can't see the issue. It's so weird!

I would be a bit annoyed but it depends how similar the names actually are. Someone on here previously was annoyed with Amelia and Amelie which are two completely different names so that wouldn't be an issue. If it is Grace and Gracie then yes that's a bit strange but it might have been a name they always wanted to use and they might have felt annoyed at you years ago when you picked it.
Ultimately there is nothing you can do. Your own daughter saying that's like my name is not going to be a big deal unless you make it into one (simply say yes it is to acknowledge it, say they must really like it and then move on). It's also not like they are the same age so will be at school together for people to notice cousins with the same name.
It's ok to feel frustrated about it but then you need to move on (also not sure why you are ganging up with your mum, is this another I hate my in laws type post, in this case SIL, as like others have mentioned your brother surely had an input in the name and if really bothered maybe you could talk to him about it and say how upset you are).

I don't understand why people apparently don't understand. They've done this because they care more about having the name they want than they do about what your child is called.

I do think it’s weird given how many names are out there but depends a bit on what exactly the names are. Some very similar spelt names have a very different feel and lots of shortening’s. Like if yours is Isabelle known as Izzy and they are going for Isabella known as Bella its not as bad or yours is Lucy and theirs is Luca also not as bad as say Lottie and Lotte. But you should be blaming your brother and not your SIL.

I’d just laugh it off. Their clearly can’t think for themselves. Let them be ridiculous.

A fuss about nothing. Let them be happy with the name they choose for their dc. It isn't about you.

I have the same name as two cousins. Never given me a minute of bother.

Bloke at work has six cousins with the same name as him! (Mohammed). Same surname too. They just use nicknames.

I always find it completely weird when people do things outside the norm and don’t acknowledge it. Sometimes it’s just the acknowledgment that you need. ‘We know the name is so similar to your little Grace, but we’ve always loved the name Gracie/it’s my godmothers name/always been my girl baby name’ or whatever. Doesn’t need an apology but the glossing over it would annoy me more than the name.

I don't think it's the name that's the actual issue but the principal behind the choice... For anybody that hasn't had a friend or family member copying their choices and been a victim of "oneupmanship" then this seems a non issue but those of us who have had this happen - it's really weird..

My SIL got exactly the same nail design 1 week after I did, I got my hair dipped dyed copper, she got it dip dyed red.... I set up a business and she set up the exact same business 3 months later, we bought a car in the Oct, they did in Nov, We got a new front door, they got a new front door... I booked a holiday to Morocco, suddenly they were going to Morocco...

It's weird so I can understand how the name choice would upset the OP although my advice is to not dwell on it otherwise it starts to consume you and the relationship breaks down very very quickly after that.

Take care OP x

If they were exactly the same name I might raise an eyebrow but you've said they're similar, so it wouldn't bother me at all.
I think it's mad that you didn't use Leo because you thought it was too similar to Theo!

Exactly instead of taking it as a compliment or a nice thing its been taken as some kind of crime against humanity.

@Funinthesun20 what is the reason you're so shocked?what does this mean to you because I think you need to focus on what's important which is, there is a new baby in the family and instead of being negative about a name you could take it as a sign of an extra bond the two cousins might share with their names being so close. Honestly you're the aunt, start acting like one. And your heading is awful by the way.. putting all the weight on your sil. Typical of sisters of brothers.

My BF told me decades ago that she and her DH had found another name for their son when DH and I used their all time favourite and intended name for our son. We didn't know. I've never understood why she didn't use their favourite name. We wouldn't have minded in the slightest.

I think it's a non issue.

I have two cousins with the same name (born in 1950s). I have never even considered it was odd. People are so touchy about this sort of thing nowadays. It's not important.

🤐 yh "big Soph" lovely name for a girl/teen/early 20's woman - should fill her with confidence

As for the original issue no. It wouldnt bother me. Yes it's a bit strange these days though. Yes I'd avoid it myself but get others wouldnt care