Sister in law using same baby name

[Funinthesun20]

My sil has just given birth to my beautiful niece she and my brother have practically named the baby the same as my daughter 7.

Im talking close naming, think Grace/Gracie, Sophia/sophie, Rose/Rosie, Isabel/Isabella, Ella/Ellie….

Now, I know no-one has a right to a name and I know I don’t, that’s not what I’m saying, and I’m not even mad, just really confused! Surly when they were looking at names, they thought that one’s just like our nieces, not that one then? Like my husbands nephew is Theo and we liked Leo, but we thought that’s too close so moved on to other names.

Mine and my family’s reaction probably should have been better. But I was in complete shock when they told her name. I wasn’t rude, but my face said it all!

But the way they (sil and brother) are now acting as if they don’t have a clue why anyone would comment/react. As a lot of people are, as in family friends, wider family, even my work colleagues. Even my daughter is a bit confused “why does the baby have almost the same name as me?”
My mum is now laughing about having to list her grandchildren and say two with practically identical names!

I don’t know the point to this post I’m just…. Venting.

It's strange behaviour. There are thousands of names out there, why on earth would they pick the same albeit shortened name as a niece. The fact that they are trying to play it down makes them look silly too. They should just admit to it. They are a laughing stock now.

It’s mark. I call him Marky

I really don't understand why you are so upset. Seems a bit ridiculous to me.

A laughing stock? Really?

We've a Luke and a Luca in our family and absolutely nobody batted an eyelid!

Of course they are not a laughing stock! Why would they be? Ridiculous response.

My mother was pregnant with my younger sibling at exactly the same time as her cousin was also expecting. Both babies were girls. They both gave them the same name. No confusion ever and no laughing stock. Nobody bothered about it at all, least of all the two children concerned.

Calling them a laughing stock implies that you think people not directly involved care enough about it to have a strong opinion. They don't.

There might be thousands of other names out there, but maybe they didn't like any other names. Should they have given their child a name they didn't like?

Some will think it’s fine others won’t. I agree with you, it’s a little strange. I suppose it s a compliment in a way. We actually liked a name for our second daughter and it was basically a letter or 2 different from my niece. So that was not going on the list.

Not quite the same but I knew someone who named their child with a name very like their surname. Think Peter Peterson, John Johnson. Everyone found it very strange but hey ho, each to their own!

My mum and her niece had the same name so they were always known as Big Jan and Little Jan!!

Calling them a laughing stock implies that you think people not directly involved care enough about it to have a strong opinion. They don't.

'Strong' is subjective, but people who are not directly involved will laugh. I never met or knew George Foreman, and he seemed like a reasonably nice guy from all reports; but I still laugh at the absurdity of his naming 6 of his 12 children after himself. I've no idea what Phil, Gary and Tracey Neville's grandparents were like, but I still find them ridiculous for calling their son Neville, when that was already his surname as well.

It may well be that people couldn't care less what others think about their choice; but that still doesn't stop them from laughing at them for it.

That's another one I really do not get: the whole giving your child a first name as same as (or virtually so) as their surname.

For me, it just brings to mind Richard Richard - an absurd character from The Young Ones and Bottom who was deliberately created as a sad figure for people to laugh at.

Lucky you arent in my family - i have cousins called Sharon, Karen, Darren and Aaron 😅
They are known as the Rons

I get it, they really liked/loved the name and went with it anyway. But having a close family member with an extremely similar name would just put me off. I would want my child to have their own name, different to anyone else in the family. But hey that’s just me (and you obviously), not everyone thinks the same.
Maybe look at it the other way, and take it as flattering that they must be so amazed by your daughter and love her and her name so much, that they want to name their daughter after her!!! Your daughter can tell her little cousin that she is named after her, your SIL and brother can’t exactly disagree with a 7 year old and hurt her feelings can they 😉

It's a compliment - it means she likes your daughter and her name. We never use names that are linked to people we don't like. Anyway, you don't have exclusive rights to a name, and your daughter will undoubtedly find herself in company of people with the same name as her many times in her life. I did some school exam invigilation a couple of years ago; there were 8 Chloes in the hall, 5 Louises and lots of names with 3 or 4 representatives.Get used to it!

But that's not the same thing at all.

Anyone who meets a Neville Neville will be aware of what his name is.

Anyone who goes to the same school as your kids will know if you have given two or more of your kids the same first name.

Almost nobody will know and even fewer people will give a crap about what your children's cousins are called.

Yes. Most people they encounter won't know, even fewer will give a fuck. Some of those who do know and take any interest will think the first set of parents actually caring is what's stupid. They're in no way, shape or form a laughing stock now.

@Lolalady There's nothing wrong with names like Peter Peterson, John Johnson etc. I know many people with names like that.
It's irrelevant to the thread.

@BeholdOurButterStinketh , Neville Neville had an unbelievably cool name.

@EcruCardigan

I don't see why talking about Peter Peterson-type names is irrelevant to this discussion - especially on AIBU.

Presumably, people with those names were also given them by their parents - who knew what their surname was going to be.

Yes, lots of people have those names - just like there are lots of people in the same family who share names. Some people obviously like them; some don't - but I don't see an issue with discussing our opinions on them - especially if we're thinking from the point of view of the person given those names and whether we would like, dislike or not care about having a similar name ourselves.

I know what you mean about Neville Neville, mind. Whilst it can be argued that it potentially shows a distinct lack of imagination, that doesn't stop me having an alternative version of David Bowie's 'Rebel Rebel' going around in my head every time I see or hear mention of his name!!

@BeHere , but people will know. Cousins often mix in the same community, and you end up with 'You're Chloe, Chloe's cousin'

@BeholdOurButterStinketh , because it is different. Steve Stevens will be Steve at home and to his relatives, but if Steve had a cousin also called Steve/Steven,there will be 2 cousins with the same name, which is OP's situation.

I think that laughing about it with your mother is just cruel and OTT.

Completely speculative. The information the OP gives doesn't allow us to conclude one way or another how much they're going to mix in the same community circles, or even if they live near each other.

Even if they're in quite close proximity, they still aren't going to all do exactly the same thing all the time, with people who know both couples and both children. Odds are they probably have different surnames too. So it's more of a Claire Jones and Clara Smith than a Chloe and Chloe.

And again, even of those who do know, some won't give a fuck and some would find it more laughable that OP is this bothered.

Oh, I realise it's different from OP's scenario, but I (and the PP, I believe) are just talking in general terms about baby name choices that we personally (and others obviously disagree, which is fine) find rather strange.

I think a lot of it hangs on how the mother was laughing. If it was a mocking 'aren't they stupid' kind of laughter, then that was definitely uncalled for; but it's far from uncommon for people to laugh a bit nervously or defensively at odd circumstances - even if they've been set up by design and aren't an accident of nature.

If I were the DM, I would want to be able to talk about, write cards and present labels for and refer to my DGC individually, in their own right. I wouldn't be very chuffed at having to now use a surname (or parental reference point) regularly for two of my own DGC - just like I don't have surnames in my phone contacts for family members. It may be of no consequence for some, but I wouldn't like it.

Not quite the same thing, but I was once at a pub quiz - with an extra prize for the best team name - and there were two teams with virtually the same (not very original and quite bonkers) name. One was called 'No Eye Dear" and the other was "No Eye Deer". The quizmaster had to keep overemphasising "Dee-aaaaarrr" and "Dee-uuuuurrr" and it was so irritating and rather cringeworthy. That was just for one forgettable evening; not for two close family members' entire lives.

Yes they are, OP and her DM are laughing about it and you can be sure others are saying the same. There are thousands of other names , it sounds more like jealousy to me.

I'd judge far more the Op and dm laughing about it, if you mean nasty laughing at the sil, than the sil for using a "similar" name.
And as others have said, most people won't know both so won't be making any thought whatsoever on it.

Why is the answer to everything "jealousy"? I cannot see any way this would be seen as jealousy, except from the Op to the sil. Sil has chosen a name she likes, maybe with a special meaning, that's not being jealous. If anything you could say she thought so little about the names being similar she didn't even realise. That's the opposite of jealous.