Sister in law using same baby name

[Funinthesun20]

My sil has just given birth to my beautiful niece she and my brother have practically named the baby the same as my daughter 7.

Im talking close naming, think Grace/Gracie, Sophia/sophie, Rose/Rosie, Isabel/Isabella, Ella/Ellie….

Now, I know no-one has a right to a name and I know I don’t, that’s not what I’m saying, and I’m not even mad, just really confused! Surly when they were looking at names, they thought that one’s just like our nieces, not that one then? Like my husbands nephew is Theo and we liked Leo, but we thought that’s too close so moved on to other names.

Mine and my family’s reaction probably should have been better. But I was in complete shock when they told her name. I wasn’t rude, but my face said it all!

But the way they (sil and brother) are now acting as if they don’t have a clue why anyone would comment/react. As a lot of people are, as in family friends, wider family, even my work colleagues. Even my daughter is a bit confused “why does the baby have almost the same name as me?”
My mum is now laughing about having to list her grandchildren and say two with practically identical names!

I don’t know the point to this post I’m just…. Venting.

It used to be the case that people followed naming traditions after other family members.

So John and Mary had 5 children and all their children had their own children named John and Mary.

Now we find it weird to do similar.

Funny how times change.

It’s totally fine. It wasn’t worth creating a post never mind any additional thought.

You mean your brother has named his child a similar name?

non event

"Why does the baby have my name?"
"Because it's a gorgeous name."

There, solved.

???

This is a non-issue. Loads of kids have friends who have identical or near identical names, it’s no different to that. Plus they could have chosen the name years ago or have some sentimental attachment to it. Anyway it is what it is, smile and move on.

I think its odd OP.Seems Im in the minority though! I think this seems to happen a lot.My friend called her son the exact same name as my DS! I was surprised but my Son thought it was great.My friends had their in laws name their DS almost the same .as in Steve think Stevie type of thing.There are so many pretty names for girls

It does seem strange when there are thousands of names to choose from. Is the name special in some way to them? ( grandmother, late aunt)
I had two cousins, brother and sister, who called their children identical names. And it was the most popular baby name for both the years they were born so not as thought it was unique.

My brother and my female cousin have very similar names, the short version is the same.
And actually when I think about my son had a similar name to his cousin. Not the same but of a similar vein.
Maybe it's a cultural thing for me so i completely get if it's not the done thing in your family it's a bit odd. There's 3 people in my family with my name, but we are all of different generations to be fair.

Where it’s a family name that’s been used in previous generations I get it. My cousin’s daughter shares my name which is a family name. Her daughter has the female version of my dad’s name. But where someone just uses virtually the same name their sibling chose then I think it’s very weird and shows a total lack of imagination and forethought if the cousins will see a lot of each other. In this situation it just seems odd.

Realistically, a child's 'nickname' in this scenario - especially when they're little - is going to just be in relation to their parents, particularly if they share a surname with the other child with the same/very similar name.

It's not enough for you to just be known as Grace in the family - it's going to be 'Sue & Tom's Grace'.

Your surname is already a clear subtle link to your family, but now you also have to be mentioned in terms of who your parents are, as your name alone is not sufficient to clearly identify you within your own family.

I think it’s fine. They are not characters in your show, they are their own family with their own lives.
my brothers kids name is George and we were thinking of naming one of our kids Georgina, it’s only occurred to me because of this thread that they’re even similar, because people just think about their own child and family when naming their kid. You’re not at the centre of their world or fire front of their minds and that’s normal.

Yeah, I think it’s weird. But then, both my mum and her sister wanted my unusual name for their first daughter and I was older than my cousin, so my aunt called my cousin something different.

And my parents decided not to call my brother the name they originally chose because they knew so many babies called that, and they thought he would be one of three or four in a class.

So my family like people to have different names - but we all end up ‘family’ middle names. 😊

We have a very similar situation in my family...my sister's daughter and my brother's daughter the same name bar one syllable. It's a total non-issue. I think when the second girl was born there was a moment of 'they are very similar names...I hope it won't be confusing'. It's not. They are teenagers now and the names actually sound more different as they have got older because one is associated with one girl and the other is associated with the other girl and they have very different personalities.

I can understand that if your DB and SIL absolutely loved the name and they considered other names but no other came close, then I would use it too.

It's not enough for you to just be known as Grace in the family - it's going to be 'Sue & Tom's Grace'.

This is the point, surely? Yes - it happens in extended families and people marry people who may well have the same name. So we often talk about “Paul’s Louise” to distinguish her from “Nick’s Louise”. And that’s….what it is. And it doesn’t matter all that much and, obviously, when we are with Paul we just talk about “Louise” rather than “your Louise” because the context is obvious. But I don’t know why anyone would do that on purpose! As a pp said, the point of a name is to identify someone; surely you want your child to be easily identifiable within her own immediate family?

My cousin who's about 6 years younger has almost the exact name as me (similar to sophie/sophia similarity with same middle name and surname) but her mum asked first if my mum minded and she also lives quite far away so it wasn't really an issue. My SIL considered a name that sounds similar to my daughters and she did say to me, I didn't mind but she didn't go with it anyway.

I think it's the fact they didn't ask you first, definitely weird just to go with it and not say anything.

My dada and step mum named their DD very similar to my name. I was 7. I remember wondering why, but I've grown up and realized they were a bit stupid but otherwise it's had no impact on mine or dsis lives.

I think it’s weird. I wouldn’t care if it was a cousins kid, or some other relative I never see, but my own brother naming his kid the same/very similar - I think that’s so strange.

Really? Seems pretty blooming obvious.

OP -
YANBU about the name
YABU about putting your SIL as the main blame, and not your brother, even if you didnt mean to it to come across like that - it does.

Ignore and move on.

Didn't your brother have say in naming his baby too?

Venting is fine. i´m called like my mother (and a first cousin), my brother is called like my dad, my grandad and two of our first cousins. Nobody gets the wrong person. So this wouldn´t bother me in the slightest. You can´t control other people, only how you react to things. So frame it as "imitation is the sincerest form of flattery". Like when I met a lady wearing the same dress as me. Your taste is exquisite I told her. She had the grace to laugh.

I can't see why you're so annoyed about this. The title says it's the same name but your post says it isn't. I get that you're saying it's very similar but still not the same.

Your SIL could have had any number of reasons for choosing that name. Maybe she wanted to honour a relative. I wanted to name my DD a similar name to her paternal cousin, to honour my late mother. The only reason we ended up choosing a different name was because my ILs named their dog something very similar to the name I wanted for DD. Similarity with our niece's name wouldn't have stopped me.

It's weird as fuck but nothing you can do.