To feel scared about having kids, especially boys, after watching Adolescence on Netflix?

[ByCheekyDreamer]

Just watched Adolescence on Netflix and it honestly terrified me. Seeing what teenagers, especially boys, go through in today’s world - social media, peer pressure, mental health struggles - makes me wonder how anyone navigates parenting without constant fear. Am I overthinking or do others feel the same?

I completely agree. I have two DDs and one DS and I feel like I have a handle on what the girls need and I can guide them through adolescence. But I don’t feel I know how to navigate my son growing up. It really scares me. It’s like a world I don’t really understand now.

Well, your first red flag would be allowing your 13 year old child to be out at 2230.

Beyond that, not introducing social media before a certain age, not allowing unrestricted access to the internet and trying to keep lines of communication open.

It’s a hard one though, I agree.

YANBU, me and my DH are aware of the minefield we've got coming with the teenage years.
We're going to try keeping our DC distracted with activities they enjoy and limited screen time.

"Seeing what teenagers, especially boys, go through in today’s world - social media, peer pressure, mental health struggles"

Especially boys?

Honestly, I think you are being ridiculous.

I have one of each, there is no difference, you just have to ensure you do actual interact with your children. No

Actually not "actual".

Very few children go on to murder anyone. Parenting is hard but mostly works out fine.

My son is almost 13. He would not be allowed to wander the streets at 10.30pm. He is home for 8 at the latest in the summer holidays. I have parental controls on his phone which I monitor. I think it’s a scary world with the social media influences for both boys and girls. However, if you ensure you have consistent, age appropriate boundaries and interact with your child as much as possible then I think you will likely be ok. The child in the tv show spent his time alone on screens, unmonitored and wandered around the streets late at night with his parents not knowing where he was from what I’ve seen.

I completely understand, it’s definitely an eye opener. Too many parents rely on screens just to keep kids quiet, and I’ve seen it with our nephews and nieces. It’s concerning how it's affected their social skills! They're not interested in playing with toys or interacting with others. Hopefully, more parents will take note and start focusing on balancing screen time with teaching children right from wrong. While limiting screen time is important, gentle parenting doesn’t always succeed. Children need firm guidance, structure, and discipline for their growth and development especially during their teenage years

Bizarre that you’re more worried about having a boy when it’s the girl who got stabbed to death.

Why? Could you explain please? Also surely it's quite sensible to have some concerns.

Yes, because the programme really highlighted the struggles boys face with things like toxic masculinity, peer pressure, and mental health. But obviously, all teenagers deal with challenges - it’s just that this particular programme made me think more about boys’ experiences.

It's pretty clear that the OP is concerned about parenting a boy to ensure that this does not happen. She isn't prioritising boys over girls.

Yes, this is a strange moral panic that appears to be caused by a fictional story. What's going on?

How many boys are stabbing girls to death? Are there other risk factors?

My DC are late teen and mid and I was a gentle parent by most measures, they played with toys all the time, in fact that's mostly what they did as children as well as read loads of books, as well write scripts and perform Julia Donaldson stories. They are so far removed from the concerns raised by the drama. They do go online but it isn't an issue.

I'm more worried for my daughter. When my sons were getting ready for secondary I didn't have to talk to them about which routes (in our safe leafy suburb) were safe walking routes.

Stopping your child being awful is fairly easy. Lay good foundations, instill good values, spend lots of time with them. Encourage them into decent hobbies and teach them to think critically. No way our 14 year old boys are out at 10.30. They are both getting ready for bed after an evening involving time with friends after school, some kind of sport.or hobby, a family dinner, chores and homework and some gaming or TV with parents. I asked my son if any of his peer group looked up to the likes of Andrew Tate and he was totally horrified at the suggestion, they can see that line of thinking is idiotic.

Protecting your children from others, particularly protecting your daughter from men, feels scarier.

Gentle parenting doesn't mean not having boundaries.

I over heard a girl the other day, worried about a serious issue her friend was going to, chatting it through with her dance teacher and saying how her own mum was lovely but friends mum was very strict and friend would "rather die" than tell her strict mum. The solution they settled on was that the girl would tell her own lovely mum and get her lovely mum to help the girl out

(Nb they knew I was there, I was working in a corner of the room)

I should add, the toys as in Playmobil, Lego, Sylvanians, Peter Rabbit were mostly about setting up storylines, using their imaginations, my focus was always on developing the imagination as this is (IMO) what leads to intelligent kids who can think for themselves and don't seek out validation on the internet.

@Holdmeclosecooedthedove what point are you trying to make? Nobody is suggesting all boys stab girls or that there aren't multiple risk factors.

You know it's fiction not a documentary?

Yes we played lots of imaginary games together and read lots of books together and also talked (and still do) talk lots together.

Setting them up with other role models too, my brother who is successful in exactly the kind of field they hero worship for instance I make sure they spend time with him and I also make sure they know he did his homework and that I think he is great as much for his kindness as his success

Yes, because the programme really highlighted the struggles boys face with things like toxic masculinity, peer pressure, and mental health

And who do you think suffer the consequences of that exactly?

Thank gid someone said it 😅