To feel scared about having kids, especially boys, after watching Adolescence on Netflix?

[ByCheekyDreamer]

Just watched Adolescence on Netflix and it honestly terrified me. Seeing what teenagers, especially boys, go through in today’s world - social media, peer pressure, mental health struggles - makes me wonder how anyone navigates parenting without constant fear. Am I overthinking or do others feel the same?

Teen boy rage towards girls is nothing new, at all. Many of us have horror stories.

I've got a son who's 18 next week, and a 16 YO daughter.

I spoke to them both VERY EARLY about the interwebz and the effect it could have.

Very early, 10/11 pre-puberty.

They are both very Internet savvy and open about the world.

So, I say, talk to your children.

Don't lie or pretend.

Speak to them.

Yep.

And that's something to talk about with sons and daughters.

Where does it end?

I have to say though @ByCheekyDreamer, it was the fictional dead girl that really suffered though wasn't it?

As a parent of a son and a daughter.

Who was really suffering...

Yes, weird how murder is regular telly entertainment.

Did Inspector Morse put you off visiting Oxford? Or Grantchester make Cambridge seem a no go zone? All fiction, of course.

We do seem to have more and more gruesome killings these days. I’ve not seen any statistics comparing them to the past. I do think the internet is fuelling this.

Having teenage kids can be tough. But even so most kids will be OK.

It really is a lesson on how not to parent but much of it is common sense. My 10 year old son isn’t allowed devices in his room and most certainly isn’t allowed out in the evening until 10.30. I have friends with kids the same age whose boys have gaming stations in their rooms, up until 2am and do what they like at that time. It’s always baffled me - these are sensible people!

I haven’t RTFT and don’t have sons!
I also haven’t had a chance to watch adolescence yet! So my tuppance worth might not be helpful.

I see lots of young kids out til late round here, messing around on their bikes. Often until late. I guess what we try to do is keep the kids occupied with activities, spend time with them and monitor screen time.

Why would you say 'especially boys' when the girl literally got stabbed to death?

YANBU to reflect on parenting - your own choices and those made by the parents in the show. I have a teenage boy and we watched some of it together which was very interesting. DH and I noticed immediately that the children were out of the house at 10pm on a school night and the unsupervised internet access with no time limits which are both poor parenting mistakes - but the provocative factors of the show are that these parents aren't overtly 'bad' - they are loving, caring, try to do their best but ultimately they dropped several balls. But we all drop balls at times and most of our children don't turn into murderers.

I have boys aged 15 and 19. I would genuinely say that my brother had a tougher time at school in the 80s (in terms of bullying etc) than my sons have had.

You must live in a bit of a bubble then because it's really, really common

I have a DD, I’m quite worried about the pornification (choking etc) of our society, how many men get away with violence towards women. Scares the shit out of me. I follow someone on twitter who notes male violence, the number of men who inflict extreme violence on partners and get away with suspended sentences is fucking shocking. In the UK you can rape a woman or beat her half to death and not expect much of a punishment.

Not round here. I had late work meetings around once a week till recently and never saw young teens roaming around

This is an overreaction because there has always been peer pressure, bullying, misogyny for generations. Only difference for you is you've just watched a TV show about it. Obviously the human race hasn't died out because people are too scared to have children OR we aren't suddenly building more youth detention centres because of a spike in youth crime. Law and Order SVU has been a hit tv show since the early 90s with horrific crimes committed against and by children and hasn't caused a population dip.

It's good to be aware of the issues youngsters face and think of how to help them navigate it but getting anxious about it will only create fear responses in both parents and adults. A child who will murder isn't doing it just because of bad parenting, it's because they're wired wrong and there's not a lot anyone can do to stop it. We can't control the children we get.

Most children don't murder or rape people - so it's irrational to think a dramatised fictional story should be taken so seriously.

It was inspired by true incidents that the writer then researched.

Do you live in a particularly well off area?

Its odd to worry about 'especially boys' and what they 'go through' after watching a drama where a girl was murdered. You are more likely to have a daughter who us abused, exploited and harmed, in person and via the Internet than you are to have a son who becomes a murderer. At least with our sons we can excercise some influence to prevent them joining the lists of perpetrators. With our daughters, we simply have to hope they're not in the wrong place at the wrong time.

I have two DS and I'm not afraid at all because I know what they are watching on their devices (parental control and I sometimes have a peek at their messages (they know this) which are all centered around video games. But most importantly we talk about everything ; sexism, racism, you name it. And they love and respect me and I'm a woman, all women, all girls. That's what I told them: a nasty comment/opinion on girls will hurt me deeply. They are also "allowed" to cry and we put no labels on what a boy/girl should be like.

https://happyfamilies.com.au/articles/review-of-adolescence-netflix

You are very naive if you really think boys aren't victims too

I think some of the comments here reflect part of the problem.

As a society we are letting down our young boys. We don't seem to see there is a need to protect them just as much as girls. Boys are vulnerable to toxic online debate, low self esteem, etc. We can protect girls by looking at the reasons why boys are turning towards this toxicity.

Extremely rare incidents. No need to make it into a true documentary on society in your head. In that case we could talk about all nurses wanting to kill our children inspired by Lucy Letby. Makes No sense.

Really?

I don't think it's that common in 2025.

Says it all, really. Open your eyes.

I enjoyed the programme and found it thought provoking but don’t relate to the hysteria from some people about it. Our school is absolutely nothing like the one that was portrayed, nor is my son. My 15 year old is not out until 10pm wandering the streets (he wouldn’t be allowed to do that at any time), we have strict tech rules including no social media, no phones in bedrooms. He attends a structured activity 2 times a week that often has stuff on weekends that takes up a lot of his time and gives him purpose and confidence. I know the parents of his friends.

I do think what was portrayed is avoidable with engaged parenting, I think what the portrayed was what can happen in 2025 with the way the world is now (especially tech) if you try to parent like we did in the 80s and 90s.

We?

We, are doing nothing.

I think it's incumbent upon men to not be arses.

And if we're talking about the 'manosphere', women can't actually influence that, because the whole thing is how terrible women are.

So, there's a small window of opportunity to influence your sons, if they may vulnerable to such shite.