Please, please, please put away your phones...

[User63859]

Just witnessed a mother (and father) totally ignore their 18 month old (ish) child on the tube. Both of them totally engrossed in their phones. The baby was sat up in a buggy, awake (at 11pm but that's another issue) and had moments of trying to get their mother's attention. At one point the child leaned out of the buggy and buried its head in its mother's lap.

Not even a flinch from the mother. So concerned with scrolling (looking at a fashion website fwiw), she literally didn't even make eye contact.

It was heartbreaking. What are we doing to our children? Before all the late night trolls start piling in I'm not saying I'm a perfect parent, we all have our weaknesses, but witnessing this has literally made me so so sad. I think what made me even sadder is the fact the baby just seemed to accept it. They tried to get the smallest acknowledgment from their mother, failed so just sat there staring into space. Oh, and watching their mother prioritise a bit of metal over them.

Please, for the love of whatever, put away your phones. We all like a scroll and a moan on mumsnet but do it when your kids are in bed. I'm so tired of seeing all this shit parenting and worrying about what a messed up world my son is going to grow up in.

To those that are guilty of this, one day you will long for these days back again and by then it will be too late and you'll be wondering why your kids need so much therapy.

Be better, please.

It's not.

It's just simple, basic parenting from someone who gives a shit.

I could see her phone 🙄

I agree!
But I am a little too old to be a prime candidate for full on phone addiction.
Lets not forget that vast sums of money & time are spent to make the various platforms as compelling/addictive as possible. Not to condone ignoring your infant child in favour of your phone . . . but lots of humans are not able to withstand the siren song!

I agree. We don’t know what’s been going on in other people’s lives.

Though agree with the sentiment OP, phones should generally be out of sight around kids, as they learn from our behaviour.

I completely agree. My grandson is a year old and I’d be heartbroken if this was his story. I’m sick of hearing the excuses people make for EVERYTHING nowadays. Many people are making huge, selfish mistakes with their children. It’s not being cruel or rude to state this as a fact.

Those twisting themselves into a pretzel to excuse neglectful parenting are a major source of entertainment, I must admit 🤣

I just want to see how far they can go.

I think claiming that we all spring into action whenever our DC requests our attention, at any time of day or night and not doing so is neglect is ridiculous.

One of my DCs I would comfort. The other I would leave if they weren't upset as they would fight sleep when over tired.

Of course it wouldn't. It's still ignoring a child's needs. That's not as clever as you think it is.

So let me clarify one of your children if upset you’d ‘leave’ them )ignore them and go on your phone?
thats so fucking weird

I think claiming that we all spring into action whenever our DC requests our attention, at any time of day or night and not doing so is neglect is ridiculous.

Yeah that would be.

And if anyone joins the thread to claim this, I'll be the first to tell them I think they're being ridiculous.

But for now, it's best to stick to things that have actually been said?

You're absolutely right OP. I have a 2 year old and I am extremely conscious of my phone use around DD.

The OP hasn't said at any point that the child was upset. I barely use my phone infront of DC, but it's a redherring here. Parents have always ignored over tired DC as a method of them giving in to sleep.

The only people trotting out the "snapshot" and "let the child sleep" bullshit are the neglectful parents who do it themselves. They're clutching at straws. We see them...

I have no experience of my own parents, my peers or myself ‘ignoring’ a tired child, sorry you’re on your own there

I agree, some people see threads like this as the OP holding a mirror up to them.

Ah here! What in the name...

All these posters making comments about the type of day the parents could have had need to just grow the fuck up. That child didn’t ask to be born! You became parents and regardless of what kind of day your young child is awake and wanting their parents attention. You do not get to pick & choose when you will be present. How sad that, that Mother was more interested in her phone than her child. For all of you coming up with these lame excuses you have one chance, you don’t get to do a do over. All of these moments may seem unimportant to you now but this will just be the start & you will keep repeating that mistake until your children have grown up & left home. They will have their children and for them they don’t want to be absent parents like you all were and will give their own children the attention and love they craved for and you may think you will be able to make up for all of that with your grandchildren but your own children will not let you take over because why should they miss out on their children growing up just to make you feel better about the mistakes you made by placing more importance on a metal object than your own flesh & blood.

do you know that mother and father’s day? They may have had a hell if a day , they may have been traveling for hours , they may have been working . I can think of 20 reasons why they might have bended to be on their phone , and about 100 why the child was not in bed . I can think of nil reasons why someone should make it their business to be nasty about it

The OP is discussing child neglect.

It's worrying that you can't see that.

You said there is literally no reason you would ever be out with a DC at 11pm, I gave common examples. This thread is ridiculous.

Sorry what were the common reasons?