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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

She ordered a Curry and hasn’t paid me

792 replies

OnePeachA · 22/03/2025 20:51

Friend came to my house

I was going to cook but she asked if I fancied a curry. I said that would be really nice actually

Her JustEat app wasn’t working so I said have a look on mine for places that are open. She picked Indian.

I put everything I wanted in and she added hers. Total came to £52ish. Over 65% of that cost was hers.

I said I could just check out and sort it later. I have messaged to ask if she had the money today as a gentle reminder, and she said she thought it was my treat?

I said oh, we must have got crossed wires then. She said ‘I did cover the shop’

She went to the corner shop for wine and snacks. I got a Grape Fanta!

Where do I go from here? Leave it? Was it reasonable for her to assume it was in fact my treat?

OP posts:
TheShadowOfTheWizard · 23/03/2025 03:08

Thursa · 23/03/2025 03:02

What’s a sweet naan?

Peshwari nan. Made with coconut and sometimes raisins. And almonds. If you get a good one, it's magnifico.

doodahdayy · 23/03/2025 03:45

She’s got a cheek. Definitely insist she pays. I’m quite greedy but that amount of bread and rice seems excessive for 2 people! Did you eat it all?

CountTo10 · 23/03/2025 03:54

OnePeachA · 22/03/2025 21:45

Her reply says

‘Oh right. I didn’t realise but never mind!! I’ll have to go into branch cos I don’t do online banking. Or I can hand * the cash to give you, she lives nearby doesn’t she’

I can safely say that you will not be getting your money back!

Her JustEat app wasn’t working? Really? But yours was? And now doesn’t do online banking? She clearly had no intention of paying as she would have given you the cash at the time or given some idea of how she would pay you at the time.

TwinklyNight · 23/03/2025 04:08

Can she have a food delivery app without ot being liked to a bank?

FortyElephants · 23/03/2025 04:09

BatchCookBabe · 22/03/2025 21:49

Just checked my local Indian takeaway. All of this food comes to around £24. Would be £29 with the fiver delivery fee.

Where the F are they getting £52 from?! Shock

Also, this woman sounds like a shit friend. I'm sure you can do better!

Show quote history

Where do you live?? Last Indian takeaway we had was one main, one side, two rice and two naans and it was £30. £24 for two mains, two rice and 3 naans? The naans are nearly a fiver each for the filled ones here.

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 23/03/2025 04:21

I would reply and say that you had been planning on treating her to a home cooked meal instead but as she suggesting curry you thought that meant she was up for sharing the cost. maybe next time don’t suggest something if you aren’t planning to pay for it.

I can’t believe she doesn’t do online banking. She clearly took advantage of you, suggesting something with the intention you would pay.

Normallynumb · 23/03/2025 04:40

She’s no friend, Cheeky lying bitch
if she has just eat then her card details are stored
i would say, you can’t afford to wait for the money, as takeaway was not planned so can she PayPal the money!

Fraaances · 23/03/2025 04:48

Just send a message “Mate, you’re taking the piss. What the hell have you the idea that this was “my treat?”…. I had dinner organised. You didn’t want it and then conveniently, your app “didn’t work.” I only had a Fanta from the shop you “covered” and 65% of the Indian order was yours. Interested to know how your app works if you don’t do online banking, too.”

Loubylie · 23/03/2025 05:03

Fraaances · 23/03/2025 04:48

Just send a message “Mate, you’re taking the piss. What the hell have you the idea that this was “my treat?”…. I had dinner organised. You didn’t want it and then conveniently, your app “didn’t work.” I only had a Fanta from the shop you “covered” and 65% of the Indian order was yours. Interested to know how your app works if you don’t do online banking, too.”

This.

ThisHeartySloth · 23/03/2025 05:16

It was odd that she asked for a takeaway when you were going to cook, but I also think it's odd that you invited her to your house for dinner, but that she had to go to the shop to buy the drinks and snacks.
Even if you weren't going to drink the same thing as her, as the host, you could have got something in that she would like.

BoxOfCats · 23/03/2025 05:31

She's clearly hoping you'll back down because she "doesn't do online banking". Stick to your guns!

Withnoshoes · 23/03/2025 05:47

Crinkle77 · 22/03/2025 23:22

I'm 47 and don't do online banking. Although I do use the automated phone service to pay bills and transfer money so she could do that instead of having to draw the cash out.

Edited
Show quote history

Yep my partner doesn’t either. He prefers using cash ( not ina cash is king ott way). His card was cloned 20 years ago… but he will use it online! 🙄 I also have a friend in her forties that doesn’t. Don’t really understand why but it’s their choice.

Back to the op. Give her a date by when you want it through the door or that you can pick it up after work. She is gonna continue to try and wriggle out tho!

Middlechild3 · 23/03/2025 06:13

Her Justeat app 'wasn't working' lol !

EasternEcho · 23/03/2025 06:14

OnePeachA · 22/03/2025 20:59

Spaghetti with a tyre

Show quote history

Now that's some Michelin-starred cuisine 😀
On a serious note, your friend needs to pay what she owes.

Trolllol · 23/03/2025 06:34

If I host at my house I provide food and drinks, if we get takeaway I pay for it. It’s weird that she hasn’t offered to pay after messaging her however. Awkward all round.

Justkeepingplatesspinning · 23/03/2025 06:35

That response means you're not going to see your money. Chances are the app not working was an excuse too. She's taken advantage of your good nature.

DrummingMousWife · 23/03/2025 06:37

OnePeachA · 22/03/2025 21:45

Her reply says

‘Oh right. I didn’t realise but never mind!! I’ll have to go into branch cos I don’t do online banking. Or I can hand * the cash to give you, she lives nearby doesn’t she’

Just reply, “whatever suits you mate, it’s too much money for me to cover I’m afraid, so sooner is better than later please”

Astranged · 23/03/2025 06:42

OnePeachA · 22/03/2025 21:45

Her reply says

‘Oh right. I didn’t realise but never mind!! I’ll have to go into branch cos I don’t do online banking. Or I can hand * the cash to give you, she lives nearby doesn’t she’

You'll never get the money.

She lied about her JustEat app not working to force you to pay for her meal.

She knew it wasn't her treat but wanted a free meal.

Astranged · 23/03/2025 06:45

TheShadowOfTheWizard · 23/03/2025 03:08

Peshwari nan. Made with coconut and sometimes raisins. And almonds. If you get a good one, it's magnifico.

Show quote history

One of the best foods on earth.

SardinesOnGingerbread · 23/03/2025 06:53

Well, I live in the north east so we can't even afford to smell the crumbs of a naan, never mind feast on sharing one as a family of 14. And that doesn't count my nan and grandad that live with us, or poor uncle Jim with his gammy leg.

As for rice, we once visited the people in the big house down the road for a Christmas do, and we met this lady that told us about rice. We thought she was having us on! But she said she'd seen it with her own eyes.

Closest we got to food was when little Johnny nearly caught a rat with his catapult. He managed to get the tail and so we roasted that over half a tea light and shared it with the rest of the street. Elysian fields it was. Those are days we won't see again, mark my words.

PeggyMitchellsCameo · 23/03/2025 06:57

SardinesOnGingerbread · 23/03/2025 06:53

Well, I live in the north east so we can't even afford to smell the crumbs of a naan, never mind feast on sharing one as a family of 14. And that doesn't count my nan and grandad that live with us, or poor uncle Jim with his gammy leg.

As for rice, we once visited the people in the big house down the road for a Christmas do, and we met this lady that told us about rice. We thought she was having us on! But she said she'd seen it with her own eyes.

Closest we got to food was when little Johnny nearly caught a rat with his catapult. He managed to get the tail and so we roasted that over half a tea light and shared it with the rest of the street. Elysian fields it was. Those are days we won't see again, mark my words.

That made me laugh so much it made me drop me coal.
😂

Calliopespa · 23/03/2025 07:04

She might be running low on funds till the end of the month.

Still a cheeky way to behave, but it may mean she is buying time, rather than not going to pay at all.

But she suggested it; she can pay her share. She could have had free spaghetti and not incurred any cost. If you’re genuinely skint, beggars can’t be choosers - even if it’s in a tyre! 🍛

CaptainFuture · 23/03/2025 07:05

Coal?! Coal?! @PeggyMitchellsCameo ?!
Och! I've heard of Coal... I've dreamt of it, never got to hold it, never mind be such a wastrel as to nearly DROP it!!
We get our fuel from chasing the sheep and haggi around the hills to catch the droppings to burn as fuel!

IlooklikeNigella · 23/03/2025 07:11

In that case you will need to go to the branch on Monday and let me know when it's done. I'm not happy I'm being made feel that I'm chasing you for payment; the curry was your idea, we only used my JustEat app as yours was broken - I don't see how the 'my treat' became an issue. I also don't understand why you're mentioning covering the shop, aside from a soft drink the wine and snacks were for you and you took them home.

roastedrapidly · 23/03/2025 07:14

So she said her just eat app was broken....but doesn't do online banking and can't pay you online? Doesn't make sense she is a liar and you won't be getting your money I'm afraid.