She ordered a Curry and hasn’t paid me

[OnePeachA]

Friend came to my house

I was going to cook but she asked if I fancied a curry. I said that would be really nice actually

Her JustEat app wasn’t working so I said have a look on mine for places that are open. She picked Indian.

I put everything I wanted in and she added hers. Total came to £52ish. Over 65% of that cost was hers.

I said I could just check out and sort it later. I have messaged to ask if she had the money today as a gentle reminder, and she said she thought it was my treat?

I said oh, we must have got crossed wires then. She said ‘I did cover the shop’

She went to the corner shop for wine and snacks. I got a Grape Fanta!

Where do I go from here? Leave it? Was it reasonable for her to assume it was in fact my treat?

The difference here is that the host wasn't the one who suggested the takeaway.

I KNOW.

Yes, I'm shouting, I'm sorry, but I've said it more than once now, including in the post you've just responded to; I know that wasn't the case here. I was saying that I can kind of see the thinking, in general, that if someone invites you round, even if you get a takeaway rather than cooking, they pay because they're hosting. Some people on this thread have professed never to have heard of, and to be unable to comprehend, that as a concept.

Perhaps, I'm losing the run of it now and have given it too much time already.

The friend is a CF, not just for skipping paying but for now forcing the OP to chase repayment.

OP is a pretty rubbish host.

People who have a vague understanding of appropriate portion sizes are automatically hiding eating disorders and consuming over 3000 cals in one sitting is a great idea once you don't do it for every meal.

Her just eat account does work, fyi.

People who have a vague understanding of appropriate portion sizes are automatically hiding eating disorders and consuming over 3000 cals in one sitting is a great idea once you don't do it for every meal.

Omg, you just can’t help yourself can you? 😆

So you invited her round and had food in to cook but she suggested a takeaway and she is now saying you should treat her to that because she bought you a can of pop?!!

Fuck. THAT!

You've got a CF on your hands!

Again you have another dig!

What is wrong with you??

You’re so boring and opinionated.

Maybe I’ll go through your threads etc and have an opinion on your lifestyle and choices?

Actually Majorie Dawes I very rarely have a takeaway and always cook from scratch but if every now and again I fancy ordering the entire menu and gannetting away like Henry VIII then I will do so and no fucks given.

So drop the lectures and bore off

That’s not the behaviour of a true friend. She’s a user.

your last paragraph doesn't make any sense. I've read and re-read it and can only think you've missed out some words or punctuation.

Looks like you're the odd one out Mark (with a C.)

If you shun a meal your host has said she will provide, you don't expect them to cover the cost of your takeaway WHICH YOU SAID YOU WANTED TO ORDER. It would be different if the host said 'okay, my treat as I was going to provide anyway.'

But that dialogue didn't happen, did it?

Maybe try it with some friends and see how they react?

No idea why you think this would concern me, fire away. But if you claim it's not a massive meal and anyone who thinks so has food issues then I will consider you deluded.

You’re never going to see that money, sorry. I really dislike people who are weird about paying people back.

I don't know how many times I can say it, or how much more clearly: I can see (sort of) why someone might think that dinner was on the host in this scenario. I have said, ad nauseam, that I personally wouldn't think that, and I don't really think the friend thought that. But it's not beyond the bounds of possibility that someone might think differently.

Nice snitty little comment about trying it with my friends, by the way.

or spaghetti carborettor?

Same! And then all the second guessing yourself and energy that is required to get your own money back leaves such a sour taste behind.

If it was a genuine misunderstanding on the part of the friend her reply would have been "omg I am so sorry. I will get it to you asap." But she is making a case for why she doesn't feel she owes it (the shop) and how complicated it's going to be for her. So she's making it very uncomfortable for OP.

Depending on how much the money means to OP I'd chase it or I wouldn't but the friendship has taken a serious dip.

You're very welcome about the 'snitty comment'. It was actually a genuine suggestion as you're so sure that it would go down well- look on it as an experiment and report back?

You can keep saying it time and time again but you know...doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome...

I'm sure you know the rest😂

Yeah probably.

Spaghetti with a tyre?
Meals on Wheels, innit.

Do you get together often and do this kind of thing? I guess the only thing you could do, if she's not going to pay, is to say, okay. I got this one. You can pay next time we get a takeaway. And make sure you order plenty of food.

£52 sounds like a lot of food for 2 people!

Christ, are you still going?
I can't see a single thing in my posts that suggests that I'd be 'so sure that it would go down well'.
But sure, keep on, whatever gives you a little kick.

”I was going to cook but she asked if I fancied a curry“.

You said that you did so she assumed that you were paying for it rather than cooking.

But when you asked for the money she should’ve paid up. Worra cunt!

Gosh! Anyone who doesn’t order at least a portion of rice and two face sized peshwari naans with their curry, sides and starters, must have a serious eating disorder!! I’m so sick of all this competitive under eating on MN making me look greedy! I mean, I know that a portion size of carbs is 2-3 tablespoons of rice, but I starve myself for an hour so that I can shovel down at least 8 times that. It’s not a treat unless you’re having two days worth of calories in a single sitting is it?!

I know that obesity is associated with whole host of debilitating conditions, but that’s ok, who wants to work after 50 anyway?

But you're comparing apples with oranges. Of course it would be weird to invite someone round for dinner and then charge them the cost of the ingredients. That would also be a completely different situation.

If anything, when it comes to takeaways, if anyone is treating the other person it's the one who suggests it, regardless of whose house they are at.

I consider you overbearing and thoroughly tedious!

You know stuffing yourself with the occasional takeaway isn’t going to create lifelong issues, yes??
God almighty, this thread isn’t about the amount of food or obesity, it’s about OPs DF being a CF.
Why are some posters obsessed with what other people eat? You really should see someone about your issues around food and why it’s so triggering for you.