She ordered a Curry and hasn’t paid me

[OnePeachA]

Friend came to my house

I was going to cook but she asked if I fancied a curry. I said that would be really nice actually

Her JustEat app wasn’t working so I said have a look on mine for places that are open. She picked Indian.

I put everything I wanted in and she added hers. Total came to £52ish. Over 65% of that cost was hers.

I said I could just check out and sort it later. I have messaged to ask if she had the money today as a gentle reminder, and she said she thought it was my treat?

I said oh, we must have got crossed wires then. She said ‘I did cover the shop’

She went to the corner shop for wine and snacks. I got a Grape Fanta!

Where do I go from here? Leave it? Was it reasonable for her to assume it was in fact my treat?

There’s an alarming number of people on MN who rub their eating disorder anxieties off onto others

Nope. You live in a different world.

Narnia world.

The difference in cost would be 3 or 4 fold.

How is that not understandable?

I’ll use this afternoon to read that! My apologies.

Or maybe they just recognise piggery 😂

Why are you so rude with your insinuations that posters who think/know differently to you are someone lacking?

Doing it your way/the way OP has is what has led to this thread. Lack of clarity. I never have to worry about this because if I invite someone, I'm paying. If they invite, they are.

The purchase of wine is a present to the host usually. What exactly did OP 'host'? Think about it.

Associating a naan bread with animal like over eating is EXACTLY what I’m talking about.

Id rather have an extra naan than a ridiculous complex about an enjoyable takeaway. What an utterly miserable life that sounds

I've not read the whole thread but you know her app not working was the plan to get you to pay, don't you?

So if the CF’s app was working would she expect the OP to transfer the full cost?

Though I’m surprised the OP didn’t get a bottle of wine in when she knew her friend was coming over

How do you reckon '3 or 4 fold'? It depends on what they would cook if they were going to cook; you could easily spend a fortune on, say, fresh seafood from a prestige fishmonger or a higher-end supermarket, or other luxury ingredients, and it could easily come out to the same as or more than a bog standard takeaway.
It's the host's decision, anyway; just like if you get takeaway for yourself you're essentially paying for convenience and ease, they've obviously decided they'd like the convenience and ease of getting a takeaway rather than cooking for their guests, and they're willing to pay for it.
Your response is very dogmatic and over the top. Narnia world .

I was going to cook but she asked if I fancied a curry. I said that would be really nice actually

Maybe read the first post before saying OP should have paid.

Her friend suggested getting a take away.

when I first saw this, I thought this was some slang phrase coined by low carb dieters or similar...
as in "Have Spaghetti if you absolutely have to... but it comes with a spare tyre"

When you send her the bill, don't forget to say you'll throw in the tyre for free.

Yes, this is how it is in my world too. If you host, you pay. Whether you cook or get a takeaway in.

But it was the guest who refused the host's food and decided to have a takeaway.

@MarkWithaC The friend suggested getting the curry. The OP had offered to cook.

I suggest you improve your reading.

I've just addressed this in another post. Thank you for the patronising question though.

🍱 👮 are on their way to you now, don’t say you didn’t deserve it! Hopefully you’ll get a porridge for your rice and chip eating antics!

True. Also did you explicitly say “I’m going to cook us spaghetti Bol?” Or was it not clear to her what dinner plans were? Sounds like she was hungry & expecting food & drink after being invited . Then Had to buy her own drink & snacks & then dinner wasn’t forthcoming so she suggested take away & you agreed.
i could be completely wrong. But just trying to see an alternative perspective

You didn't address it.

You misread the first post by the OP.

I said, 'I guess the difference though is that, in those cases, it's their decision to order in, whereas here it was hers.'

Perhaps you didn't read that bit.

Same, I can’t abide tight people either.

I’d be swerving her in future after the recent shinanigans with her trying every which way to get out if paying her way. She has no qualms with telling you outright either. Do your future self a favour and wave bye bye to this woman!

I said, 'I guess the difference though is that, in those cases, it's their decision to order in, whereas here it was hers.'

Perfectly demonstrated eating disorder anxiety trope!

Name calling a person who eats nann bread with their takeaway.

That isn't eating disorder anxiety trope.

Three full sized peshwari naan plus two rice and a main course each is an awful lot of food.

I never believe 'teeny tiny-wannabe' posters here, best ignored on any thread. I think they can't quite pull it off in real life so spout off online.

I think she is a CF.

But I also (sorry) think you're a bad host. Did she arrive then go to the shop or stop on the way? I would be pretty unimpressed if somebody invited me over, had no snacks in, didn't offer me a drink and revealed they were 'going to cook'. Generally I'd expect a meal to be served up shortly after I arrive, assuming you had an arrival time agreed.

It doesn't sound like you'd given any of this much thought so it's not too much of a stretch you hadn't done anything with your home to make it look nice for a guest. Is it clean? Would she be worried about eating out of your kitchen?

If your friend is prone to baking and sharing she might have much higher expectations around these things than you. Have you ever been to her house? Perhaps she goes all out when she is hosting.

So maybe she was highly unimpressed then sent a snippy reply to you as she would never dream of accepting payment for food from a guest.

I still think she's wrong but I don't think you've been great either.

Perfect answer.