She ordered a Curry and hasn’t paid me

[OnePeachA]

Friend came to my house

I was going to cook but she asked if I fancied a curry. I said that would be really nice actually

Her JustEat app wasn’t working so I said have a look on mine for places that are open. She picked Indian.

I put everything I wanted in and she added hers. Total came to £52ish. Over 65% of that cost was hers.

I said I could just check out and sort it later. I have messaged to ask if she had the money today as a gentle reminder, and she said she thought it was my treat?

I said oh, we must have got crossed wires then. She said ‘I did cover the shop’

She went to the corner shop for wine and snacks. I got a Grape Fanta!

Where do I go from here? Leave it? Was it reasonable for her to assume it was in fact my treat?

Why not? Why the horror of “making a scene”?

If you’re going to cut someone out of your life over a curry, you may as well get the 26 quid out of them first.

👏👏 this all the way!!
What a cheeky mare!!
I would even buy a card reader for “ ease of payment “ 😂

And other people can respond saying they think what you, or anyone else said, is irrelevant.

”Say what you like” works both ways.

I don't belive her at all.
She was going to use just eat but it didn't work AND she doesn't have Internet banking?
Assuming she fully intended to get a curry in the first place, how was she going to pay?

She's hoping that you'll either say "Oh you pay next time " so that it gets forgotten, or that it will appear to be too much hassle to get the cash.

I was going g to say in what world is asking for money that’s rightfully owed ‘causing a scene’ and then i saw it’s our resident forum goader doing what they do - posting contrary comments to get a bite

I'm not the one who started off telling people how - and what - to post. That poster had been telling people off for mentioning the carbs and how much the OP was spending. (And having a go at them for mentioning it.)

Ya know, as if it was her right to tell people how to post. No-one tells me what to post - or NOT post. Except MN moderators.

HTH hun. 😎

Don’t let her involve another person. As PP have said, she’s an experienced and expert CF well practiced in her art.

Just message back saying “great, can you pay into branch then thanks.”

You get a bag? Luxury!

My mum doesn't. She's only 60 and uses computers all the time but she is deeply suspicious of online banking; she keeps a handwritten tally of her income/outgoings in a notebook. I also found out recently that she uses an actual travel agent to book holidays.

My job title is literally Learning Technologist so you can imagine how frustrating it is that I can't convince my own mother to use technology 😭

A member of the hobby group I go to has always had "important" jobs, done everything, been everywhere (even Elevenerife 😁) and generally likes to feel superior to everyone else, yet is such a luddite when it comes to technology.

So much competitive eating here! I’m super impressed with the level and capabilities of some people.

OP she’s a CF! There’s no way she doesn’t online bank. I totally feel your frustration! I have a friend who was like that the entire time I went to visit her in London. I ended up paying for everything from eating out to going to a festival. (Including the tickets I’d bought months previously!)

I think this is just how she lived and still lives her life, getting people to pay for things for her. Some people are just like that but we always learn our lessons!

it’s not good when things are tight.

Her app was conveniently "not working"? But yours worked fine? Bollocks.
She doesn't do online banking? Again, utter bollocks. Even my 97yo great aunt does online banking.

I wouldn't be having her round again.

And £52 for a smallish takeaway?! You were robbed.

For most people, a takeaway is a special treat. Just like most people have a blow-out on Christmas Day and you see all these sad, po-faced articles wagging their fingers and telling you that it's more calories than you should need for one meal - as though anybody eats that much every single day.

I always go to town when ordering a takeaway - I'll probably be ousted from MN for admitting this, but I often have rice, naan and chips - but we have a microwave (yay, go us!), so we tend to order a goodly amount and then whatever is left usually serves for our main meal the next day as well.

I work for a huge wealth managers and people would be shocked how many of our clients still pay by cheque and request their withdrawals to be paid by cheque. It’s 100’s per day

My 20 year old DS was always bemused when my parents sent him a cheque for his birthday - think it’s the only time he’s ever seen one

She was bang on though, wasn’t she? The cost of the takeaway is irrelevant. The contents of the takeaway is irrelevant. The thread is about the tightarse cow who actually asked for a takeaway and then tried to claim she thought she was being treated!

She doesn’t have online banking yet does Justeat? Hmm. Definitely cf and her response re I’ll have to go into the branch-really? Or I’ll have to drop you cash round? Ok, go on, then! Sounds like an absolute try on!

Sounds chewy.

I know you have now made it clear that the takeaway wasn’t a treat but I’m a little confused and don’t think it was that straightforward because it’s unclear whether or not you did actually invite her for dinner OP.

You had made plans to make a pasta meal though so I take it that you had actually invited her, and shopped for food and drink to host her.
If you had invited her, she was very rude to suggest that she favoured a takeaway over your plans for a home cooked meal. At that point I would have said….. ‘no need for you to go to that expense as I’ve already got our meal planned.’
I’m confused that you didn’t do that but instead, happily went along with her suggestion for ordering something else. Having invited her for dinner, I would be worried about the expense of paying for the two meals on top of the expense of the meal already planned. The possibility that she expected me to pay for that ordered meal would certainly have entered my head and I would have told her that I could only afford to pay for my own.

Of course, if it wasn’t your suggestion that she come to you house for a shared meal at your expense, then she was incredibly rude to expect you to pay for her dinner simply because it was ordered and eaten in your home. So it’s good you have made that clear and I hope she pays up and learns a lesson from it.

That's why her JE app wasn't working - because you have to link a bank card to pay, and she could only use it if she could barter some grain, silks or spices by way of exchange.

A couple of people have mentioned how strange it is that she (the friend) would risk a friendship for a free curry and it got me thinking.

I'm no expert in anything scientific or academic but I have come to understand a little of some people and how they think and behave.
It's been staged in such a way as the OP is going to have to insist on payment for a takeaway she neither suggested or offered. This is likely to be translated into the OP being 'difficult' or 'petty' which will give her friend cause to take offense. Imagine being that bothered about £30?!
It soon becomes the OP who is willing to risk the friendship over the curry, not the friend.
The only response to being asked for her share of the curry was, "of course, I'll get it to you asap, thanks for covering it"
Anything else is a red flag.

This!

I naan between 2 people?!

We bought one naan in 2007 and are still sharing a nibble between us with each takeaway and that's plenty.

I get that you would if you’d said “Do you fancy coming around for a takeaway?” - although if I was the guest I’d still offer to pay my half in those circumstances rather than assuming.

But if you’d invited a friend around for dinner and they’d suggested takeaway instead? Would you think hosting stretched to paying for something you hadn’t offered to provide in the first place?

When someone suggests ordering food they do no then get to assume it's another person's treat, especially if the host had actually planned to cook food. You should reply and confirm you thought it was both of you paying, what would have happened if her app was working ..

As shocking as it might be to some on here not everyone has online banking. I know a few that don’t, one is a very close relative who goes to the bank to do their banking needs. They also have just eat set up with a credit card that they go into the bank each month to pay off as they don’t use their personal account card online, only their credit card is used for online payments.