To be a bit annoyed that I have to remind my DH to remind my DC that its Mothers Day soon?

[sausagebapsforlife]

Anyone else have this?

It is approaching and no-one has mentioned it. Yet again it seems like no-one will do anything for me unless I remind them. I have to remind my DH to remind the DC. Both DC are adults and both live quite a long way from us. Neither of them are Mothers themselves yet.

So this morning, as usual, I mentioned it to my DH and asked him to not to forget to give them that nudge and he said he is not going to this year. They are adults and shouldn't need reminding.

While I do agree with that, I also know that both my DC have full on lives and won't forget on purpose. It will simply be overlooked. If not reminded they are definitely both likely to forget and then when they realise they have missed it will both feel really bad. And I actually don't want them to feel that. At the end of the day they are both good kids. Just forgetful and busy.

But every year I do feel a bit disappointed that they are likely to forget unless prompted and I don't think its too much to get a card and some flowers once a year.

Sorry I'm with your DH, they're adults! Maybe you being disappointed and them feeling guilty this year will prompt them to remember next year.

If they are adults this is on them. “Busy lives” is bollocks, if they’ve been a supermarket in the last month - they know, and it is not hard.

Perhaps letting them fail and then feel bad would reset and they will do better in future years. DH giving them a nudge is really no different to you giving them a nudge, it’s still not off their own back - so you’re worried tell them yourself. But personally I think see how it plays out. They might surprise you.

hopefully DH will still mark the occasion for you a little but ultimately I do think this is on your kids now. X

Your dh is right.

They are adults, with jobs and homes and lives, they don't need chasing up about Mothers day.

It's unfair to put it on your dh.

You would be told not to prompt your DH if it was for his Mum. So I see no reason for him to prompt your adult children

It is nice to be appreciated. But I am with your DH, they are adults.

I have to say I am not that fussed about Mother's Day. My son will probably (prompted) buy me some of my favourite chocolates. Which will, of course, be lovely. But, I appreciate it far more when he randomly and totally unprompted buys me some because he wants to.

If you are that bothered, drop them both a tongue in cheek message. "Hi my lovely DC, this is your gorgeous mum reminding you about mother's day next Sunday. If you want a decent Christmas present, don't forget it 😍"
Or however you would word it.

I guess but I always just give them both a little 'don't forget its your Dad's Birthday or Fathers Day' when those dates come round. But both because I don't want my DH to feel disappointed that they forgot but because I don't want my DD's to feel bad for forgetting either.

But I guess we have to take a step back at some point and let them take responsibility for this kind of stuff themselves now.

Agree with your husband ,why should he remind them and you are just making excuses for them

Your disappointed with your dc and taking it out on your dh

why not use your words and tell your dc (if they forget!) that you’re upset they forgot

My adult DDs have left home and I don’t expect DH to get involved. I don’t want a card just because he’s reminded them.

It’s very difficult to forget these days as it’s all over social media, emails, supermarkets.

There is no taking it out on my DH. It was merely a comment and he said he didn't think he would this year as they are adults and now need to start remembering this stuff themselves. End of story.

DH is right.

Obviously don’t remind them when it’s Fathers Day either…

Reminding them (whether it's Mothers Day, birthdays, whatever) isn't really doing them any favours. They probably forget because they expect the reminders. They're not children any more.

Yes I guess. I know he is right. They shouldn't need nudges and reminders now. I do actually want them to buy me cards etc because they want to, not because they feel they should.

Yes. I agree that he is. That in itself is a rarity 😂
I do think it may be time for us both to step back and allow them to think of these things for themselves now.

Your DH is bang on. Your kids are adults, if they forget, it’s on them.

Your DH is right, as long as he doesn’t change his tune when it’s his birthday or Father’s Day that gets forgotten.

I have adult children they remember despite working shifts with "busy lives" if your children forget that's on them.

I’m with your DH on this.

Also, it is pretty much impossible to miss that Mothers Day is coming up. There are SO MANY ads and promotions. If your adult DC neglect to do something for you, it won’t be because they ‘forgot’.

If they forget it is "on purpose " their lives are not that important that a card or even a phone call is too much for them because they are busy.

Just out of interest, why does it mean so much to you?

My husband didn't do mother's day while he was growing up, so I got a few years of it being marked grudgingly when DC were little and then it stopped. So I didn't get any choice in the matter!

My mum bizarrely still wants a card and I'm 47.

Why wouldn't you get your mum a card ?

Forget to get them anything for Christmas 😂

Your DC must live under a rock to not know ots mothers day. Forget their birthdays this year!

I have adult children and they never remember, nobody reminds them, and it does upset me every year to the point I dread Mothers Day especially when I see other mums being spoilt by their children.

Last year I thought I wasn’t going to more around feeling sorry for myself and I texted my daughter on the morning by of Mother’s Day suggesting that we do something and she replied that she’s been invited by her aunt (my ex-SIL, who has no kids so I gave her the benefit of the doubt thinking maybe she didn’t realise it was MD, but really can anyone miss it?). It made me feel even more shit!

Your problem is your DC, not your DH.