To be a bit annoyed that I have to remind my DH to remind my DC that its Mothers Day soon?

[sausagebapsforlife]

Anyone else have this?

It is approaching and no-one has mentioned it. Yet again it seems like no-one will do anything for me unless I remind them. I have to remind my DH to remind the DC. Both DC are adults and both live quite a long way from us. Neither of them are Mothers themselves yet.

So this morning, as usual, I mentioned it to my DH and asked him to not to forget to give them that nudge and he said he is not going to this year. They are adults and shouldn't need reminding.

While I do agree with that, I also know that both my DC have full on lives and won't forget on purpose. It will simply be overlooked. If not reminded they are definitely both likely to forget and then when they realise they have missed it will both feel really bad. And I actually don't want them to feel that. At the end of the day they are both good kids. Just forgetful and busy.

But every year I do feel a bit disappointed that they are likely to forget unless prompted and I don't think its too much to get a card and some flowers once a year.

But you said it in such an unkind way, there are a million ways you could have expressed your opinion without being so unkind about it

As soon as I left home, and my controlling, domineering mother who demanded that I get her something each year or there would be sulks and tantrums…..I decided not to bother. I continued not bothering for the rest of her life.

Unless it’s celebrated in the traditional way ie go to one’s mother church, then why should adult children, or indeed any child, be forced to produce the expected card and flowers.

We are all busy - it’s not an excuse to miss Mother’s Day - at least by sending a card in the post or arranging flowers to be delivered - stop making excuses for them

So don't this year. When he's disappointed & moans about it, you reply
They're adults, they shouldn't need reminders from me.

Unless they have SEN that you've failed to mention, or they are the two astronauts that ended up remaining in space for 8 months, congratulations on raising a couple of self absorbed thoughtless adults.

My Mother died 30 years ago, so no real reason to, but I'm still aware it's mothers day - even if they aren't on social media, I was out shopping yesterday - I'd estimate that around half the shops and restaurants have some kind of Mothers day promotion.

They shouldn't need reminding after around 12/13.

I don’t think starting a thread to bitch about your husband not reminding his adult kids about Mother’s Day is particularly “kind”

Wow you got out of the wrong side of the bed this morning! I don’t think the OP was bitching at all, it’s clearly just something that’s upsetting for her.

Surely it was the Op who got out of bed the wrong side! 😂

Personally I don't care about mother's day and I don't get offended if my children forget or don't realise the day. I know they care about me and they show it in different ways throughout the year. One day means very little.

It’s often most important to those that aren’t particularly close to their children but feel that if hallmark days like this are celebrated…. It must mean that it’s not that bad

I hadn't thought about that. I think you might be right.

I’m not sure why you have such a problem with her…are you one of the daughters?! 😂😂

Or sometimes mums try and act "cool" because their children's other parent can't he arsed organising a card.

So then it’s about relationship with kids dad

either way the root is usually feeling unsure about the true closeness of a relationship

Whilst it is commercial etc. it is always nice to be appreciated and your children forgetting to buy a simple card and bunch of daffodils/tulips or whatever is a bit shit. I think you DH should say something to them, BUT also point out to them that he shouldn’t bloody have to and they need to start thinking for themselves.There is nothing wrong with wanting to be appreciated, but you raised them - they should know it’s important to you!

I agree with this.

Yes, you aren’t responsible for managing your husband’s feelings. He won’t combust if he’s disappointed, if he is disappointed he can have a conversation adult to adult with his son. We as women need to stop managing everyone in my opinion.

Or cook them anything! (Including dh!)

Her dc should remind the children if they forget, and he should also treat her as the woman who grew his children and brought their lives into the world he should be spoiling her with praise and pampering

This. Sod em all. No more reminders. Book a nice day out for yourself doing something YOU want to do, either alone or with friends. And turn phone off
I find mothers day a bit commercial but they should always celebrate your birthday. And if they forget that well that's another post altogether

DH is right. There are sooo many reminders of MD from ads on Facebook to ads on pubs and on TV. If your DDs forget that’s on them. Even without kids I’ve never forgotten my mum on Mother’s Day - even with a busy life, a job, a house to run etc.

You never know, they may surprise you!

I don't get why you care about a marketing scheme.
Mine may remember the may not. Most years I don't even remember it's Mother Day. Couldn't care less.

I expect nothing so anything received is a bonus. I hate Mother’s Day.

Mother’s Day isn’t that big a deal. If they aren’t in Clinton’s or Tesco they might not know about it. And the date changes all the time.

He's right he shouldn't have to remind them. I managed to remember before I had kid's and now there is social media too. It isn't a lot to ask that they make time to spend a few hours with you, phone or send a present. I've seen this a lot in mums who were martyrs when the kids were growing up and accepted no or little acknowledgement of the day when they actually wanted the opposite.Somehow they feel that things will change when the kids get older but often they don't because the kids have grown up seeing it as not an 'important' day.

If forgetting mothers day is a reflection in general of the lack of contact and care they show you generally then speak to them.