Tell me I'm not still considered a young mum this time round

[Impacttywin]

Afternoon all.

For background I had my first child at 15 and am now 23 pregnant with my second.

I'd been looking forward to not having to deal with people staring at me, making rude comments and making mum friends my age.

Only to read threads on here where people are saying under 25 is way too young to be a mum and the youngest mum they know is 29 etc!

I'm not far enough along to go to antenatal classes yet but please tell me I will not be the youngest there.

Well, it probably depends where you live. I was youngest there at 26 but it's fine - no one will be shocked I don't think.

Anyone who says you’re ’too’ young is silly, obviously. But statistically you are a ‘young mum’ I guess as the average age to become a mum in the UK is 29.

Still young! 23 year olds can look 16-17. So you may still get looks... My DC are both 'around 30' and still get IDd for red bull and booze. Nearly every time.

Nothing wrong with being a young mum though lovely. Ignore anyone gawping at you with a baby and an 8 year old.

Nobody should be giving you looks, that is just rude. But you probably will be the youngest, sorry. I was the youngest of my mum friend group at 32.

23 would be a really young mum still in my circle - you may still be the youngest! Tbh it’s much more of a socially acceptable age than 15 so I would imagine fewer comments of that nature, although when you say it’s your second and inevitably reveal the age gap, that might give a raised eyebrow or two.

Age is no prediction of being a good mum though so don’t let anyone make you feel otherwise.

There is another thread running today about whether 42 is too old to have a baby. My advice to both of you….
You can have a child whatever age, if you are happy, healthy, and financially able, then that’s all good.

Too old, too young..blah blah blah. Congrats. Enjoy your pregnancy.

23 sounds insanely young to me - sorry!

Id definitely consider a 23 year old a young mum. You would have been the youngest in my antenatal group by a considerable margin. I didn’t meet anyone with either of my DC as young as you with DC.

It’s not a bad thing though and you definitely shouldn’t have to tolerate people being rude to you. 23 is a completely acceptable age to have a family if it’s what works for you.

My dd had her baby at 23
She had a fair few peers.
I was referred to as a young mum when I was pregnant at 39. Still makes me laugh!

You quite possibly will still be a ‘young mum’, sorry!

I was 26 when I had my first and was genuinely surprised to find myself very much one of the youngest mums in any baby group I attended. I’m the youngest mum out of my child’s year group (small school) still and they’re now nearly 10.

Absolutely. I’m always saying this on here, but I used to see my midwife at two north London clinics. At one, I was bang on average at 39, at the other, in a much less prosperous area, I was the same age as the expectant grandmothers waiting with their 20 year old daughters. I was, I think, the third oldest in my NCT group of eight, but the youngest was about 34. If I went to the local Sure Start, I was way older than average.

It’s not too young at all. Most of our mums had us young.

In my circle of friends you’d be a young mum, most friends/family started their families at 30-33, but then there are certainly advantages to having children younger! I’d have ideally had my first around 28, but I wasn’t in the financial position to have a baby. That might have meant we’d have been able to have the third baby we wanted and I think my body would have coped better!

I think that’s still quite young and you may very well be the youngest. In my NCT class with my first, the youngest was 21 and the oldest turned 40 while in hospital recovering from her c-section! That said, I had my 2nd at 37 (pregnant at 36) and consciously remember the midwife making a note about me being a ‘geriatric pregnancy’ 😂 You can’t win.

I was just 24 when I had my one and only DC
All throughout DC growing up I was the youngest apart from very occasionally.
It is what it is and you can't change it, the great thing about antenatal classes ect is that you all have the same common interest and generally your age doesn't matter when discussing nappies and milk!

@Impacttywin I think women wait too long nowadays. this is why the majority struggle to fall pregnant.

Thanks for the comments everyone 🙏🏻
Its not really a big deal I was just convinced I was a standard age this time and after my experience the first time I was looking forward to fitting in at the baby groups/antenatal classes etc

Being five foot tall and looking younger doesn't help either 😂

I had three by the time I was your age OP and my 4th at 27. They’re all now teenagers/young adults and im
glad I had them all so “young”. Not that I felt young, it certainly felt pretty normal to me.

The fact of the matter is that nobody bit you and your midwife need to know you are 23. If yiu tell people you already have a 7/8 year old, I suspect most people will think you are late 20s and look youthful.

23 seems young to me. My dd is 26 and isn't ready although I reckon will be soon after she's married. DIL is but they are relocating to another Continent in the summer and will wait until then.

Depends where you live. In my NCT youngest mum-to-be was 32, we were all mid thirties. In a wealthy area, you would massively stick out, in a less wealthy one less so.
But if the average age of 1st pregancy is I believe 28 or 29, then yes, you are definitely a young mum!

I had DD1 at 23 and there weren’t many other parents my age with kids in the same class all the way through nursery and school, right the way up to uni open days 😁 I think some people thought I was a teen mum when DD was a toddler and were a bit snotty about it but most were fine.

When the DDs were at primary school I had a friendship group with quite a broad range of ages and that was really nice because we all had different perspectives - that’s not just due to age of course but it was part of it.

There were two mums who were 29 in my antenatal classes and that seemed really young to me! Everyone else was in their 30s. I was 36 and that was pretty standard in my area.

Back when my mum was having me, she was referred to as a "geriatric" mother.... She was 27!

I was the youngest mum out of 10 couples… I was 27. I did fall pregnant at 26 but lost the pregnancy.

I do think 23 is young, but honestly the “best” age to have kids is so dependent on who you are, the best age to have kids couple be 20 for some people, or 43 for others. Don’t let others make you feel awkward x

Everyone in my NCT classes was over 30 and three of us were 38.

It still seems very young to me, but as long as you’re in a stable relationship and are financially secure, and healthy, who cares really.