Tell me I'm not still considered a young mum this time round

[Impacttywin]

Afternoon all.

For background I had my first child at 15 and am now 23 pregnant with my second.

I'd been looking forward to not having to deal with people staring at me, making rude comments and making mum friends my age.

Only to read threads on here where people are saying under 25 is way too young to be a mum and the youngest mum they know is 29 etc!

I'm not far enough along to go to antenatal classes yet but please tell me I will not be the youngest there.

You're still a young mum but I wouldn't let that define you! My mum had three children by the time she was 24, but that was back in the 1960s.

Trust me, one day you will be so glad to look younger than your years! Enjoy your pregnancy x

You’d be extremely young here. Most 23 year olds are just out of uni, probably been travelling, are living at home and on their first job. In other areas it will be more common

Average age in London is 38 for first child
so some places mean you would be much younger than your cohort

Its interesting to see so many posters saying how different it's been in different areas they've lived in. I live in a medium sized town wouldn't describe it as a particularly wealthy or poor area

I think I subconsciously still have some issues from all the stares and comments I got with my first pregnancy and it's coming back to me now, I need to just get over myself. Thank you all for the comments xx

You are definitely in my mind still a young mum. To be honest in this day and age anyone in their 20s is a young mum as they are still “young” in my books. But young doesn’t equate to inexperienced / immature / not equipped. I’d think no more of it!

Even though I was 38 when I had DD, I find that quite shocking - there are still quite a few young mums round my bit of London, and I’ve found being a mum in my 40s and 50s to be exhausting, it’s really too old - but if 38’s the average some must be quite a bit older than that.

These sorts of comments are quite funny to me as a 23 year old who has been married for over two years and is currently having fertility treatment to conceive their first baby 😄

As an older Mum (had mine at 44) my advice would be, just stop thinking about what other people think. I'm too old, you're too young ... who cares? People love to judge. 23 is a great age to learn that lesson.

I think 23 is still considered young, especially these days! I had my first baby at 19 so was 18 when going to antenatal classes and most of the women there were in their 30s with a few late 20s. I had my next four babies at 22, 25, 27 and 29 so I was done and dusted by 30! Never regretted having mine young, they are all wonderful young men now and I'm still young-ish 😂

I’m sure I had Geriatric mother on my notes and I was only 33!

On mumsnet if you have a baby before you’re 30 you’re too young, but in the real world 23 isn’t crazy young.

The NHS considers under 25s to be young mums when things like funding and extra support are looked at.

How it will feel to you is likely dependant on your area.

Yes I'd still say young mum.

My births were at ages 21, 23 and 30.

I was definitely treated differently with my last pregnancy. By family, randoms I encountered etc - but mostly, by medical staff. The way I was spoken to by midwives, Dr's, receptionists - very different imo.

you’d be considered a young mum but not too young. 23 is young. Who cares? I was 25 when I had my first which was young but relatively normal. He’s 12 now. If I saw a 23 year old with a baby I wouldn’t bat an eyelid. It’s very different to being 15 with a baby.

Just to say, credit to you for managing sufficiently well at 15 that you are up for doing it all again. You will be an amazing mum.

When I was in my 20s (about 25 years ago now), a girl I knew had her 2 kids about a year after she finished university, she was still on a grad scheme! We all thought she was mad, but she had planned it that way as her own mum had had her young, and she and her DH managed it well. Now their kids are ar university, they are footloose and fancy free at 45, and they are laughing, whilst the rest of us still have kids in primary school!!

I have literally never seen anyone write under 25 is too young to be a mum?

I had my first at twenty and didn't feel like a young mum to be honest.

Congratulations! Don’t let any looks get you down! I just had a baby and the mum opposite me in the wards was 20 years younger than me. As long as you’re a loving and caring mother it doesn’t matter how old you are. Mothers should just support each other, and not give looks. Ignore! Enjoy the newborn baby cuddles! X

Many, many years ago when I had my first child the midwife said I was a geriatric mother, I was 32.

Congratulations🤗i’m pregnant and due with DS in 5 weeks and i’m 21 so i’m sure alot of mumsnetters would class me as a young mum too but personally i think it’s all down to individual’s circumstances as to when their ready to be a mum. At my antenatal classes i was by far the youngest but in my town there’s a big age range for first time mums and alot of people i went to school with,are on DC2 so i don’t feel young in that sense!x

Another one saying it friends where you live and who you socialise with. At my NCT group the youngest was 28. But where my DC went to school I was grandma age, early 20s was normal for having a baby and you wouldn’t stand out at all.

Plus if people ever exclaim over you looking young to have a baby - I remember an old lady saying to me my baby must be my first as I looked so young …. I was 37 at the time. (Im guessing the lady didn’t have the best eyesight!).

23 is young but not 'too young'. Please don't worry anyway. You know what you're doing. Some people will always judge, if they're like that they'll find something- everyone's too old, poor, rich, arrogant, stupid, selfish etc to judge people. And many people are lovely and don't mind.

It is considered young but in reality 23-25 would be the optimum age in terms of health and energy and how well and fast your body will recover.
Also, both your children will be independent in 20 years time when you'll be 43. At 43 you will still have high levels of energy, your looks and an awful lot to look forward to without getting tired from having young children.
I don't personally know any woman from my circle of friends, acquaintances or family who had their first child at 23 but I can't imagine it should be a drawback. In terms of health for you and your children, surely you're at your absolute peak from a biological perspective. Look at the positives!
And congratulations!

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

I agree with pp who said women just can’t win, we’re always too young or too old or whatever but always somehow in the wrong. I had DS not long before my 30th and was one of the youngest at the antenatal classes. But I certainly wasn’t the youngest at nursery pick ups or when DS went to school.

He’s really into football now, they’re all 13 or thereabouts in his team and the youngest mum is 27, the oldest is one is 55. And guess what, no one cares.

The youngest mum on my NCT course was 29, the oldest was 39. Most were early/mid 30s.