Tell me I'm not still considered a young mum this time round

[Impacttywin]

Afternoon all.

For background I had my first child at 15 and am now 23 pregnant with my second.

I'd been looking forward to not having to deal with people staring at me, making rude comments and making mum friends my age.

Only to read threads on here where people are saying under 25 is way too young to be a mum and the youngest mum they know is 29 etc!

I'm not far enough along to go to antenatal classes yet but please tell me I will not be the youngest there.

And being honest you must know yourself you are a young mum at 23, so not sure why you are asking, but if you’re worried about what others will think - don’t be! Let them get on with it x

My stepdaughter had her first baby at 23. She’s 39 now and most of her friends are a decade older.

I had a baby at 22 and felt quite young, but it really doesn't matter. Enjoy your pregnancy and go to all the groups/classes. I think it will certainly still be a different experience to being pregnant at 15.x

You're an adult woman who's mace the decision to have a baby. Who cares what others think.

Pregnancy is a young woman’s game! 23 is fine, don’t worry about what anyone else is doing.

dd1 I was two weeks off my 22nd birthday and treated like a baby myself. Dd2 I was 25 and definitely still the youngest. Ds I was 33 and very average in terms of maternal age.

You’d definitely be classed as a young mum in my area. When I was on mat leave most were my age early-mid 30s with some late 30s and early 40s, some late 20s. There wasn’t any early 20s at any of my baby groups or pregnancy classes.

You will be the youngest one there. Probably by at least 5 years

29 is the average age for a first time mum nowadays I think. Whether you’ll be the youngest at ante-natal depends on the area and type of class you go to. NCT in an area with lots of middle class professionals, you’ll probably be the youngest there. But really, don’t overthink it.

Oh women can’t win. Not with men nor with other women either. You’re too young at 23 but if you have your kid past 30 everyone’s like oh you’re going to have them at home til you’re old and have no time to yourself in retirement. It’s so boring. You know what, think of it as a useful tool to weed out anyone who judges you negatively and is therefore a prick

Bah! Who cares what people think!
In terms of the antenatal classes, yes, some do skew much more…. Middle class shall we say where often women are nearer to 30 or 40 having their first (looking at you, NCT). But the ages of mums I’ve met at baby classes hasn’t affected my willingness to make friends with them. I think there’s a sense of all in it together with young babies.
Currently expecting my second at 36 and I’m also looking for an antenatal class where I can meet mums but they tend to be geared towards first time mums. I think the thing that might set you out at antenatal classes more than your age is the fact you aren’t a first time mum when most will be.
Personally, I would have sought you out as someone who could’ve reassured me that I’d make it through rather than been put off by your age!

This ^^
But don’t worry what anyone else thou is. Enjoy your child and your pregnancy!!

You may well be the youngest at the antenatal appointments because 23 is still young to have a baby but does it matter?
Just enjoy your pregnancy and your baby when they arrive.

I genuinely didn't think I was until the last couple of weeks (starting to get big and people at work saying aren't you young etc) plus reading some threads about average mother age on here.

I suppose because I was so young the first time and it's been such a long time since then I assumed I was a more average age this time around.

In my circle you would definitely be considered a young mum, I'm early thirties and pregnant with my first, all of my friends have started having babies in the last year at the same age. I've one friend who had her first at 27, that's the youngest in my peer group.

I had my 3rd at 23 (I’m now 44) so to me you’re not a young mum, and in my area now there are probably equal numbers of women who’ve had babies 23 and women who are having their first at late 30’s. So I wouldn’t think ‘ooh she’s a young mum if I heard of a pregnant 23 year old’.

Statistically you are still a young mum, but it will depend where you live. I was 29 with my first and don’t think I knew any mums younger than me but this was in an area where a lot of people started families in their late thirties or early forties.

You’re still quite young so of course you’ll be considered a young mum in some circles. You may not realise this until you hit your 30’s. You’re barely in your 20’s still, a lot of your peers will be just graduating university and starting their adult lives etc. None of my friend group had babies under 26/27, only one under 30, and now in our later 30’s most of my peers are only just having their firsts.

You aren’t “too young” but you will be a young mum amongst other mums at groups. I had my daughter at 28 and was often the youngest in the room. There’s only one group I can think of where a woman attended who was late teens/early 20s but she always came with her mum which I think drew more attention to it!

I was the youngest at my NCT aged 30... But I also live in London, where most people have babies at 37-42 in my experience

23 is crazy young to me, but only because the women I know have their kids at 30+, and even 40+.

Yes also could be that, it’s been quite a few years since you had your first. But yes you are a young mum, to be honest I got pregnant at 26 and a lot of people considered me a younger mum. Average age of a first time mum now is about 31 I believe.

You can’t win with society to be honest, you’re either too old or too young for someone else’s “best time to have a child” so just ignore anyone’s comments or looks, if you get them

I had my one and only at 18 so I know what ante natal comments towards younger Mothers are like, consequently I only went to antenatal twice because I found the nastiness hard to take. The thing is OP you're a woman who is carrying a child which is wonderful, you're going to bring a new life into the world so who cares how old you and what others say, just enjoy your pregnancy and your baby. I hope all goes well for you and congratulations on your pregnancy.

Will anyone be asking your age on a regular basis? Genuine question as I was 36 when I had my DC. Apart from the NHS repeatedly saying this was a GERIATRIC PREGNANCY no one else asked my age and I didn't ask other mums their age when I went along to antenatal classes / baby massage type things.

23 feels young to me, but that's likely because I was still at university at 23 and every mum I know was late 20s / early 30s when they had their first child.

I had my first at 15. Second at 19 I'm 24 now when I have my 3rd il likely be late 20s which will be ancient in my area to have a baby. I think it depends where you live. Even at 19 I wasn't seen as young to have a kid the only time I got comments when I was 15