Cafe humiliation

[Skyview7]

Took my DD (hardworking mum to my 2 DGC) for lunch in a very nice local cafe (pink tea pots, fresh roses on the tables) as a treat.
Lunch menu looked nice. We ordered and I asked if I could just check if my salad could be gluten free. At this the waitress asked if I was choosing or actually coeliac. I am in fact, coeliac and she said then informed me that I would need to sign something first. Honestly, I thought it was a joke but she came back with a large clipboard and an A4 sheet of paper and pen and asked me to have it signed by the time she returned; she was not going to take the order until this was done.
I sat staring at the paperwork wondering of this was for real. The paperwork was a disclaimer that if the cafe should inadvertantly slip me anything gluten laden then they would keep this piece of paper with my "consent" at the risks therein.
Several ladies having tea and lunches were staring at me and DD when the waitress came back; she was astonished that I hadn't signed their form yet. I just wanted to have a nice salad lunch with my daughter to treat her without having some jobsworth make me out to be some sort of liability to them. DD said it had sucked the good vibe right out and she was absolutely right.
So the waitress then asked why I wouldn't sign. I had to explain (calmly but upset) that I had hoped for kinder and far more inclusive customer service instead of singling me out and making me "other" whilst their diners looked on wondering why I was having to sign their paperwork before anyone was willing to serve us. She said, no, it's not like that - but I had to explain again that their paperwork was not to caring for the customer it was them covering their back against me if they were to make a mistake. Although I previously liked the cafe very much, DD and I left.
I'm a woman of the world and a solo traveller too. I have a happy go lucky nature but today...I really felt humiliated. AIBU?

I'd be tempted to point out that no-one can limit a claim for death or personal injury due to their negligence anyway, no matter what they ask you to sign.

Exactly.

Businesses are getting sued
Small cafes might struggle to be 100% sure there isn’t contamination
Tbh I think it would be better if they just said they can’t guarantee something won’t get contaminated and put a sign up and something on the menu.
Id rather that than having to sign a disclaimer

Then it’s my choice. At least I know there’s a slim risk

The problem @PussInBin20 is that more restaurants will refuse to serve people if the disclaimer actually meant diddlysquat.
If a cafe is going to this length I would guess their insurance company has been involved.

The choice is exactly that. They can accommodate allergies or they can't, not getting people to sign a meanjngless and spurious disclaimer.

And they would ignore you and hand you the clip board 🤣

I’ve had the same experience with a fairly large chain restaurant - as soon as I said I had an allergy but I knew what was safe for me from their menu the manager appeared and told us they wouldn’t serve us and we would have to leave.

It’s utterly humiliating and completely unnecessary. I’d have happily signed a waiver but they refused to have me in the building.

I asked if I could just check if my salad could be gluten free. At this the waitress asked if I was choosing or actually coeliac.

She sounds like she needs further training. This is a ridiculous thing to say to a customer.

I’ve worked in hospitality, (albeit 10 years ago) and when a customer explained they had an allergy or intolerance a manager would have to take their order, and they would then show the customer the list of ingredients and any traces of ‘X’ foods that may be in the dish. No disclaimers. No forms to sign. It was up to the customer wether they wanted to go ahead and order at their own risk.

OK @Skyview7 . You are a Grandma so you've survived this long ( say 65 years at a guess). I would wager you didn't even know you had coealic until the last 20 years max), Grew up eating bread etc. It's now the idea of a crumb of wheat in your salad is going to kill you , is the reason people struggle with coealics and more so the peope who say they have an "intolerance . Some poor dude barely making a living in a tiny cafe now has to cater to everyone who has an "intolerance" to bloody guava or something. No wonder they are getting people to sign forms.

I'm allergic to mushrooms and I've often ordered a breakfast where it's a help yourself style hot buffet but they ask me what I want and plate mine up in kitchen for me. This is because some customers might take the serving spoon used to serve mushroom and leave it in hash browns etc.

Hi OP. I feel you. I had this at Legoland Hotel. I was really surprised, it was so expensive to book there and thought it would be more inclusive ! Basically they are covering their backs.

I get asked this all the time.

Tough one. Kitchens are not labs, and they will always do their best, but the rate of people requiring or requesting uncontaminated food must be going up beyond a manageable rate.

I think if you are coeliac, allergic to nuts etc. you should call up first to ask them if they can accomodate you. This used to be the normal for people with extreme food allergies that I know.

I agree it isn’t remotely humiliating I’m coeliac and would have not made a fuss and just signed it. But maybe that’s because one of my DCs is a chef and I know what a worry all this is for them they genuinely don’t want to make their diners unwell or even kill them (not good for reviews/their reputation). In his kitchen they have a separate allergy free kitchen different utensils etc. if someone declares they have an allergy/coeliac he has to change his top/apron go into this kitchen and stay there until the food is cooked this obviously reduces the number of staff in the main kitchen. But cross contamination still remains a risk and diners are advised of this by the waitress. The thing that drives them mad are people who declare firmly and often loudly that they cannot eat a certain food thus sending a chef into the allergy kitchen usually for the main course but when it comes to pudding all of a sudden the serious allergy has miraculously disappeared. When asked about this the diner will then says “oh I’m not actually allergic to eggs/gluten/nuts I just avoid them” thus no need for food to be prepared in the allergy kitchen. This is why you might be asked if its an allergy/coeliac or you just avoid a certain food.
Being a chef is a shity hard job terrible long hours, split shifts, frequently dreadful working conditions; often physical and emotional abuse of junior staff usually awful wages, chronic staff shortages exacerbated by Brexit and now add in the rise in recent court cases following death after eating food accidentally containing allergens holding the resturant/cafe responsible restaurant/cafe owners are becoming unsurprisingly increasingly more cautious/giving it up and their insurers are placing more demands on them to try to avoid being sued.

Then they should not say it’s gluten free . We need another word for food with possible traces of gluten. This would suit people who are sensitive but not allergic. If you’re allergic even a trace can make you terribly ill.

I had this a couple of years ago at a train station.

I didn't mind, they are obviously taking intolerances and allergies seriously. The way they explained it to me was that they tried to keep known allergens separate they only had one prep area for the sandwiches.

The prep area was a counter in the café so obviously there would be a risk of cross contamination not just in the kitchen but from customers / waiting staff.

THIS is humiliation OP, not being asked to sign a bit of paper.

In this case I don’t think they did advertise it as gluten free though, the OP asked if it could be made gluten free.

Small cafe that mostly does sarnies, has one fryer, one coffee machine etc probably isn’t advertising any cafe-prepared stuff as gluten (or anything else) free. They may have pre-packaged options though. I don’t think those little 2 staff, 1 small counter ‘tea and sandwich’ cafes should be expected to be able to provide the same as a large chain with big professional kitchens etc should. Should that mean the cafe has to close because it can’t cater for all allergens? I don’t think so. I think they need to be clear on what they can and can’t provide. We don’t know the details of the waiver. If it was along the lines of ‘we’ve advised that the product is served from a small, single fridge, single prep area kitchen and although we will serve the salad without croutons and wash all the knives and chopping boards, it’s come out the only fridge which also has the bread in it, it wasn’t advertise as GF but we’ve done our best as per customer request’ then I think that’s fine. The other option is that they just refuse service on a blanket basis.

People with allergies might hate blanket being refused but it’s something people like me (type 1 diabetic) have been exposed to for years. It’s on the list of so many things where you can’t do something that is almost always perfectly fine. I was refused the spa at centre parks once for example. I’d much rather have signed a waiver in that scenario as I know how to handle heat, massages etc with my treatment but it wasn’t an option. It was just a no. Mind you, I wish places would take as much care with the very much under their control diet vs full sugar coke on an order as they do with the small chance of whether something pre-packaged might have come from a factory 3 stops down the line that might have touched gluten. Almost ubiquitously places have been fucking this up for years and years, from the smallest cafe to the largest of chains.

This is the norm you usually check menus online and they either carer or they don't.
One chippy we rang only caters for gluten free on a Saturday if they weren't busy.

You left. Good for you!

See this I find reassuring because it’s a measure to manage the issue. We have also been refused service due to serious allergies. It’s difficult on both sides.

Good on you for leaving. Their documents isn’t worth the paper it’s printed on. You can’t sign away their potential mistakes. I’d have laughed in their face or signed my name as Micky Mouse.

We had to do this at Heathrow. Not a big deal.

That’s a horrible post. You don’t know OP’s personal circumstances and whether her problems have worsened over time or she’s finally found out what caused life-long problems or whatever.

Yes, there are some people who will claim an allergy then wolf down a bowl of pasta, and it turns out they don’t have an allergy at all, just a preference. They do a disservice to those who truly are allergic or avoiding certain allergens for a good reason. I have several friends who are coeliac and it’s a bloody miserable disease to have. People like you just make things worse for them.

The Equality Act covers protected characteristics and would only apply if the allergy qualified as a disability, I believe.