To think the school only has itself to blame for nobody joining the PTA

[JandamiHash]

my DS’s primary has put a bit of a begging message in this week’s newsletter about “Do you enjoy the new playground markings, and community events, and a well stocked school library? This is all thanks to the efforts of our PTA! However, we don’t have nearly enough members to sustain it so if you don’t want to lose the benefits for your children, parents need to step up and join the committee so we can keep it going! We are looking for one parent from each class to do the right thing and volunteer.”

I have done PTA work in the past (and then became way too much to commit to) and I get it’s valuable. I always go to events and spend money too.

However, even if I had the time, I’d be disinclined to join because the school SLT seem to have gone down a road of patronising parents constantly. The newsletter every week congratulates all the children with 100% attendance for that term and says “Well done to those children!”. They also tell us which class has “won” at school attendance every fortnight. Nobody cares though. It’s probably a sore point because I have a disabled son who has been off school with hospital stays on a number of occasion. He’s only had 1 day off this term though thankfully. I hate the idea of congratulating only healthy and/or NT children for not being off sick.

Other annoying/patronising messages include:

• “We would like to see less junk and more fruit in lunchboxes! Why not make the effort and replace that chocolate bar with a banana this week”
• “We would like to remind parents that pencil cases should be small - we can’t be expected to magic a fat pencil case into a thin school drawer”
• ”It’s pumpkin making competition in 6 hours time, and we are telling you now [they don’t actually say that but they do give v short notice]. It can be a wonderful opportunity to put the phones and iPads down and spend some much needed craft time with your little ones.
• ”We know holidays can be fun, but what’s not fun is depriving a child of an education. Taking your child in term time, even for a cheaper holiday, is unacceptable and we do not authorise absences for this reason. There are plenty of places that are budget friendly in the school holidays, and your child’s education should take priority.”

Parents are sick of it. I have lots of parents who are friends and everyone moans about the newsletter content, they do at drop off and pick up too. Absolutely nobody is checking to see if their class has “won” good absence rates.

AIBU to think the school can’t patronise parents constantly then expect everyone to jump up to volunteer with the school? I know PTA is largely parent run and it’s for the benefit of the children, but I don’t feel like partnering with a place that seems hell bent on arsey (often ableist) messages and making the ND/disabled kids feel like shit for not being healthy enough for their liking.

Im actually half tempted to say this to the school.

I took issue with you blaming the admin person for telling people off about their pencil cases…

See this is important too. I actively spend at PTA events. One event organised was actually pathetic, I’m not saying the pta didn’t try but it was a summer bbq with 2 stalls and a few tables hurriedly set up by the pta parent with their kids on selling crap. My DCs had money to spend but nothing to spend it on, it all went on raffle tickets in the end. One pta member just bitched about lack of parent support ignoring the fact that lots of parents were there to spend money.

They ended up raising more money than usual as money wasn’t being spent on outside stalls who just pay a pitch free keeping their profits. Parents were handing over £1 instead of 50p for hook a duck, parents like myself were buying up loads of raffle tickets, saying keep the change.

Not everyone can or wants to be an organiser but these events wouldn’t be successful without parents turning up and spending. I think this is quite often forgotten.

I also want to add, there is a fund raising event currently being organised in school, children are to bring in unwanted gifts to sell on stalls in school for Mother’s Day. I know not all parents will send things in and although I have 2 children in the school I’m sending in 4 gifts out of my own pocket, nice ones that are worth more than the £2.50 they will sell for so that there are enough gifts and the school isn’t trying to buy extras to make sure there is enough. I know the teachers and they will make sure there is enough for the children who don’t have money to get something to take home. So it’s my way of helping.

Well people are saying how PTAs budgets are propping up schools so I’d say it was in the school’s interest.

I know the school isn’t a person. It’s an organisation of people however

I think schools educating children should use spell check in their work. Hardly a huge ask

I also despair at the SPAG in schools, not just newsletters but in work they set

Obviously. Not the admin BillyILash was complaining about, however! Spellcheck and autocorrect can be a disaster in the wrong hands. Probably safer to retain the Headteacher’s original spelling, grammar and punctuation errors!

No, people have repeatedly told you that PTA cannot fund the core costs of the school but can fund for extras.

The admin staff, teachers, headteacher will not have their lives improved by the work of a PTA, but the children might.

Well according to others on this thread the PTA pays for essentials that school can’t budget for, including volunteer DBS checks and school trip subsidies so I don’t agree with you at all

Those benefit the children.

School trips aren’t essential. That’s why schools usually put in wording about them having to be cancelled if people don’t pay the amount being asked for.

If schools don’t benefit from PTAs it’s a wonder that they so often have to make a push for parents to join.

The school I work in has been asked to put articles in the newsletter by the PTA which ask for more volunteers. It’s never done that off its own bat, because the staff at the school are not part of the PTA, so it’s not the school asking for the help. Parents, however, appear to think that everything that goes in the newsletter is from and by “the school,” which is really quite irritating when parents persist in contacting the school to ask for details of PTA events and complaining about poor communication and late notice of their events, when it’s not the school organising it and parents have been given all the contact details for the PTA, so really should be pestering them, instead.

Fwiw, the PTA do also frequently ask for school staff to help out at PTA events, but as with parents, not all staff feel willing or able to do it - and if they were, they might prefer to spend their spare time benefiting their own children’s schools, rather than spending the day having other children’s grumpy parents complaining to them about the PTA.

Have you ever considered that many school staff work in schools because they want what's best for children?

The school messages are nothing to do with the PTA though. Most PTAs are desperate for volunteers, but why are you tying that into the school newsletters? The PTA probably asked for the request to be added in, and if more people get involved, perhaps it would foster a better relationship between parents and the school?

Having been the Chair of a large school PTA for years, I’d like to point out that the school and their PA/PTA are two different entities. Usually the PTA is a separately run charity. We don’t/can’t influence curriculum/finance/governance decisions that the school makes. Usually the PTAs job is purely to raise funds to help the kids and give them some fun events like discos/fetes etc. If you don’t like your school, your beef is with the school or the Board of Governors if serious, not the hard working volunteer parents of your PTA.

That’s so rude, to call other parents thick - wow! Bet you are PTA Queen I would avoid you like the plague at the school gate and trip you up on sports day!

The communications are extremely patronising and anyone who thinks they’re not must enjoy being spoken to like a 9 year old.
i would even think about changing schools it would annoy me that much, because there will never be a vibrant school community whilst that tone continues and it causes division not only between the school and parents but between the parents too. Life at the moment is far too divisive and children don’t need to be in a toxic non inclusive environment by pointing out unhealthy lunch boxes and sick days. These topics need to be handled far more sensitively.

Everyone has reasons why they won't join the PTA or help the PTA. Being addressed by the school in a certain way is just one more excuse.to add to the list.

Smart PTAs offer micro volunteering opportunities. It's the law of any active community, 1% do most, 5% do lots, 20% do something occasionally and the rest lurk.

"I have lots of parents who are friends and everyone moans about the newsletter content, they do at drop off and pick up too."

This is just what your child needs in education, endless moaning and a complete lack of support for the school. It won't affect them at all. They'll fly through their GCSEs. They'll really 'get' that you're on the same team as the people who are actually trying their damndest to teach them.

The reason schools patronise parents is that most parents are thick as two short ones. Did you carve that pumpkin? Is the pencil case sensible? Are you deciding the beach is more important than critical thinking skills?

Quite. If you didn’t get the phone out you wouldn’t know about the competition.
I guess that would be me as the phone tends to only come out after bedtime…. that would be too late…

I agree the messages are patronising and rather assuming of peooles home life-it would orob get my back up a bit too. But id go and soeak to the office about it then follow up with an email CC'ing the head teacher and explain alot ofmoarents feel this way too. We pretty much have the same newsletters-but it is worded better!

If you want to join the PTA, then u should do it. It will help your LO with better opportunities at school. Don't let snarky remarks that aren't necessarily about you stop that x

Sounds like the school are getting their messaging wrong and they are losing support of the parents. Do you think they aware of how they are coming across?

In relation to the attendance, blame OFSTED. They are going to judge schools on their attendance from now on. I expect more schools will be like your DCs in the future.

I’d love to tell the truth - that I won’t join the PTA because many of the mums in the PTA are too much. Too in your face and too bossy. After volunteering one time and being spoken to like I’m thick, I vowed to myself not to bother again.

Of course I wouldn’t say that to their faces, so I’d make up an excuse.