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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To worry my DD8 might be too attached to her cuddly toys??

135 replies

RedFish1 · 20/03/2025 22:19

DD is going on a school trip soon. She has two cuddly toys she has slept with since she was 6 months old and we have made a decision a few months ago, that it might be best for those cuddly toys to stay at home. DD has been practicing sleeping with other cuddly toys but tonight she got embarrassed and after some convincing, told me that she worries about making her cuddly toys feel sad and she feels bad to leave her favourite ones on the floor. I think the reason she was embarrassed is because obviously she knows they don’t have real feelings. She is a really sensitive and caring little girl. She never wants to make anyone sad, so I suppose this explains why she’s feeling guilty to not have them with her at night.

We have made an agreement that I will take care of them at night whilst she practices going to sleep with other cuddly toys. That way, she doesn’t have to see them so hopefully won’t feel so guilty.

Im just a little worried that this is too strong an attachment. This is new to me as my eldest didn’t have a cuddly toy she depended on and I’d really appreciate some advice. Thanks.

OP posts:
SoftPillow · 20/03/2025 22:22

She’s only 8, this sounds perfectly normal to me.

My 8 year old still sometimes tells me, whispering as if it’s a secret, that she knows her favourite bear is real. I reply ‘of course, he is real to you and that’s what matters’. She sounds like a sweet and caring child.

HTruffle · 20/03/2025 22:22

I personally would just let her have the special ones, it sounds pretty normal to me. Why take away something she adores and makes her feel comfortable and happy?

HamPieQueen · 20/03/2025 22:23

8 is still really young! I don’t think this is a problem. My girls are 12 and 15 and still sleep with a cuddly. (Awaiting being launched at for “babying” my children)

If it makes her feel secure, what’s wrong with that? They’re grown up for such a long time. Let her be a child.

MidnightPatrol · 20/03/2025 22:23

Why won’t you just let her have the ones she likes?

All sounds very harmless.

lifeturnsonadime · 20/03/2025 22:24

Leave her be, she'll grow up soon enough.

If she needs her cuddlies then let her have them.

Haribosweets · 20/03/2025 22:25

My son is 15 and can't sleep without a cuddly toy he got at age 7. He is autistic though. Just let her, she is so young and wants comfort x

Annascaul · 20/03/2025 22:27

She’ll be fine to take them on the school trip, if that’s what you’re worried about.
Our school always included favourite bears on the “essentials” packing list, to cover for those that really needed them.

Poppyseeds79 · 20/03/2025 22:27

I'm not sure I understand the point? If it's to wean her off wanting/needing to take them on the trip? Then I don't see how alternative teddies will help? I'd just go with talking about how it'll only be the time on the trip they won't be with her, and it'll be a different bed to home, other kids there anyway.

TimeForTeaAndG · 20/03/2025 22:27

My 12yo DD still has her favourite teddy at night. She never takes it to other places, but her and plenty of her classmates had cuddly toys with them on their Primary School residential trip last year. Leave her to grow up at her own pace. Too soon she will be rolling her eyes at you and tutting at you for daring to just be in the same breathing space 😆

PollyannaGladGame · 20/03/2025 22:29

DD is almost 18 and a partying, working, sixth former - she still sleeps with her ted and still goes everywhere with us, he is a very well travelled bear!

She went on her first girls weekend away this year and he went, he’ll be going to uni with her in September. I really wouldn’t worry and try and wean her off, it’s very normal.

TheCryingTheBitchAndTheFloordrobe · 20/03/2025 22:29

My DD had one she was unbelievably attached to at around this age, or maybe even a bit older. She slept with it nightly, it came on holiday and on day trips and she took it to school in her bag every day. I never tried to discourage it, just waited for her to become less attached over time, which of course she did.

Personally, I’d neither worry about this nor push it. Occasionally other children would say something to my DD, but I told her not to pay too much attention and to just do what felt right to her, and the comments didn’t bother her.

Matronic6 · 20/03/2025 22:30

Plenty of year 6s have brought cuddly toys on their residentials. Plenty of adults also have things to help them sleep. She's only 8, there is no reason to take them away from her.

xWren · 20/03/2025 22:31

My daughter’s school put “teddy bears and comforts” on the essentials list for her overnight camping stay (she’s 7).

My best friend (32) still sleeps either her childhood teddy every night. She’s a wife and mother.

My niece (13) still sleeps with her baby blanket (hardly a blanket anymore).

Shes allowed her favourite teddies. I imagine there’ll be many other 8 year-olds going on the same trip who will take their favourite teddy and your daughter might feel even more sad knowing she could have taken hers.

Londonrach1 · 20/03/2025 22:33

Yabu. I'm 40 ish and still sleep with my cuddy toy... I know my sister's teens so as does a lot of adults. She is 8. I promise you most of her class will sleep with soft toys and most will take them away!

parietal · 20/03/2025 22:33

Nothing wrong with having cuddly toys for as long as a child (or adult) wants them. Just put a name tape on any toy that leaves the house and hope none go missing.

Original poster
RedFish1 · 20/03/2025 22:34

Thanks so much for the reassurance everyone.

For those saying she should just take them. These cuddly toys and completely irreplaceable to her and she doesn’t actually want to take them because she doesn’t want to risk losing them. And I agree. She is a really busy child, bouncing from one thing to the next constantly. She is very “in the moment”, and as a result, will often lose things.

It would be awful for her if she lost them. I just don’t think it’s worth the risk. I think it’s good for her to have an alternative to take on sleepovers etc, as she’ll no doubt be doing more of that in the next couple of years.

OP posts:
alongtimeagoandfaraway · 20/03/2025 22:36

Not a teddy but a cuddly blanket. We worried, when my daughter went on her first Brownie camp, that others might make fun of her so we buried it deep in her sleeping bag. And then we saw that all the - incredibly grown up it seemed to us- guides had cuddly toys with them.
That was a long time ago. It’s travelled extensively with her since. She’s now in her 30s and recently sent me a pic of her baby cuddling up to it…

OolongTeaDrinker · 20/03/2025 22:36

I don’t think I’d let my 8 year old go on a school trip where they couldn’t bring their favourite ted. Surely most kids that age still sleep with their cuddly toys. It’s obviously not working for your daughter so just leave her be and give her back her favourite teds.

Perculiar · 20/03/2025 22:36

Aw she sounds totally normal don’t worry. Could she take a photo of them?

Coatsoff42 · 20/03/2025 22:37

Are your DDs favourite toys still
availble to buy? If so then let her take them on the trip, and if they get lost, which is unlikely, you can have a new one replace them via some magical refurbishment postal service.
She sounds like she has a very caring heart and loves her toys very much, which is a wonderful thing.

Rubyupbeat · 20/03/2025 22:37

Aww... she is so young, please let her sleep with them. Maybe not take them away in case they get lost.
I am 60 and still have my beloved threadbare panda (same age as me) and, whom I would never part with.

faerietales · 20/03/2025 22:37

Why are you taking her favourite toys away from her? That seems so mean!

Original poster
RedFish1 · 20/03/2025 22:38

Perculiar · 20/03/2025 22:36

Aw she sounds totally normal don’t worry. Could she take a photo of them?

This is a lovely idea. I will take a little Polaroid of them and pop it in her case. She will love that. ❤️

OP posts:
xWren · 20/03/2025 22:38

RedFish1 · 20/03/2025 22:34

Thanks so much for the reassurance everyone.

For those saying she should just take them. These cuddly toys and completely irreplaceable to her and she doesn’t actually want to take them because she doesn’t want to risk losing them. And I agree. She is a really busy child, bouncing from one thing to the next constantly. She is very “in the moment”, and as a result, will often lose things.

It would be awful for her if she lost them. I just don’t think it’s worth the risk. I think it’s good for her to have an alternative to take on sleepovers etc, as she’ll no doubt be doing more of that in the next couple of years.

That’s a fair point!
Does she sleep with her favourites like under her arm to sleep?
If so, could she put her favourites at the end of her bed and “camping bear” sleeps under her arm? And alternate each night.
The “end of the bed” teddies could be practicing camping or something… it depends what stories you tell your daughter to settle her mind.

MasterBeth · 20/03/2025 22:38

She’s only 8, this sounds perfectly normal to me.

Agree.

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