To worry my DD8 might be too attached to her cuddly toys??

[RedFish1]

DD is going on a school trip soon. She has two cuddly toys she has slept with since she was 6 months old and we have made a decision a few months ago, that it might be best for those cuddly toys to stay at home. DD has been practicing sleeping with other cuddly toys but tonight she got embarrassed and after some convincing, told me that she worries about making her cuddly toys feel sad and she feels bad to leave her favourite ones on the floor. I think the reason she was embarrassed is because obviously she knows they don’t have real feelings. She is a really sensitive and caring little girl. She never wants to make anyone sad, so I suppose this explains why she’s feeling guilty to not have them with her at night.

We have made an agreement that I will take care of them at night whilst she practices going to sleep with other cuddly toys. That way, she doesn’t have to see them so hopefully won’t feel so guilty.

Im just a little worried that this is too strong an attachment. This is new to me as my eldest didn’t have a cuddly toy she depended on and I’d really appreciate some advice. Thanks.

Our cub scout leader (8-11) issued a packing list for a camp away that started with ‘teddy’. He reiterated at the pre-meeting to bring teddy if teddy wanted to come.

So smart.

Every school trip I've ever sent my dc in as teddy as number one on the list of things they need to take. The teaches take one too so that everyone feels the same and okay about a perfectly normal thing to want.

<looks a huge teddy sat next to me on the bed>

I’m wondering if I’ve not explained my OP properly. I am not taking them away from her. She is the one who wants to take different cuddly toys on the trip. It’s actually DD who has been placing her favourites next to her bed on the floor and sleeping with other ones. She is trying to get used to others as she doesn’t want to lose these ones on the trip.

But seeing them on the floor in her room has made her sad. Hence why I’ve offered to look after them for her tonight. She knows where they are and I would of course give her them if she comes and asks for them.

Perhaps it’s too cold on the floor for them? Could they go in a ‘tent’ in her room? With blankets etc.

If she really can’t sleep without them though, she could just take them.

One of the toys is not available to buy. It’s also 8 years old with a worn out ear. No other would be the same. The other one has had arms and legs sewn back on, her nose replaced etc. She looks nothing like the original, so is equally irreplaceable. That’s the worry!

She does love the other two stuffed animals that she will be taking. It’s just trying to adjust to sleeping with those two. She is currently tucked up in bed fast asleep with them as we speak, so we are having some success.

I disagree with some of the other posts somewhat. Special teddies have never gone on school trips here because of the risk of them getting lost or damaged. We've talked very honestly about why it's safer to leave them at home and that we will look after them. We've always taken aess loved cuddly on primary school trips and generally it's been very normal that teddies have been taken

My 31 year old self, with a nursing career and a baby, has a whole shelf of teddies that I rotate through at night, because I don't want any to be left out 🤣🤷

Could you take her to a shop to pick out a special travel buddy teddy for the trip? :)

Dd 17 still.sleeps with her favourite emotional support ( soft toy) animal as she laughing calls her. The bunny now does not travel with her though. Let your dd have her toy, she will stop when she's ready( or they fall to bits). I secretly suspect my ds still cuddles his bears at 21 ! Both are otherwise normal functional young adults.

If she took her favourites, it would be absolutely heartbreaking for her if something happened to them. I think she would be traumatised, in all honesty. Of course there would also be a risk of something happening to one of them on day 1, and that would just be absolutely awful for her to deal with whilst away from home. I think having an alternative is important.

My DD is 22 and she takes her “two” everywhere there’s a overnight stay 😂she never lost them but she forgot them several times ,we had them sent home over the years from all over the country + few overseas countries, guess we were lucky

My son got to the stage where the risk of losing his two favourite cuddly toys on a trip was greater than the thought of being without them. He also worried as they were getting a bit old and tired and not really up for travelling.
This all came from him, but he told us that it was fine they were at home, because they knew exactly what he was doing and could see everything he saw so didn't feel left out. Also, they were never allowed on the floor, they had a chair and a cushion they sat on.
But he came up with that explanation for himself, so it might be a bit strange to try to introduce it yourself. And if you do try it and she ends up in counselling because of the strange cuddly toys that could see everything she saw, please don't blame me.

Why can’t she have her cuddly toys, they’re her comfort. DS9 wouldn’t be without his. I’ve seen some girls in his class have little ones attached to their bags. Very normal.

She's only 8, sounds absolutely normal
Kids are emotional and get attached to things, especially the toys that hold their hearts.

My DD used to get upset and feel guilty for picking out red peppers from bolognese sauce. She would go to the food bin in tears , apologising to the red peppers and asking me over and over if the peppers were ok.

My DD is 10 and still has favourite cuddly toys that she sleeps with, whenever she’s had friends over for a sleepover they all bring a cuddly toy with them. It’s harmless and cute.
Even my teenager has a couple of favourites that she says are going with her when she goes to university!

When DS was in cadets, so 11yo + they'd have teddy parades on camp. It was compulsory for everyone to take a teddy, so that those who needed them could do so without embarrassment.

I'm a Guide leader so up to age 14. Our packing lists also say a teddy.... And yes they all bring one and sometimes someone borrows mine if they're feeling a little homesick.

I'm in my 30s and still sleep with my cuddly toy that I've had since I was 5 or so. Only since having kids myself did I stop taking him on holiday 😂 my DD sometimes has him for a cuddle. I'm also going to admit that I wouldn't leave him sitting on the floor as would feel bad. She'll be fine, I'm actually mostly pretty normal. I have a friend in a very senior role same age as me who also still has hers.

But I agree, alternatives should go on trips, although I think I took mine on school trips and never felt worried about losing them. Is she a bit forgetful and likely to lose them or is she pretty good about remembering things?

Can you put a shelf up so that the special teddies are in sight, rather than on the floor?

Totally normally and why can't she take them on her school trip, plenty of the other children will do she won't be the only one by a long way

She sounds adorable. Enjoy her. Sleeping with 2 toys is fine.

My little boy is 7 and cannot be without his penguin at nighttime.

No matter what time I may randomly check on him during the night, 10pm, midnight, 4am, and no matter what random position he’s managed to get himself in… he is holding onto that penguin for dear life.

I would never dream of taking that level of comfort away from him, no matter how old he is.

I thought this was normal. I remember as a child, if the weather was stormy or cold outside I’d get every single cuddly toy and my little pony under the covers with me as I didn’t want them to be scared! I’m a complete empath now! My daughter is only four and tells me the toys ‘aren’t real mummy’ 😂😂

Also, just to add, she is doing the odd night here and there of trying to sleep without them. Most nights she has her favourites with her still. ☺️

I think what you are doing sounds a good way to prepare. Offering to look after them was a good solution. My DS sleeps with a bear every night & often takes one away with him and he’s now in secondary school!

My son is 13 and mature and responsible yet wants to take her favourite teddy on his 3 day school trip next month. 8 is very young. My almost 10 year old sounds very similar to yours. Innocence is lovely