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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To worry my DD8 might be too attached to her cuddly toys??

135 replies

RedFish1 · 20/03/2025 22:19

DD is going on a school trip soon. She has two cuddly toys she has slept with since she was 6 months old and we have made a decision a few months ago, that it might be best for those cuddly toys to stay at home. DD has been practicing sleeping with other cuddly toys but tonight she got embarrassed and after some convincing, told me that she worries about making her cuddly toys feel sad and she feels bad to leave her favourite ones on the floor. I think the reason she was embarrassed is because obviously she knows they don’t have real feelings. She is a really sensitive and caring little girl. She never wants to make anyone sad, so I suppose this explains why she’s feeling guilty to not have them with her at night.

We have made an agreement that I will take care of them at night whilst she practices going to sleep with other cuddly toys. That way, she doesn’t have to see them so hopefully won’t feel so guilty.

Im just a little worried that this is too strong an attachment. This is new to me as my eldest didn’t have a cuddly toy she depended on and I’d really appreciate some advice. Thanks.

OP posts:
TheGoogleMum · 21/03/2025 08:20

My 11 yr old neice still loves a cuddly toy. It's fine

brunettemic · 21/03/2025 08:20

My DD goes on Cub camps and the “kit list”
issued includes cuddly toy, she always takes one. We usually have to make it’s only one 😂
Nothing wrong with cuddly toys! I’m not saying I don’t sleep with a Winnie the Pooh every night, I’m also not saying I don’t…

claudiawinklemansfringetrimmer · 21/03/2025 08:21

Totally normal, I had a written rota for my teddies sleeping in my bed so nobody got left out!

Also sensible to not send the very special ones on a trip. My most favourite bear (I’m 32, still love him) has never been on a trip or holiday, that is a job for a second tier teddy

PluckedOutOfThinAir · 21/03/2025 08:26

Just give them to her. At 8 lots of kids will still sleep with teddies. When my dd went on an overnight school trip at age 8 all the girls in her room had brought a soft toy.

Cuddly toys can be a source of great comfort to kids and help them learn how to self soothe. Especially when they are away from home for the first time having a soft toy with them will help.

i also don't think she is weird for feeling bad for them. I still feel bad if my dc kick or throw their soft toys. They are designed to be anthromorphised and to evoke nurturing feelings in people I suppose.

Iloveeverycat · 21/03/2025 08:29

My son took one of his soft toys on a school trip when that age. They lost his bag so never got it back. Luckily it wasn't one he was attached to. But it will be fine to take something.

RedToothBrush · 21/03/2025 08:30

DSs school encourages the children to take soft toys to school residental in year 5.

All his friends took one.

He's 10.

You are trying to make her grow up before she is ready. She is displaying age appropriate behaviour.

Don't be that parent.

Kattuccino · 21/03/2025 08:31

My 15 yr old DS took one of his favourite cuddly toys on his most recent trip away 🤣 I don't think you have anything to worry about!

PluckedOutOfThinAir · 21/03/2025 08:33

claudiawinklemansfringetrimmer · 21/03/2025 08:21

Totally normal, I had a written rota for my teddies sleeping in my bed so nobody got left out!

Also sensible to not send the very special ones on a trip. My most favourite bear (I’m 32, still love him) has never been on a trip or holiday, that is a job for a second tier teddy

Love the written Rota!! My dd does the same on trips. She never takes her current favourite either but a second tier one.

This reminds me of when my brother was about 16 or so. He didn't play with teddies anymore but indulged me when I went to him with my teddies. I usually kept a few of my teddies in his room. None of his friends ever mentioned anything except for one guy who kept making fun of him for having teddies in his room. My brother didn't seem too bothered. He said something to the guy about using them as punching bags. I felt bad and guilty but he told me later not to worry and that the guy was just an idiot. And to his credit he didn't ask me to stop bringing them to his room.

XWKD · 21/03/2025 08:35

She sounds lovely. I'm 50 years older and still sleep with my teddies, so don't take my advice. 🤣

Mischance · 21/03/2025 08:38

So many students take their cuddly toys to uni ... leave your DD to enjoy them .... she is only 8. I bet others on her trip will a cuddly toy in their luggage.

PluckedOutOfThinAir · 21/03/2025 08:39

Apologies op I misread your post. I thought you are trying to stop her from sleeping with any teddies in her bed or taking any teddies on the trip or become too attached to teddies in general. If I understand correctly you are worried about her being attached to two particular teddies. Is that right?

Anyway, either way I don't know a single child of any age who doesn't have a favourite teddy. I think it's pretty normal to be attached to a particular one. As I said ij my previous post they are designed to be anthropomorphic and for humans to bond with them so it makes sense to have favourites.

However it is a good idea to not take her favourites on the trip in case she loses them.

Runssometimes · 21/03/2025 08:44

Fordian · 20/03/2025 22:40

Our cub scout leader (8-11) issued a packing list for a camp away that started with ‘teddy’. He reiterated at the pre-meeting to bring teddy if teddy wanted to come.

So smart.

We do that for Scouts and cubs at our group. We put Mascot/teddy (vital) in the kit list. Adults bring one too as it makes the kids feel less embarrassed and is comforting for kids especially those who’ve maybe not been away before.

Boomer84 · 21/03/2025 08:44

My 12 year old boy still sleeps with his ‘Pandy’ and won’t hide it from friends when they visit. And no he doesn’t get bullied over it either. Let her be a child, she’s 8 🙄

Whoarethoseguys · 21/03/2025 08:47

She is still very young, why not just let her sleep with her favourite comforters and let her take one on the school trip. She probably won't be the only one to take a soft toy.
My daughter took her favourite teddy with her when she went to university.

InWithThePlums · 21/03/2025 08:49

I still sleep with a cuddly toy and I’m a proper adult. And I have to say good night to her or she’ll be upset Smile

Marmite27 · 21/03/2025 08:51

She’s 8. I’m a Brownie leader and it’s a rare Brownie that doesn’t bring a teddy. They’re a link to home and comfort.

My DC9’s school residential did a teddy bears tea party for lunch one of the days.

ErrolTheDragon · 21/03/2025 08:52

Read the OPs posts, folks! She’s not trying to stop her child having her teddies in bed or taking one on holiday.

Whatafustercluck · 21/03/2025 08:56

Bless her, she sounds really sweet. Let her have them, she obviously needs them. And I'd also be reassuring her that most other children will take a special teddy on the school trip. My son definitely took one at that age (and it was on the school's kit list!) and his friends did, too. I'd just talk to her about putting it somewhere safe and that she doesn't have to get it out until she feels comfortable to do so, at bedtime.

Fwiw my dd is also 8 and she would absolutely be taking her Raffi with her! It's their connection to home, love, comfort and safety. Perfectly normal.

Runssometimes · 21/03/2025 08:58

Just to add my DS13 takes his special three usually with him. We did lose the most precious one tragically at Glastonbury festival when he was about two. He was in a cart letting ‘white Elly’ look out and I’d warned him several times that if she fell we’d never find her again. It was one of the very muddy years. Sure enough she fell, and we looked but obviously she’d have been tramped and the same colour as the mud. He didn’t cry but was very sad indeed. But announced Elly was dancing with Dolly. Dolly Parton played that year and he loved her. He used to mention it periodically but it wasn’t as traumatic as I thought it would be. Definitely very sad and misses her but noticed he was a lot more careful about them since, however he also has no problem with any of the hundreds of soft toys being on the floor/inside the duvet cover, wedged down the side of the bed, but the main three (we had a not the same back up Elly) are usually with him.

Onelifeonly · 21/03/2025 09:00

She isn't likely to lose them on a trip - they'll stay on or near her bed, surely. It's perfectly normal for children to take cuddly toys on an overnight trip - especially at 8.

ParrotParty · 21/03/2025 09:04

That's completely normal.
Year 6 camp list had a Teddy on it for ours. At around 10 I remember one friend bringing a huge backpack full of cuddlys and a giant unicorn nearly a meter long to a sleepover too. At 8 I'd definitely expect it still.

BlondiePortz · 21/03/2025 09:07

Why do you need this much control that seems more unhealthy that the toys

Emanresuunknown · 21/03/2025 09:07

RedFish1 · 20/03/2025 22:19

DD is going on a school trip soon. She has two cuddly toys she has slept with since she was 6 months old and we have made a decision a few months ago, that it might be best for those cuddly toys to stay at home. DD has been practicing sleeping with other cuddly toys but tonight she got embarrassed and after some convincing, told me that she worries about making her cuddly toys feel sad and she feels bad to leave her favourite ones on the floor. I think the reason she was embarrassed is because obviously she knows they don’t have real feelings. She is a really sensitive and caring little girl. She never wants to make anyone sad, so I suppose this explains why she’s feeling guilty to not have them with her at night.

We have made an agreement that I will take care of them at night whilst she practices going to sleep with other cuddly toys. That way, she doesn’t have to see them so hopefully won’t feel so guilty.

Im just a little worried that this is too strong an attachment. This is new to me as my eldest didn’t have a cuddly toy she depended on and I’d really appreciate some advice. Thanks.

I don't get it why would you not let her take them? I can assure you when kids go on residential in year 6 and 7 they all take a favourite cuddly or two?!

Shes only 8?

Emanresuunknown · 21/03/2025 09:09

ErrolTheDragon · 21/03/2025 08:52

Read the OPs posts, folks! She’s not trying to stop her child having her teddies in bed or taking one on holiday.

No but she's trying to stop her taking the ones she's most attached to that will give her most comfort?

CasperGutman · 21/03/2025 09:10

Never mind other people's teenagers. My mum's well into her seventies and her favourite teddy still lives by her bed! An eight year old is still young. My daughter's nine and has a school residential trip coming up. She's torn between which of three favourite toys she should take, but there's no question of her going without.

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