Boyfriend keeps pushing my boundaries

[Hurricanejsms]

Bfs family is visiting and he keeps allowing them to come in my room unannounced. It’s my time of the month and I got blood on the sheets which they seen from him not telling them it’s off limits. So embarrassing. Everytime I try telling him it turns into an argument and he gets defensive and tells me about how bad I treat him and he tries so hard to please me. How am I in the wrong?

Tell his family directly not to come into your room and change your sheets when you get out of bed.

I have since but they already seen in the morning and made comments. It’s so humiliating.

Easy answer. You are not in the wrong at all. He needs to tell them to stay out of your room.

Don't listen to his nonsense. It's good to have boundaries and he is not being badly treated by you enforcing them.

He sounds like a weirdo, just dump him.

I find it insanity how he could possibly spin this back on me and act like I have to accept it.

He can act however he fancies, it's up to you to choose if he's worth dating.

Anyone who comments on such a natural thing a woman goes through is an imbecile.

It is a reflection on them, not you. They are pathetic.

Every woman has leaked at some point in her menstrual journey.

This situation is a reflection of your future. He will never back you up or priotisoe you or take your side over his family.

So the question is, are you happy to bite your tongue and be second best forever?

Are you happy to have your parenting criticised and comments made about you in front of your children with no support from him?

If the answer is no, end it now.

Also so what? You bled on the sheets in your own bed like lots of other women will every Month.

They are all weird for commenting and invading your space.

Dump him.

Now you know he won't have your back when it comes to his family being intrusive and rude in your space and making stupid comments. He's more interested in pleasing his family when they're being rude than you, his gf being comfortable.

Are you sure you want to continue seeing this guy? You just got a good look at how life with him is going to go and it's not going to improve.

He will never have your back over his family

He's unable to say no to them or instil boundaries

Act accordingly

His family shouldn’t need to be told to knock.

My experience with people like this is there is absolutely no getting through to them.

He should at least try, though.

He is a product of his upbringing.
He has the capacity to change but he has to want to.
He is mature enough (or should be if you are living together) to understand that you are entitled to set the rules in your home and his family need to be told to respect that.
If he cant have your back when you want privacy in your bedroom hes imo not worth investing your life with because life can get so much harder that that.
Sorry but I dont think he is going to change.

Dump him and his family.

@Hurricanejsms why are they going in your room in the first place?? I would be getting a lock on that door. a fingerprint lock would be good. If he was really trying so hard to please you then he wouldnt allow this to happen!

I find this bizarre that his family think it is acceptable just to walk into a bedroom uninvited. Ask them politely to not walk in - FFS you could be getting changed and completely naked!

What reason do they have to come into your room at all?

Dump him. He’s not a kind man.

I told him I want to talk about being with him. I honestly think it’s too far gone for him to redeem himself. It’s gaslighting making me feel bad for wanting my own space.

I had this problem once when a friend was visiting us and he'd just walk in while I was getting ready. No matter how many times he was told he kept doing it. He seemed to think I was like a sister to him because we were brought up together from being babies. I fitted a sliding lock on the door inside my room. He couldn't get in and was quite upset about it. Tough my dignity comes first. So get a lock and screw it to the door it's a ten minute job.

Context. Arenuou both in the room? Are his parents knocking? What's the reason for them being in the room?

Get a door wedge. Put a sign on the door saying "Please knock before entering". Tell them to knock on the door before coming in.

Open the bathroom door & leave it open when he's on the toilet. See how he likes his privacy invaded.
Then dump him. (Excuse the pun)

No knocking. Most of the time no. He has left me to host and says he has to work.

Why do they need/want to be in your room?

What exactly were the "comments"?