Boyfriend keeps pushing my boundaries

[Hurricanejsms]

Bfs family is visiting and he keeps allowing them to come in my room unannounced. It’s my time of the month and I got blood on the sheets which they seen from him not telling them it’s off limits. So embarrassing. Everytime I try telling him it turns into an argument and he gets defensive and tells me about how bad I treat him and he tries so hard to please me. How am I in the wrong?

I am making my own money from our business. I do the admin around the kids and make a salary. But I definitely don’t have time to be dealing with intrusion

In that case, there really shouldn't be anything stopping you getting rid of him. You deserve better than this, you know you do.

His parents are still there so tell them yourself,
“Can I just mention that I don’t like anyone coming into our bedroom”….
”Please don’t come into our bedroom any more as it makes me uncomfortable”….
”I’m not used to family coming into our bedroom, just thought I’d mention”…
If they don’t like it, so what, they can sod off and if your partner complains, he can sod off as well…
Put your foot down OP…

Absolutely this. He has shown you who he is. Be grateful for a lucky escape!

Yup, this.

Not that it's the point, but you aren't a SAHM then, you work from home and also earn a wage so in a better position financially.

You don’t have to accept this from him.

You don’t have to accept his parents’ comments either. Decent people would not gave gone in your room without your permission and if they had been in, and seen the sheets, they would have behaved as though they hadn’t.

You ought to leave this set up in my opinion.

Well now that you've told us that you can afford to live without him OP, then I think as you put it earlier, you are an idiot for continuing to put up with this sort of treatment. Tell him and his parents that you've had enough, and that they all need to go!

Why on earth would his family come in your bedroom??

I’m not sure I understand. Why would they be coming in your room?

All sounds a bit odd re them coming in and commenting on the blood etc

OP is working. She's taking care of a baby.

There are millions of other men out there that will treat you right.

You don't have to stay and put up with this utter disrespect.

Yed it’s very strange. Even stranger to experience as that’s never happened to me before. They will come in without knocking or to spend time with us, again without knocking. Or to use the en suite etc (2 bathrooms).

Why don't you tell them just to stay out of your room and if needed then knock and wait for a response

Wedge the top of a dining chair under the handle so that they can't get in for now, and then get yourself a simple lock to put on.

I would tell them straight not to come into your bedroom without knocking first, it's an invasion of your privacy.

Nothing to be humiliated about, it happens. Just change the sheets as normal.

What an odd bunch of people going in your bedroom!

Boyfriend sounds like an idiot. Your bedroom is private, you have every right to not be upset.

Why do you have blood on your sheets ? Surely you can control your bleeding with products. Do you not have enough ?

Why are they coming into your bedroom ?

This is classic narcissistic behaviour - the perfect partner until they feel they have you trapped/hooked, then their real personality appears.
Couple this with the blame-shifting, pushing boundaries, and whining that he can never make you happy (because, clearly, you're such hard work, so everything is your fault).
I'll bet you can never have a conversation about anything that might possibly put him in a bad light without the conversation going around in circles, you being blamed, and the narrative of what actually happened being changed to paint him in a better light.
People like this don't change (except periodically, to keep you hooked). Talking will get you nowhere. You have to decide if you're willing to live like this. Suspect, if you leave, you'll feel a great weight lift off your shoulders. No more walking on eggshells.

Being a SAHM doesn't make you an idiot or worth less than a working mum. Organising a house and running it properly is a full-time job, especially when there are children. A sign on your door won't stop them because they believe they have the right to treat your home as their own. You ought not need to have a lock but with these people it's the only way. He doesn't sound worth the distress he causes you. Planning how to leave and examining your options is a useful thing. It means you're giving yourself a choice.

This 👍

Put a lock on your door. Take yourself and DC out for the day and leave them to fend for themselves.

where are they from?

Firstly why does his family need to come into your bedroom? Secondly why can’t he respect your wishes?
Maybe you need to change your sanitary wear & perhaps when there’s an accident take the bedding off as soon as your up & put it in the laundry bin you don’t need to put a new sheet on immediately but fold the bedding so it’s neat & tidy

Spinning it back on you is gas lighting. Does he always do this if you disagree with him?