To think that men who evade paying for their children are a burden on society?

[ASimpleLampoon]

Not my situation as not divorced but I'm fed up of hearing about thousands of men who don't pay child support or only pay the minimum, or fiddle their employment status/ declared income to pay less

They should pay at least half the actual costs of raising their children, more if they earn significantly more than the other parent

If they can't pay they should be supported to get a better job

If theyre self employed and can't pay enough well get a job that allows you to pay.

If they're getting paid in cash, take on more work to pay or find a job where they can't hide their income so they have to pay.

They are the real burden on society , fed up of seeing disabled people and carers torn apart while these feckless men get away with it year after year.

Where is the government and media campaign against them?

It’s not just men. My step DCs mother has never contributed a penny.

Some US states have a minimum contribution that absent parents have to make, regardless of whether they are working or not. And they go to prison if they don’t pay.

We don’t have the structure in this country for that kind of system though.

I agree. Surely the government can save money on benefits etc. by making feckless men pay for their offspring?

It's mainly men though.

Totally agree.

People talking about disabled folk getting 'too much' money when NRPs use every means possible to get out of paying for their own children. Including getting a discount for their step children, pension payments, travel expenses, even if they were the one who moved.... it's just ridiculous.

The government does a fine job keeping us focused on the poorest in society and resenting them though so nothing will ever be done about it.

Why not change it from men to parents?

My ex wife was found to have misrepresented her position in our divorce and played silly buggers over our son until he was to old for her to be able to muck about

I agree it’s mainly men and it’s a fairly socially accepted phenomenon. I’m not sure about criminalising because prison doesn’t improve matters but a system that actually pursues non payers and enforces reasonable contributions would be a start.

I think people who have sex outside of committed are the burden, male and female.

For every mother like your ex wife, how many fathers do you think avoid supporting their children? 100 to 1? 10,000 to 1?

The vast majority are men though, no point pretending otherwise.

Absolutely.
Parents should not be allowed to opt out of paying for their children.

The government should go after them. Have the power to seize assets. Have access to their bank accounts. Actually do the investigation into how they are managing their lifestyle. Have a policy that choosing not to work when you have children to support is not an option. Get ccjs for unpaid child support. Have arrears never be written off so they can come after you at any point in your life. And your estate after you die.

My exH lowers his salary with a lease car and regularly complains that he’s skint. I’m sorry your brand new bmw is making you skint. He pays £800 a month for the car and £200 for our dd. A prince of a man. He did try getting full custody to avoid paying all together but failed.

Whilst I agree that everyone should pay for a kid they have this should be mums too. I hear of so many single parents who don’t work or won’t work or both and expect their lives to be funded by the kids dads and or benefits. There is absolutely nothing to stop them improving their prospects and therefore improving their kids lives. Being a parent isn’t a free pass to staying at home. ( saying this as someone who was a single parent of two for a long time )

this is not the same as someone with a disability who cannot work, it’s often choice.

I mean it would be good to pursue all parents more effectively but the difference is that there’s a strong social disincentive for women against not providing for their children but less so for men. I agree with op that a public health campaign would be good - not just financially but encouraging men to be emotionally there for their children too.

I'd like to see massive changes to cms.
For a start I'd like all income including dividends from shares taken into account the removal of the nrp to put large (higher than average % of wages) chunks of their wages in pension payments to reduce their child support payment.
I'd also like the csm to have the power to jail non payers and those who hide assets. Oh and make the nrp liable for half of all child care costs too
This government could slash the benefit bill if they made nrp pay their fair share

Just no.

It is mainly men, and a very small minority of women.

It's a gendered issue

Not going to use neutral language to appease you, if that's what you want get off Mumsnet and go to Fathers 4Justice

In my ideal world, the government would make child support payments direct to the resident parent and then claim it back via tax from the NRP. It would be like a loan and the NRP would continue to pay until the debt was settled, even if it took decades. Those who refuse to work should have their driving licenses and passports removed. I don’t see why the tax payer should pay for children that are not being supported by their NRP. Decent caring NRPs could of course make additional payments to their child at their own discretion.

Is it Australia that takes away their driving license if they’re in arrears? Our government could do more to enforce paying.

I'm talking about fathers. Not parents.

It's a gendered problem and men are the main perpetrators, and that needs to be acknowledged if we are to resolve the issue

UC makes single parents look for work when their child is a certain age or they get sanctioned.

It's a very nice BMW that gives him meaning in life and gives great hugs.

How does that work when the commitment can just as easily break down and, if anything, the co-parenting relationship can be more acrimonious because of it? No one can be forced to stay together.

I'm always agast at the fact men just upsticks and walk away from any responsibility of the children they helped to create.

Time and time again there are threads on here where the man announces one day that he's leaving (with zero expectations of taking the kids).

And I'd put money on it being 99% men / 1% women who do this.

I think that’s the best idea. Government sets a minimum a genuine minimum and pays it, the NRP gets it clawed back out of their wages/benefits/inheritance/their estate upon death till it’s paid off.

So even if he suddenly becomes a sahd to a new rich wife it’s tough he still owes a minimum every month, leaves the county oh well it will still be sat linked to your NI number waiting.

I would say think very carefully before having a child with someone may go a long way to help it, less of this 'my clock is ticking let's get on with it' or 'I wanna baby now i don't care how I do it'

I know.....what a weird post.

Over 40% of marriages break down.