To think that men who evade paying for their children are a burden on society?

[ASimpleLampoon]

Not my situation as not divorced but I'm fed up of hearing about thousands of men who don't pay child support or only pay the minimum, or fiddle their employment status/ declared income to pay less

They should pay at least half the actual costs of raising their children, more if they earn significantly more than the other parent

If they can't pay they should be supported to get a better job

If theyre self employed and can't pay enough well get a job that allows you to pay.

If they're getting paid in cash, take on more work to pay or find a job where they can't hide their income so they have to pay.

They are the real burden on society , fed up of seeing disabled people and carers torn apart while these feckless men get away with it year after year.

Where is the government and media campaign against them?

Of course it is! Children should have equal access to both parents why should children get less time with the other parent just because they’ve split up. That’s just an excuse for mothers who won’t share fairly and want more money. I’ve done 50/50 shared care since I separated from my husband and our daughter is thriving and happy and loves her two homes. Can’t believe you can actually be thankful that children get less time with one of their parents, that is so wrong.

Most children don't thrive in the long-term without a primary homebase with 1 parent, they are left feeling as if they don't belong anywhere especially when their parents move on and start new families.
As such 50/50 is nolonger seen as best practice 60/40 is becoming more common as it gives the child a primary residence base whilst allowing contact for the child with both parents. This works quite well for most until teenage years when the child has more of an independent life with friends and boyfriend/girlfriends, along with sports groups etc. They then often choose to spend more time at the home that's closer to their hobbies and friends.
This is not a personal attack against you as you seem to have taken it but an unfortunate fact that has shown itself to be true over the last few decades where 50/50 care was seen by the crts as best practice, when it isn't.
This isn't about mothers who won't share or wanting more money but about what's in the child's best interest.
Oh it's also not about being thankful that 1 parent sees less of their children but about being glad that something that has been proven harmful to most children nolonger being deemed best practice

I really couldn't agree with you more. My stepsons were 50/50 going between our house and their mum, week on, week off for years. There was the associated upheaval for them when you take in account the overall differences in how each household runs regarding rules and bedtimes, down to what time dinner is served or the mixed up clothes and the 'I've left my shoes there' etc

It's one of the lesser reasons they chose our house as their main base when they became teenagers. I know I wouldn't have liked going from pillar to post every Monday as a child and I definitely wouldn't have done it as a teenager!

I think the government should be much stricter on child maintenance- the absent parent should be automatically forced to pay via DWP and non-contribution should mean their passport is blocked - if you can't afford to pay for your kid you can't afford a holiday.

Something drastic should be done in scenarios of deadbeat parents who don't pay child support but still manage to afford luxuries all whilst claiming poverty! I know a man like this, he tries to convince everyone with the usual spiel of 'my ex stopped me from seeing the kids' and hasn't paid maintenance for over 10 years. He obviously could have gone to court if he was that bothered about seeing them but it is seemingly easier to disappear off the face of the earth and act the victim without having to part with a fart.

Of course every case is different. The 'fairness' could be argued in scenarios where a much poorer parent is paying maintenance to a much wealthier one.

My husband's ex wife has never paid a penny in child maintenance since the residency changed from 50/50 to EOW a few years ago. My DH has never asked her because he doesn't need the money and we felt it would be spiteful to do so, even though she should (legally)

Oh please 🙄

I’d just add that the burden continues on the resident parent for many years, even when the “kids” are grown up. These days young adults need help to learn to drive, uni costs, house deposits. All harder with just one parent. Not that courts would see that. It’s a first world problem. But the damage to the children continues for decades.

They don't even need to go that far to make massive differences - all that needs to happen is to staff CMS properly, train the staff properly and have the political will to encourage those staff to use the powers that are already in place.

When I worked there briefly I knew of several powers they have due to experience (both as a child when my Gp's had to chase my father and from dealings with my ex) that the guy training me was entirely unaware of.

Confiscating their passports would concentrate their minds, I think!

Using the power to take a one off or regular payment out their bank (court order not necessary for that) concentrated minds instantly when I saw it used.

Same with reminding non payers that a charge could be put on their house if necessary.

Simply not allowing non-payers to take the piss would be a start. I got told off for being "too aggressive in my approach" to one complaining man. It was clarified that my manner was fine, I wasn't rude, and I followed protocols. The 'issue' was that I didn't give him the extension he was pleading for and the supervisors felt I should have... he'd been dodging payment for four years at that point.

The current situation just isn't working is it?

As it stands my ex is "only" £1000 in arrears but he racked up more got them to reassess it claiming he "forgot" to tell them he was unemployed for awhile (he wasn't he worked cash in hand for awhile) he got a £30,000 inheritance CMO claimed they couldn't take his arrears from that i found out later they could have so they put him on collect and pay which penalises me as well as him because they charge ME fees as well as him so he had his wages garnished for 6 months then he pays them directly for 6 months then he is allowed to pay me again first month he has to pay them directly "no payment received" he never actually learns i let it slide so often because he was still seeing and interacting with the children as soon as he stopped i went for enforcement (sounds odd but if the kids can't have a dad they can at least get the money) there is no point in taking his passport he doesn't go anywhere and he needs his licence to work if they took that his wife would support him and they wouldn't get a penny off him

No idea what the solution is unless it involves community service perhaps picking litter or cleaning canals will focus their minds but all you ever here is "she won't let me see my kids" and a wonderful man online who says every girl he has ever had a child with accuses him of being abusive and he is completely innocent! He has even moved across the country and women still do it to him just awful can you imagine....I mean either he has stunning bad luck or he is actually abusive

I’ve had an open case with the CMS for 18 months since my exh stopped paying regularly. He used to throw me some money when he felt like it but 2 months ago even that stopped. So last week I asked them to look at his income again as he keeps telling me how busy he is with work. On Friday I got a notification from them to say that they’ve discovered he’s no longer on benefits and needs to pay £64 a week plus arrears built up since last September. Wanting to be fair, I immediately logged his voluntary payments which will reduce the arrears amount CMS says he owes. Less than 12 hours later I got another notification, he’s asked for them to do a mandatory reconsideration. Funny how he was perfectly happy to accept the CMS’s decision when his liability was £0 but now he needs to pay something he’s got a problem. The kids got good school reports, so I gave them an extra £8 each on their pocket money this week as a reward. He gave them an extra £50 each!! So he can afford to throw money at them for things like that but the idea that he has to contribute towards their basic costs is too much for him. Truly pathetic.

I would recommend anyone dealing with CMS to read up on their powers, and as soon as they start stalling get your MP involved.

There is a team that deal with calls from MP's offices and if your MP is one who'll push for you you'll generally get much better results quicker.

Ridiculous that it's necessary, but it's something that should be known imo

I sent my daughter’s dad a congratulations card when she turned 18. He earned a fortune under the radar all that time

I've thought about similar, sort of like a student loan for NRP. They would get a minimum amount dictated by the government.

The bill for that is sent to the NRP, this then starts attracting interest and, unlike a student loan, is never paid off. If the NRP dies then the government takes the assets to pay the bill.

I agree completely op. Fathers who can but choose not to pay for their own children are a drain on society. My on experience was that as soon as my exh saw the amount he would have to pay he choose to become self employed so that the amount he was obligated to pay was vastly reduced. I was then stuck on tax credits for years to try to make ends meet whilst raising our children on my own even though I was also working. I ended up in debt and had to move house, it caused an enormous amount of stress and our children went without because of it. All the while he was earning a shed load of cash and enjoying life to the full whilst bragging that he did his bit by always paying child maintenance on time every month.

part of the solution is that we make it unacceptable as a society. How on earth can his wife live with him knowing he’s such a twit.

I couldn’t be friends with someone who didn’t pay for their own kids, let alone get in a relationship with them. If more women did the same these men would start to feel ostracized by society

100% agree.
While we are at it, I don’t believe that CMS should be cut if the parent in question moves in with stepkids or has more children. His/her priority should always be the children born first. Can’t afford it? Don’t have anymore children. It’s pretty simple.

Agree.