To think that men who evade paying for their children are a burden on society?

[ASimpleLampoon]

Not my situation as not divorced but I'm fed up of hearing about thousands of men who don't pay child support or only pay the minimum, or fiddle their employment status/ declared income to pay less

They should pay at least half the actual costs of raising their children, more if they earn significantly more than the other parent

If they can't pay they should be supported to get a better job

If theyre self employed and can't pay enough well get a job that allows you to pay.

If they're getting paid in cash, take on more work to pay or find a job where they can't hide their income so they have to pay.

They are the real burden on society , fed up of seeing disabled people and carers torn apart while these feckless men get away with it year after year.

Where is the government and media campaign against them?

Or go out with someone who can take over the parenting duties!

I agree all parents should pay to support their children and those who avoid paying their fair share should be made to do so.

However, I think this should also apply to both unemployed single parents and couples who and claim benefits to support their children (obviously excluding parents who are genuinely unable to work at all due to chronic illness or disability). I don’t see why the taxpayer should pay to support the children of non-working parents. If it’s not ok for a father to fail to financially support his children, then the same applies to the mother. And I agree, either parent not working to support their child is a burden on everyone else- except in the less common cases where the parent is genuinely unable to work due to poor health/disability, where I think most would agree the state should step in to support the children.

This exactly

Totally agree. Producing offspring one cannot support is reprehensible. It’s sloppy lack of self-discipline that the rest of us get to pay for. I’d rather my tax contributions go elsewhere, like preserving the environment or bolstering the NHS or helping people with actual disability.

Why are you so stubborn about it being parents who don’t pay being a burden. You think a child suffers less if it’s the mother? Then your intentions aren’t about the kids, it’s about men.

I agree but it’s made difficult to work as a single parent. I’m a single mum and have far more costs but have to pay more tax than a two person household.

This is true. I do a similar job to my ex except I am more senior. He only takes the kids for two weeks a year because he is”working”. It’s seems to escape his notice that I’m working too.

Did he, aye? I’ll pretend for a moment that I actually believe that. So the scenario
was that she said she was on the pill but he insisted on a condom anyway? Great, he very maturely took responsibility for his own contraceptive choices and also protected himself against STI’s, this is of course commendable. I wouldn’t say that equates to a clear case of her entrapping him though, clearly she is in the wrong for lying about being on the pill but he took his own precautions regardless so it’s not like she tricked him into having unprotected sex. Granted if she had been on the pill and they also used a condom it would have been additional protection from pregnancy, but ultimately no contraception is fail safe and even using multiple types of contraception can result in a pregnancy so that’s the risk
he took when he had sex. Sorry to hear he’s being left holding the baby, I do wonder if you’d have quite so much ire towards a man dumping his child on the mother to raise if this situation was reversed.

Absolutely YANBU
im sick of hearing about single mum bashing. They’re the parents who stopped around.

The father of my friend’s kids purposely worked cash in hand to avoid paying for his own kids. She struggled. She couldn’t work full time. She had no pension provision. Lockdown, she had 3 kids trying to home school using 1 smart phone when all had online work. He has a new relationship and takes new partner’s kids abroad while his own kids struggle. He’d rather see them struggle than see her “benefit “ from his money or financial support. It’s disgraceful that a father would see his kids go without to prevent his ex from not struggling. Had he played the part of a father, personally as well as financially, his kids would have had a better childhood, better education and life experiences and better future prospects. Regardless of why he left them, life would have been much better for them had he supported them properly.

My son is 21 this year, his 'dad' (i use the term loosely as he has been absent since he was 6) refused to even pay £5 a week out of his benefits towards his sons upbringing.

Because of the suicide risk apparently some men kill themselves and it's hyped up massively so they are afraid too my ex had over thirty thousand pound inheritance they wouldn't take his arrears out of it (two thousand pounds) and were actually offended I suggested that "What will he live off!" (He had a full time job and was paying me nothing at the time) They then gave him three months to start paying me and he still payed late and paid the wrong amount (£100 less a month) 12 months later he has a court order to take it from his wages but that only lasts 12 months and then he gets to pay me directly again

It's quite depressing and the reason why I always advise people to not count on child support in your budget

You can see from this thread why there’s no political will to tackle this. It’s catnip to the utterly deranged MRA types.

It nearly always is men.

But what about the mothers who stop the dads from having any overnight stays just because they want all the money! 50/50 shared care and financial responsibility should be the aim for all separated parents.

That's rarely in the best interest of the child. Children need a home base rather than being constantly pushed from 1 to the other, which is why less judges are ordering 50/50 now thankfully
Very few parents block access for financial reasons though many abusive men falsely claims that and parental alienation as the reason they have extremely limited access to their children.

Or new partners, as evidenced by a recent thread on here where a stepmum was expected to do most of the summer holiday care so the dad can take 2 weeks off after the holiday to “rest”.

Out of all the single parent families I know, including mine, the men don’t want 50/50 care. My ex is very happy with his bachelor life and being a part time dad.

Only read OPs posts so apology if duplicating. Other countries handle this differently. Men can lose their passports or have assets seized by their enforcement agencies. The CSA has powers it rarely uses, it should be made to use them. Also it should not have to go to court for a liability order - the parent who is not paying should have to go to court to get their assets back. https://commonslibrary.parliament.uk/research-briefings/cbp-7774/

Totally agree that both parents are responsible for supporting their children but it's almost always men that evade the responsibility.

@cadburyeggAgreed.

The government couldn't save money as child maintenance doesn't affect benefits. However in my friends case who was made homeless for some reason wont claim maintenance from her ex so she wouldn't be in a homeless shelter

Although it makes no difference to the benefits bill. I think it's odd that maintenance is not taken into consideration when calculating benefits. It should be and there should be criminal consequences for not paying.

It’s not just men. A lot of women are irresponsible parents as well.

Absolutely agree the absent parent should pay for their kids - my partners ex wife paid nothing, after fucking off with an OM and leaving him a single parent. Not right either way round.

It used to be but the non payment of maintenance was so rife that it left single mums with nothing. The fact that they decided it was easier to not include it in calculations rather than make men pay shows just how little will there is to do anything about it. Also, please don't assume all single parents claim benefits. Many of us work ft once kids are old enough. It still doesn't mean the father gets to not pay.

You're missing the part where it's about the CHILD not either of the parents.
That child wasn't given a choice.

Both parents need to take responsibility.

And those men with "endless baby mommas"?
Any thoughts on them?